"Are You Nervous Now?"

Run for cover as fast as you can,
Where fighters are lovers, enemies are friends,
And pens and knives apologize for leaving you tonight,
For leaving you tonight.

I finally regained consciousness after an exhausting night, without even opening my eyes I knew that I’d been in bed way too long, I was just lying there, counting the seconds that were going by, I could feel the warmth of the sun breaking through the glass and spreading kisses all over my bare body, although I had my eyes closed it was still too bright, I felt unfresh, I had concocted a plan in my mind, get up, shower, get dressed, my thoughts were rudely interrupted by a dull throbbing in my head. I had also realised I felt ever so slightly queasy, a hang over? I hadn’t drank nearly enough… I rubbed my forehead sleepily.

I opened my eyes slowly, preparing myself for pain, I blinked quickly the light sunk it’s little needle point teeth into my helpless eyes, wincing I forced myself to endure the glare of undesirable light. I blinked a few times and found myself staring at the ceiling, I felt empty inside, apart from the odd hangover niggles. I lifted myself off of the bed gradually and made for the bathroom, I turned the light on, I walked over to the sink, I had a look at the free toiletries and looked up into the mirror. I look exhausted, I side stepped and turned the handle of the shower to very hot, I turned back to the mirror for another look at myself but the condensation soon started to consume the glass as the water yearned for me to join it and the steam began to fill the room. I slid into the shower and pulled back the glass door, as soon as the water bit my skin it turned red, it didn’t hurt, I loved the temperature of the water up pretty high, I stood underneath the shower head and just let the water wash over me and drench every inch of my naked body, cleansing me of my wrong doings.

After a good half hour of paradise, I eventually emerged from the shower, my skin red and hot, with steam rising from it, as if I were a phoenix rising from my own ashes, born again, fresh and new. I didn’t bother to look in the mirror this time; I just wrapped a towel around my bare body. The towel was soft against my scolded skin, white Egyptian cotton with the hotel emblem embroidered onto one of the corners. I couldn’t quite recognize the logo; I stepped out of the bathroom carelessly.
He cleared his throat. I dropped my towel with surprise.
I bolted up right standing bare in the middle of the room, my eyes widened, I instinctively dropped to pick up the towel, I hurriedly held it infront of my body as I speedily wrapped myself up.
“Sorry, I should have put a do not disturb sign up…” I blushed
Spike grinned, his boyish smile lighting up the twinkle in his eye, “It’s okay, honestly” he was holding two take out cups of Costa Coffee.
“Can you, erm, can you turn your back?” I pressed my lips together in a thin line of embarrassment; I could feel the heat slowly rising into my cheeks, my heart beat racing ahead of me, my brain thinking a million thoughts at once.
I heard him chuckle as he turned and faced the door, “You like caramel Latte’s still, right?”
“Uh-huh” I sounded, I slid on some clothes, getting my legs a bit caught up in my jeans; I could tell he was trying to defuse the tension.
“So, sleep well?” He asked awkwardly
“Uh-huh.” I repeated, as I did up my jeans
“Good, you didn’t want sugar?”
“Erm, what?” my voice was muffled slightly as I pulled a shirt over my head.
“Sugar, in your latte?” he turned slightly in reaction to my murmuring,
“Oh, yeah, of course” I replied as I quickly rolled the shirt down.
“Yes sugar or no to the sugar?”
“No, no sugar” I panted trying to hide my underwear
“Can I turn around?” He pleaded
“Yes, sorry, I’m decent…” I blushed, catching my breath and realising the full extent of my hangover
He turned and smiled at me, his cheeky boyish grin, he handed me the card coffee cup, it was maroon in colour with ribs all over and the words “Costa” sprawled across the cup and it had a white plastic lid with an oval whole in one side.
He scooted onto the bed, and beckoned for me to sit next to him.
I sipped my latte and sat down, putting a little space between us, I remembered fragments of the previous night.
“I’m not sorry for what happened last night Vex, but you mustn’t regret it okay?” He looked deep into my eyes, his beautiful honey coloured eyes
“What?” I snapped at him, shocked, “It was an accident, a mistake and it didn’t mean a damn thing.”
“I know it, I’m sorry if I’ve offended you,” he looked around the room quickly trying to find the right words now, “I know it didn’t mean anything, but it was no accident, nothing is an accident.”
I laughed nervously, “Yeah,” I thought for a moment, “I was supposed to be getting married, you seduced me, and I was drunk and I screwed the fuck up.”
He shook his head and smiled again.
I stood up ready to go on the offence, “You are a complete and utter arsehole!” I scowled at him angrily, “I thought you were my friend, but no, you have to go and make my nerves a hundred times worse!” I noticed I wasn’t getting a reaction, “Just so I’d sleep with you, how fucking low must you get?”
“There wasn’t much sleeping being done,” he snorted cockily
I looked at him mouth wide open, “Screw you Spike!” I threw the coffee to the floor and made for the door,
He just howled with laughter, “You’d love to!”
I made an exasperated sigh and slammed the door behind me.

I left him to his own devices for a few hours, I couldn’t stand to be around him now, and I was lying to myself when I said it was an accident, I knew it and so did he. All I knew is, I had to talk to Kirk, see if there was any chance, any possible way that we could be together, because we were supposed to be together.