Frames That Used to Greet Me

I couldn’t sleep. For the next week, I walked around like a zombie. The entire night of the disastrous reception, I called Mickey over and over and over, but with no luck. She probably ended up throwing her mobile out the window because she was tired of hearing from me.

I couldn’t help it, though. I had to talk to her. We had to figure things out. She was Mickey and I was Harry and this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

She wasn’t speaking to me, though, and I wasn’t mental enough to show up at her flat. So I would just have to... wait it out, I suppose.

I did nothing for a week, except go to the studio when needed. We were recording more for the second album, and as much as I would have rather laid in bed all day, I had a job to do. I had bandmates who were counting on me and I couldn’t just bail on them because Mickey was mad at me. We’d figure it out because when didn’t we? We’d be fine.

I kept assuring myself of this fact over and over, and eventually I was sure I’d believe it.

The Friday after the wedding disaster, we were in the studio. I ended up finishing my vocals well before the rest of the lads and so Paul said he’d get a car to take me back to my flat if I wanted. I decided I would because there was nothing else for me to do.

“You alright mate?” Lou asked me when I was getting ready to leave.

“I’m fine.”

“Have you--”

“No,” I finished, knowing what the question was. “The ball’s in her court now. If she wants to talk to me, she will.”

Lou looked like he wanted to say more, but he held back. “Whatever you say, Haz. What are you going to do tonight?”

I shrugged. “Go back to the flat.” I remembered Gem had been bugging me fore a few days, so I pulled my phone out and opened a message to send her. Dinner? I’ll buy. “Might see Gemma. She’s been bugging me for a few days, so maybe we’ll get dinner.”

“As long as I don’t get home and find you in bed like a wanker--”

I smacked him on the back of the head before Paul came to get me and take me out to the car.

***

“This place is a mess,” Gemma said when I let her into the flat.

I rolled my eyes and shrugged. “You gonna clean it?”

She sighed, crossing her arms tightly in front of her chest. “Don’t be a twat. Are you ready? I’m starving. I had a long work day.”

I nodded, pulling my wallet out to make sure I had everything and then shoved it back in my pocket. “Let’s go.”

Gem, for some reason, was craving a margarita, so we went to some little Mexican place not far from my flat. Once we were seated and got our drinks--beer for me and a large margarita for Gem--we finally relaxed. “So what’s up?” I asked her, taking a drink. “You’ve been bugging me since Monday. Everything all right?”

“I think I should be asking you that question,” she fired back. “You look like proper shit.”

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Gem. You’re the best.”

She shrugged. “I’m not here to boost your already huge ego, Haz. I’m your sister and I’m here to figure out what’s going on.” She sipped her margarita. “So? What’s going on?”

Should I tell her? Should I let Gemma know I’ve been shagging her old flatmate for months, years even? Should I tell her that I had maybe fucked Mickey over and was’t entirely sure what to do about it?

Absolutely fucking not.

“Nothing’s going on, Gem. Just tired. We’ve been recording like crazy this past week, and it’s only about to get more mental.”

She sighed. “Figured I’d give you the time to tell me yourself, but since you’re obviously too big of a wanker to do so...” she trailed off, bringing her lips to the straw of her drink again before she looked up at me. “So, how’s Michaela?”

My eyes widened instantly, but I regained my composure. Sort of. “What?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t fuck about, Haz. I know. What you fail to realize is Michaela and I never stopped being friends. We still chat, catch up every once in awhile, and somehow in the past several months you came up. Michaela’s a bloody awful liar.”

I buried my head in my hands. She wasn’t serious. “How long?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Since well before you came back from tour. It’s been awhile, actually.”

Suddenly it made sense. The way Gemma had been so adamant to find out who I was shagging not long ago. “You couldn’t have said something?” I muttered, taking a swig of my beer. “I mean, Jesus, Gem.”

“Oh no, not a chance. This isn’t about me, this is about you being a twat. What did you do? Because she wouldn’t tell me, but she’s upset, and I don’t know why. She told me about the wedding. Did something happen?”

So Mickey was talking to my sister but not me. Bloody wonderful. That didn’t make any sense to me. As far as I knew, Mickey wasn’t even friends with Gemma. They hadn’t really spoken since they both moved out of their flat. Apparently, that wasn’t true though.

Suddenly, my lie by omission didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Mickey had flat out lied to my face, multiple times. Every time Gem was brought up, she was lying. “No one else knows,” we’d say over and over. But every single fucking time, Mickey was lying to me.

I was caught up in my head, so I didn’t notice Gemma trying to get my attention until she snapped her fingers at me. “Jesus, Haz. Where’d you go?”

“Mickey and I aren’t speaking,” I blurted out. “Did you know that, Gem? She won’t speak to me, because apparently I’m some big fuck-off. The best part is she has absolutely nothing to be mad about apparently.”

I was talking in circles and the confusion on Gemma’s face was evident. I sighed, pushing my anger aside. “Can we just... talk about something else please?”

We enjoyed the rest of our dinner as best we could and then got out of there. I decided to play good sibling and dropped Gemma off at her building. “Sure you’re all right?” she asked when I pulled up in front of her place.

I sighed and nodded. “I’m fine, Gem.” She nodded and started to get out, then as an afterthought I added, “Thank you. Sorry for being a twat.”

She laughed and waved me off. “After 18 years, I’m used to it.” She winked and then waved goodbye. I made sure she was safe inside before I pulled away and headed back to mine.

***

“Gemma bloody knew!” I yelled when I got into the flat. “Lou? Liv? Anyone?”

Lou came out of his bedroom. “Jesus, Haz. What are you going on about?”

“Gemma. Bloody. Knew!” I repeated through clenched teeth.

“Knew what?” Livia asked, following Lou out into the living room.

“About Mick and I! She knew! This entire fucking time, she’s known!”

I walked into the living room and sat down, Liv and Lou doing the same. I watched as Liv rolled her eyes. We still weren’t on the best terms, but things were... a little better, I suppose. “So what, Haz? Does it matter?”

“Yeah it bloody matters! It matters because Mickey’s been lying to me this whole fucking time!”

“How?” they both echoed.

“She was always making sure no one knew, she was always the one to sneak in and out. Mickey was the one who didn’t want to broadcast it to the world, yet she told my bloody sister! She told me she and Gem didn’t even speak to each other anymore, but they fucking catch up all the time!"

Neither said anything at first, but then Liv spoke up. “Look, Haz, she shouldn’t lie to you either. I mean, two wrongs don’t make a right, yeah? But... so what? I mean, who cares if she told your sister?”

I stood up. “I care, Liv. She’s furious at me for merely talking to another lass, but she’s been lying to me this whole time. That’s not okay.”

Liv tried to protest, but I ignored her and walked back to my bedroom, done with the discussion.

Suddenly, I didn’t want to hear from Mickey anymore. I was tired of being upset over the whole thing when it shouldn’t have mattered. Mickey would get over it and we’d figure things out.

I pulled my phone out and found who I was looking for before typing my message and hitting send. I shoved it back in my pocket once she responded, fell back on my bed, and smiled. If Mickey didn’t want to speak to me, then fine. I didn’t need her.

Coffee date tomorrow? I know it’s not our usual day, but my treat. -H

Absolutely :)