Changing the Girl

I remember the wedding, my wedding, quite clearly. Alex walked me down the aisle and stood staring at me for a few seconds. He kissed the corner of my mouth, unnoticed by the crowd because of the veil. He pulled away and whispered, “I guess I can share.”

I had smiled, and let a small nod move my head. The ceremony lasted for a short time. Both Damien and I had decided to skip the religious part, so the ceremony was mostly filled with the vows. But I’ll tell you those in a second.

The church was gorgeous and completely filled. All the bands I had toured with. All the bands he had toured with. Damien’s family and few of my family. I had blatantly told Alex to not allow our parents to come. Not that they wanted to, but I needed them to know they weren’t welcome.

Alex complied without hesitation.

Now, you might be wondering about our vows? Yes? Well, I don’t want to sound egotistical, but I had a way with words. Hopefully, I still do. Damien does as well, so our vows kicked ass.
Damien was first to say his vows. He had waited to slip the delicate ring onto my finger until he finished speaking.

“The first time I saw you, I was afraid. I was absolutely terrified. I had just walked into a coffee shop, and saw this badass girl sitting in a booth all alone. You were eleven years old and mad at the world. You wanted to rebel in every way you could, but my goodness you needed a friend. You were playing little shows in dirty pubs and all your friends were ten or more years older and had been arrested at least once. You got in fights at school and listened to your music so loud, it shook the windows. But as I sat down across from you, and saw you turn your beautiful eyes upon me, all I saw was an innocent little girl who needed a friend. A real friend. As I got to know you, I found out you were so much more than everyone thought. You did everything your brother said and thought everything of him because Alex was-no is-your hero. You love your fans more than yourself. You are so deep and you don’t hold back. You’re sweet and innocent. But at the same time you’re the most protective and fierce person I have ever met. And I’ve met the DONE tour people!” This got laughs, for they all knew it was true. “The DONE tour. That’s where my love started. I saw how caring you were with everyone. You just have this way of changing people’s lives. You’re stupidly reckless and stupidly brave. And above all, you’re no one other than yourself. And I’m so lucky to have found you. Because you’re only going to be yourself, and I’ll never get bored with that. I love it when you sit on our couch in one of my t-shirts watching documentaries, and then at some ungodly hour you decide to tell me about it. I love it when you jump around the house singing songs that you didn’t even write. I love it when all of a sudden you start to dance, and it’s not even like you have bad dance skills, no, you go full out ballet on me. I love it when I walk into our kitchen to find you have completely wrecked it. I love it when I come home after a long day and you snuggle into my side and we just sit there for hours. I love it when you blast your brother’s music as loud as possible just so you can complain as loud as possible when he pisses you off. I love it when you sit there in the morning half asleep, in one of my shirts, your hair a mess, and eating cereal half-heartedly just so I’ll make you pancakes. I love you and now everyone will know with just one glance. With this ring I promise to love you through rich and poor, sickness and health, rainy and sunny, forever and always, till death do us part. And yes, I memorized it just for you.” The man doing the ceremony gave him a smile. I allowed my half-fiancé to slip the ring over my finger.

“Well how am I supposed to top that?”I asked with a lopsided grin. He gave a small giggle and the room breathed few laughs. “You’re spectacular. I remember that day in that brightly lit café. This scrawny, nervous, smiley kid plopped themselves down in front of me. You gave me this blinding grin and introduced yourself as my number one fan. I thought you were a cute kid. Then I started noticing you around and thought you were cute in general. I fell in love with you on the DONE tour as well. I love how you kiss me when I’m rambling just so I’ll stop talking. I love how sometimes you’ll waltz through the door and spin me in a circle yelling happily about muffins. I love how you fangirl along side me when I meet new bands. I love how you complain about me taking your clothes but you unpack half my suitcase just to put your stuff in it. I love how you watch chick flicks and dye your hair more often than I do. I love when I hear your sweet voice asking to borrow my straightner. I love it when you sing me to sleep. I love it when you dance alongside me but give up and resolve to kissing me. I love how you hold me close when I feel like I can’t take it. I love how you encourage me to do anything I want. I love how back when we were kids, you saved my life. And I love how you continue to save me every day. I haven’t fallen in love with you because I just keep on falling. I’ll never understand you fully, but I love the complete shock of finding out new things. You understand me more than I do myself and I can’t wait to spend my everyday with you. I love you more than Nebraska!” Damien giggled at our inside joke. “And for your information I memorized it also! I promise to be loyal and faithful always. I promise to love you in sickness and health, rich and poor, till death do we part. And even then, I’ll keep on loving you.” And with that, I slapped Damien’s hand away as he tried to help me with the ring.

“By the power invested in me by the State of Maryland I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride!”

Damien leaned forward and placed his hand on my cheek. His lips touched mine, and I pressed mine closer to his. We pulled away as the cheers began to deafen. I giggled happily as he took my hand and ran me down the aisle. On my right, the side I was on, I could see the bands from my first tour.

First row: My Chemical Romance and All Time Low

Second Row: Falling In Reverse

Third Row: Black Veil Brides

Fourth Row: Hey Monday

Fifth Row: Dahvie and Jayy

The rest were filled with new friends.

Damien had me out the door and into the black limo. We started the short drive to the reception, Damien whispering to me sweetly. We parked and he went round to help me out. As we walked towards the door, rice and glitter was thrown at us. Yes, I said glitter.

Sooner or later we made our way to the table. My heels had been completely murdering my feet this entire time, so I slipped them off under the table. Relief flashed through me. I smiled to my husband, and he returned it. But all to soon I had to stand.

The brother/sister dance.

Alex came over and grasped my hand and held it high, leading me to the dance floor as the music started. Daydream Away, another song he wrote for me (though I was the only one he ever told), played through the speakers. We slowly danced, barely moving. Not speaking. Our eyes said everything that words could not.

At the end of our sweet dance, Alex whispered straight to my ear. “I couldn’t give you away, but I might be able to share.” And he leaned back, kissing the corner of my mouth. I gave him a smile.

“I’ll always be your babygirl.” I repeated.

“Damn straight.” He whispered playfully back. We started dancing again as, much to Alex’s overly innocent look, Memories that Fade Away floated to our ears. I leaned into Alex’s strong body, resting my head against his shoulder. We clung to each other, but didn’t move. “For you, I would tear out my own heart, and write our names together.” He whispered softly to me. “I want the whole world to know just how much I love you.” Alex told me.

“Then tell them. They’ll take it as what should be.” I told him back.

“But it’s not.” Alex reasoned.

“I know, but tell the world anyways.” I said, wanting to hear it. I felt Alex shift, and his warm lips
pressed slightly into my ear as he whispered, almost as if to make sure no one else heard, the words that made me melt.

“I love you more than love itself.” He told me, so sincerely, I let tears fall.

“I thought you wanted to tell the world?” I questioned through my tears.

“I just did.”

“Wha-“

“You are my world. Always.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and so much more.”

“I love you Alex.” I said clinging tighter as the song ended. It was as if I didn’t, he would disappear. Alex seemed to understand for his arms squeezed me securely.

“I love you too Izzy. In sickness and in health, for rich and poor-“ Alex started, while hugging me closer.

“Even after death parts us.”