Changing the Girl

“Just breathe honey!” Said Lyn-Z softly. I was slowly freaking out. Okay, I was completely freaking out! The day I bring you to is my wedding day. We were in the same church My Chem used for the Helena video. It was perfect.

And I was freaking out.

I knew I wanted to marry him. I wanted to so badly. At 25, I was ready for kids, a real house, marriage, and total loyalty to Damien. He was my forever. And I knew it.
My beautiful bridesmaids (Lyn-z, Cassadee, Alicia, Taylor, Jamia, Christa and Willow [Damien’s 17 year old sister]) stood in front of me. Pale purple, floor length, flowy, one-flower-strap, fitted dresses adorned their bodies. I wore a beautiful white gown and had the pre-wedding glow. I had these black roses in my hands and I was shaking slightly.

Just then, a knock was heard. “As long as you’re not Damien, come on in!” Called Cass. I smiled to her. The door opened and my heart stopped.

Lysander.

“Hello. May I have a moment with the bride?” Lysander asked clearly, but still kindly. The girls turned simultaneously back to me, all with the same looks of question.

“It is okay. He is an old friend.” I said with a smile. Lysander walked into the room, and while he turned his back, I mouthed to Cass. ‘ATL MCR now.’ She nodded and followed the others out. My heart hammered in my chest, and I couldn’t tell if it was good or not.

“Oh my. I honestly thought one day I would be marrying you.” He sighed but gave a smile.

“You-you need to leave.” I said watery. Too many emotions and memories were flooding into my mind. All the alcohol, cutting, and starving. The words he spoke and the things he did to me…I never knew it was wrong until Damien and Alex explained it to me. People, adults, shouldn’t do that to kids. Especially a teacher. And then, as I stood before this man who was walking in too close to me, I shook with fear and nervousness.

“You don’t really want me to go.” He whispered, slightly pushing himself against me and placing a hand on y cheek.

“Stop.” I said almost brokenly. Tears welled in my eyes as I pushed at him. Lysander grabbed my wrist firmly, and leaned in closer with his body. “Please.” I said louder.

“Hush my angel.” He whispered, almost tauntingly. I fought against him, but he leaned in closer.

The door opened.

“Get the fuck away from her.” Growled my brother as the group entered. Alex, Jack, Rian, Zack, Gerard, Frank, Ray and Mikey. My eight saviors.

“Alex.” Lysander said in the typical villain-who-thinks-they-have-a-plan voice. He spun so I was
in front of him. “How nice to see you again.”

“Don’t touch her.” Ray seethed. I shook slightly. Lysander’s arms around me scared me.

Flashbacks passed through my mind like clips of an old movie. I just wanted him to go away!

“Hmm Ray Toro, Angel? So that’s your new play thing.” Lysander asked.

“Why?” Rian suddenly asked my ex-boyfriend and ex-music teacher. Rian and Lysander used to
be friends. Way back when ATL was just starting. That’s how I met him, and Rian blamed himself no matter what I said.

“Why? Why!” Lysander laughed again. I had begun to wonder about his sanity. “Because. She’s
my Angel and I love her.” He said aggravated.

“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have done anything like you did. You wouldn’t be here. You’d let me go.” I whispered the last part.

Lysander may have been a total jackass (among many other things), but he always listened to me. Never if I told him “no” or if I denied him something, but if I made sense, he would think it over. Lysander was one of the most confusing people I had ever met, and I don’t mean that in a good way.

The former music teacher loosened his grip around my waist, and he stepped back. Lysander’s hands turned me around at the waist. He looked deep into my eyes with his big blue eyes. “You’re right.” I let out a soft breath. “But I won’t.” And yanked me against him to kiss me.

I felt hands pull me back almost immediately (saving my lips), and I fell into strong arms. I saw Jack knock Lysander to the ground, and Zack grabbed him up. Gerard helped the brawny bassist tear Lysander out of the room. I gripped onto the arms that held me close.

“Hush Libs.” My brother cooed softly into my ear. I tried to get my breathing under control, and with the help of Alex, I did.

“I really think I hate him.” I said, watery.

“I know I do.” I gave a soft laugh to Mikey’s declaration.

“Thank you.” I said to the group, just as Gee and Zack came through the door.

“Anytime sugar.” Gee said with a wink. I gave a smile, and stood.

“Well Allycat, since you’re here, care to walk me down to my husband to be?” I asked, almost awkwardly.

“Damn. You really are resistant.” Frank said with a head shake. I gave a small smile.

“C’mon guys, let’s go sit.” Jack ushered. The boys left with a kiss to my cheek each.

I took a breath and looked into the soft (sad?) brown eyes of my brother. I pushed the Lysander situation to the back of my mind. I had become good at separating problems. It still bothered me, but for that moment I could focus on what was happening. Alex stepped to me again, and carefully wrapped his arms around my waist.

“My babygirl’s all grown up.” He said, trying not to cry. I leaned my forehead against his. Alex
had to lean down a bit, for I was only 5 foot 4.

“No. I’ll always be your babygirl. Always. I’ll just have my own babygirl while I’m at it.” I said, placing a hand on my stomach. Alex gasped and looked at my stomach, then at me. A bump was
barely visible.

“I’m gonna be an Uncle.” Alex whispered, placing a hand next to mine. He dropped to his knees. “Hey there honey. It’s me. Uncle Alex. You are gonna be so loved, you already are. I’m going to be the best Uncle ever. I’ll teach you how to play guitar, how to dance, how to write, what boys you shouldn’t date which is all, and I’m going to teach you how to laugh what you feel like you can’t. I’m going to be the big brother you nor your Mommy never had.” And he kissed my bump, then stood.

“You are the best big brother I ever could ask for, and ever could want.”

With that, Alex pressed his lips to mine one last time. I pressed mine back, and we pulled away. “Because of that, I’m not.” And he gave me his arm.