Frames That Used to Greet Me

I was expecting to wake up to Mickey’s bare back pressed flush against my chest, my arm wrapped tightly around her waist, and happy. Brilliantly happy.

Instead, I woke up to an empty bed, a chill, and absolutely no Mickey.

I frowned, looking around her room for something to tell me where she went. I saw a piece of paper sitting on her pillow, so I sat up and grabbed it.

Sorry. It’s Monday, meaning back to the real world. I tried to wake you, but you were out like a light. Waking up to you was nice, but we still have to talk. I’ll... see you later?
-Michaela

Seeing her write her full name pulled something in me. I frowned down at the post-it note and crumpled it up, tossing it aside.

Eventually, I crawled out of bed and got dressed. I sort of had a strange desire to stay in Mickey’s flat until she got home, but I knew I couldn’t do that. So instead, once I had my things, I found another post-it and left her a note on her bed.

Didn’t particularly like waking up and not having you there. Talking sounds nice. Dinner tonight? Call me when you get off work.
Haz

I sighed, set the note down, and left.

When I got back to the flat, Liv and Louis were sitting on the couch, tangled in each other and watching the telly. I barely had the door closed before Liv was firing questions at me.

“You were at Michaela’s? Did you apologize? Is everything okay? Oh my God Harry, if you were actually with Cora last night--”

“Livia,” I snapped, making her shut up right away, “Can you please just be quiet?”

I didn’t stand there to catch her expression. I went to my bedroom, but of course heard footsteps following me. I collapsed on my bed, my back hitting the mattress, and then moments later felt it sink in with added weight. I opened my eyes and sighed. “Sorry,” I mumbled, apologizing to Liv.

She shrugged. “Not the first time you’ve been a twat. What happened? Did it not go well?”

I sat up and shrugged. “Not at first, no. There was... a lot of yelling, actually. Mickey was furious, for a lot of things. We got past that, and I think it went all right.”

“Did you have sex?”

I nodded.

“Were there tears?”

I gave her a funny look. “During the sex?”

She nodded, completely serious.

I barked out a laugh. “You’re mental.”

“No, I’m a girl, and it is a very strong possibility that there were tears during the sex. So, were there?”

I sighed, but shook my head. “No. I don’t think so.”

I watched as Livia nodded her head, seemingly deep in thought. “That’s actually good,” she said finally. “Tears probably wouldn’t have been a good thing. What happened when you woke up? Did you guys fight again or something? Because you were pretty pissy when you walked in and I’m trying to figure out why.”

I sighed and fell back against the mattress again. “That’s the thing. I woke up, and she was gone. I forgot she had to work this morning, but she left a note and it basically said last night was nice but we still had things to talk about.”

Livia, for the first time, was quiet, which actually worried me. “Liv? Where’s that lovely advice you’ve been dying to give me?”

I heard her sigh, so I sat up again. “What?”

She shook her head. “You’re not going to like what I have to say.”

“Say it anyways. That’s never stopped you before.”

She shrugged her shoulders, but suddenly she was avoiding my gaze. “I think... well, I’m not sure this talk is going to go so well, Haz.”

I sighed. “Why do you say that?”

I watched as her shoulders rose and fell once again. “I’m curious to know how the talk before the sex went.”

I hesitated. “Well... I mean, we were fighting. Or Mickey was yelling at me and I was apologizing.” That was the first time I realized Mickey and I hadn’t really talked last night. Instantly, I was mad at myself.

I groaned and fell back against the bed, my back hitting the mattress. I stayed quiet. “You didn’t really talk, did you?” Liv asked.

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

I heard Liv sigh. “So you haven’t confronted her about lying to you?”

I let out a heavy sigh. “No. No I have not.”

“So you slept together before you got everything figured out? That was a brilliant plan,” she muttered.

I sat up quickly and glared at her. “Thanks Liv, but I’m pretty sure you can’t give me advice on this piece of my life. Weren’t you and Lou shagging before you ever officially got together?” She rolled her eyes at me and I fell back against the bed. “Pot calling the kettle black, yeah?” I muttered, staring at the ceiling.

“I’m just trying to help, Haz. You know that,” she said, her voice softer. I didn’t answer.

She sighed and patted my knee before getting off the bed. “You should talk to her as soon as she gets off work. Figuring things out between the two of you is the most important thing right now.” I didn’t answer, but I watched as she left the room.

I knew Livia was right. My number one priority was talking to Mickey. There was still so much that needed to be said, so much we needed to figure out, and I knew just because we fell into bed together already didn’t mean anything.

I sat up immediately. The sounds of our fight last night was flying through my head at lightspeed, but the only thing I could focus on was what I had said to Mickey.

”I know. I’m sorry. I love you.”

My eyes wide, I sprinted out into the hallway and slid my way to the living room, where Liv and Lou were occupying the couch once again. Lou was particularly into the football match while Liv looked bored, but I wasn’t really processing that. I knew I looked crazy just by the way Liv looked at me. “You all right, Haz?”

“I told her I loved her,” I said, the panic seeping through my words. “I bloody told her I loved her!”

Both of them sat up, totally invested in what I was saying now. Lou clicked off the telly and focused on me. “You did what?” Liv all but screeched.

“I told her I loved her! Right before...” I trailed off, shoving my hands in my hair in frustration.

“Oh Harry...” Liv trailed off. “Tell me you didn’t.”

“Can’t do that, Liv,” I muttered.

“Well did you mean it?” Louis asked me. “I mean... maybe it wasn’t the best timing, but if you meant it...” he trailed off and I looked up just as he shrugged. “I don’t see much of a problem.”

Did I mean it?

I couldn’t help thinking of the past few months, the time I spent without Mickey. How terrible they were. How much I missed her. Then I thought about the time I spent with Mickey, those so many months I spent with her. We may have had a strict only sexual relationship, but at the same time... we knew each other inside and out. No one, except maybe the lads, Gemma, or my mum, knew me as well as Michaela did.

Before I could convince myself otherwise, I nodded my head slowly.

I heard Liv sigh. “Are you absolutely sure Harry? Because if you aren’t, you need to figure that out first and go from there. Don’t fuck with the poor girl. She’s been through enough when it comes to you, don’t you think?”

“I love her, Liv. She knows me inside and out, and I know her. I know what makes her tick. I know she has two different laughs, one she uses when she really means it and one she uses when she’s faking it. I know she only swears when she’s really angry and I know her favorite food are chips with vinegar.” I shrugged and couldn’t help the smile on my face. “I know the past few months without her have been... hell, at best, and I don’t want to think about how it will feel if she shuts me out again.”

Liv nodded. “Then I think you need to tell her that. Why wait?” I couldn’t help catching the look she gave Lou, a look of complete and total love with a blissful smile on her face. She squeezed his hand, which was resting on her thigh, and he smiled back at her before giving her a quick kiss.

I couldn’t help but think how badly I wanted that, and with one person and one person only.

“Call her,” Liv suggested. My eyes snapped to hers and she was nodding. “Really. She might not answer, but call her anyways.”

I was smiling as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I knew for a fact she wouldn’t answer, because she would be at work. I pulled up her name and hit send before bringing the mobile to my ear.

I was completely shocked when the phone only rang twice before Mickey’s voice was filling my ear. “Mick? Shouldn’t you... aren’t you at work?”

“Can you come over?”

She completely ignored my question, but I didn’t care because I could hear her voice, hear how upset she was. She sounded like she had been crying. I was instantly worried. “Mickey? Are you all right?”

She sniffled. “Can you come over please?”

I was in my bedroom searching for my keys within seconds, still on the phone with Mick. “I’ll be there in ten minutes,” I told her when I finally had my keys in my hand. “Are you okay?” I asked once more, hoping for some sort of reassurance.

“The door’s unlocked,” she said, ignoring my question once again.

Before I could question her further, the line went dead. I cursed under my breath before heading out to the living room. “Something’s wrong. I’m--”

“Go. Call if you come home,” Lou told me, cutting me off.

I gave him a short nod before I headed out the door.