Speak the Truth, Even if Your Voice Shakes

I wish I never met my husband and gotten pregnant.
I'm stuck in this never-ending cycle of self-loathing and self-destructive actions.
I love my son.
But sometimes the pain of being with his father and his father's family is so great, that I want to take my own life...
It just wouldn't be fair to him, and I love him too much to ever be any source of his pain.