Status: Back and running!
Speak the Truth, Even if Your Voice Shakes
7
1. I have a disorder called 22.q.11. and I absolutly hate it, because I look a little different, and because people treat me diffferently.
2. I hate the fact im on a 5.0 plan for my learnining disability, even though I'm totally smart, I can work good with computers and i thought my self the keyboard and how to draw. so I always tell my teacher don't let me get out of school the easy way, treat me as a normal student.
3. I use to cut, today it will be 2 months and 27 days since I last made a red mark on my left wrist.
4. I use to cut because I felt alone, I was tired of being the world's biggest reject. I would have weird thoughts..and suicide constantly runned through my mind. I convienced my self I wasn't good enough, and that things will never get better. So I tried commiting suicide plenty of times.
5. I have major trusts issues because ive been played with by my mind and with my emotions, its hard to know who is real and who is just toying with me.
6. Ive had the same dream, as i did as I was younger, to one day walk into a book store or a library and see MY book sitting ontop of it.
7. Ive always wanted an older brother and I got to meet mine at age 10, he hates me though. He can't stand me and it fucking hurts....=\
8. I feel abandoned by my own father...I feel like he doesn't give a damn about me.
9. I lost my dog, and I miss her, I feel like it was my fault was why she died, and i still have trouble sleeping..because of it.
10. I have major trouble sleepsing becaused well of racing thoughts and well I just can't sleep...and that because I always end up having a fucking nightmare.
11. Ive been to a mental hospital four times and I pray I never go back.
12. I tell my boyfriend more then what I tell my counsler or pyscatrist. Sometimes I wonder if he really loves me or just feels sorry for me but my heart tells me he really loves me.
13. Sometimes I do get hit....I also get picked on Alot.
14. I hate my chin, and I hate that I got somhe-what of a speech problem.
15. I want at least two best friends in real life.
16. But most of all I want to be normal, accepted, and treated as an equal.
2. I hate the fact im on a 5.0 plan for my learnining disability, even though I'm totally smart, I can work good with computers and i thought my self the keyboard and how to draw. so I always tell my teacher don't let me get out of school the easy way, treat me as a normal student.
3. I use to cut, today it will be 2 months and 27 days since I last made a red mark on my left wrist.
4. I use to cut because I felt alone, I was tired of being the world's biggest reject. I would have weird thoughts..and suicide constantly runned through my mind. I convienced my self I wasn't good enough, and that things will never get better. So I tried commiting suicide plenty of times.
5. I have major trusts issues because ive been played with by my mind and with my emotions, its hard to know who is real and who is just toying with me.
6. Ive had the same dream, as i did as I was younger, to one day walk into a book store or a library and see MY book sitting ontop of it.
7. Ive always wanted an older brother and I got to meet mine at age 10, he hates me though. He can't stand me and it fucking hurts....=\
8. I feel abandoned by my own father...I feel like he doesn't give a damn about me.
9. I lost my dog, and I miss her, I feel like it was my fault was why she died, and i still have trouble sleeping..because of it.
10. I have major trouble sleepsing becaused well of racing thoughts and well I just can't sleep...and that because I always end up having a fucking nightmare.
11. Ive been to a mental hospital four times and I pray I never go back.
12. I tell my boyfriend more then what I tell my counsler or pyscatrist. Sometimes I wonder if he really loves me or just feels sorry for me but my heart tells me he really loves me.
13. Sometimes I do get hit....I also get picked on Alot.
14. I hate my chin, and I hate that I got somhe-what of a speech problem.
15. I want at least two best friends in real life.
16. But most of all I want to be normal, accepted, and treated as an equal.
♠ ♠ ♠
Anonymous