I'm Nothing Without You

It started with a party. Somehow everything always started with a party. This time, it was my twenty-fourth birthday party with all my teammates—and a boatload of other people—celebrating at Danny Briere’s house. Before you deem us all irresponsible and immature hockey players, Danny’s three kids were at his sister’s house in New York for their last week of winter break from school. They weren’t due back for another two days.

“Ay Giroux,” I heard one of my teammates call out, trying to get my attention and the loud house. I spun my head in the direction of the voice to find my good friend, James van Riemsdyk, walking in my direction. I gave him a small nod and took another swig of the beer I was holding. “That Liz girl you never seem to shut up about is here,” he told me and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head.

There was no way she was actually at my party. I mean, yeah, I invited her. But I never thought she would actually show up. Liz was my extremely attractive, 22–year-old neighbor. She basically jumped at the chance to welcome me when I moved into the apartment next to hers almost six months ago. Not because of my professional hockey player status or the amount of money she knew I had in my bank account; she’s not that kind of girl. But she was just excited to have a neighbor. The apartment building we lived in was pretty upper class, so you had to have a good bit of money to your name to be able to live there. Apparently big money hotshots in Philadelphia never stuck around too long, but my job meant I wasn’t going anywhere for awhile and that made Liz happy. None of this meant Liz and I were very close though, we were just neighbors. Hence why I was surprised she showed up at my party.

My eyes scanned the living room in search of the beautiful brunette my friend had spoken of. When she came into view, it was like all the air got sucked out of my lungs. Her mid-back length hair had been curled and tousled in a way that made me want to do nothing more than just run my fingers through those beautiful locks and cradle her head in my hands. The deep purple, strapless dress she wore was short, but long enough to still be considered classy, and clung to her body in all the right ways to tease me with her attention-grabbing curves.

I’m not sure how long I had been staring at Liz before her attention turned from the conversation she was having with the friend she brought and her eyes landed on mine. She smiled at me brightly from the other side of the room and it couldn’t help but smile back. It wasn’t one of those sexy smiles I usually relieved at parties, nor was the moment filled with sexual tension but my heart sure did skip a few beats. Surprised by my own actions, I found myself leaving JVR’s side and walking through the sea of people to make my way to Liz.

“Fancy seeing you here, I greeted nonchalantly when I reached the breathtaking girl. She nodded at me while taking a drink from the bottle of beer in her hand.

“I thought I would visit my gracious neighbor on his birthday. Thanks for inviting us, Claude,” she replied and threw me another friendly smile. All I want was to turn those friendly smiles into seductive smirks, but I know Liz never thought of me like that. I opened my mouth as to tell her that it was no problem at all and that I was happy to see her, but she cut me off before I got the chance. “I’m surprised you are over here talking to me when there are so many other people here that you would rather be talking to.” Little did she know she was the only person in this whole house that I wanted to be spending time with.

“Don’t be silly, Liz. You are way more fun than all of my teammates,” I told her and she began to blush. I smirked to myself for being able to get such a reaction out of her. It was then that I decided I was going to jump on the moment and push my luck a bit. “Dance with me.” It came out as more of a demand than a question and I was shocked at how confident I was sounding. Yes, I was a confident guy, just not so much around this girl.

“I think I need a little more of this in me first,” Liz replied and took another swig from her beer for emphasis.

“I think I can manage that.”

Somehow I found
A way to get lost in you

Before I knew it, Liz and I were in the middle of the mock dance floor in Danny’s living room. Her back was pressed against my chest and my hands were resting on her hips, pulling them as close to mine as possible. My face was in her hair and the intoxicating scent was overwhelming in my nose. I mumbled her name into her ear and I felt her hum before I heard it mix in with the sound of the music.

My hands slid from her hips down her thighs and the tips of my fingers slipped under the hem of her dress. Letting out a content sigh, Liz let her head fall back against my shoulder. This left her neck open for my lips to attach to.

“Claude,” she quietly moaned, loud enough for only my ears to hear. I took this as my cue. I grabbed one of Liz’s hands and led her off the dance floor. We didn’t even make it to the stairs before my lips attacked her in a hungry kiss. As we stumbled up the stairs and down the hall in search of a room, Liz made quick work on my clothing all while never removing her lips from the passionate kiss we were sharing. The girl had my button down shirt completely opened and had my belt undone before we ever had the guestroom door closed behind us.

*~*~*~*~*
*Three months later*

It was near three in the morning when I finally got back to my apartment from the airport after getting back in Philly from Pittsburgh. The first two games of the playoffs were gone and ended with two wins for the Flyers so I was still on a bit of a adrenaline high when I came waltzing into my apartment in the wee hours of the morning. I was ready to climb into bed and try to get some rest before practice the following day.

What I didn’t expect to see was Liz curled up in my bed.

Let me inside
Let me get close to you

It wasn’t even like she had settled there with the intensions of spending the night. The were bags of chips and bowls of popcorn and soda bottles sprawled across the mattress, the TV was still on and displaying the channel I know my game was playing on, and her laptop remained open and eliminated her face as she slept in a ball at the top of the bed. I couldn’t hold back the smile that was taking over my face. She was the most adorable girl I thought I had ever seen.

I must have moved the mattress too much, because when I sat down and started to clean up the mess she had made, she began to stir. When her eyes were open enough to focus, they landed on me and a smile formed on her perfect lips.

“Good morning, sunshine,” I greeted and playfully poked at her arm. She began to mumble incoherently and I unsuccessfully attempted to stifle my laughter. “Did you even catch the end of the game?”

“Of course I did,” she grumbled, still half asleep. “You would have killed me if I didn’t see your hat trick.”

“Not kill. Only seriously injure,” I quipped back and she laughed, sounding more awake. “What are you even doing here, Liz? Should I call the cops for breaking and entering?” I knew it was unfair to get on her case for being here, we did have a key to each other’s apartment in case of an emergency.

“I always watch your away games here,” she stated as if it were the most well known fact ever. “I usually dean up and am out of here long before you get home though.” This caused one upsetting thought to come to my mind.

Change your mind
I’ll get lost if you want me to

“And is Reemer okay with this?” That’s right. As much as it pained me to admit it, Liz was dating one of my teammates and best friend, James van Riemsdyk. You see, after Liz and I slept together the night of my birthday, we ‘mutually decided’ that it would be better if we were just friends. I don’t think James even knows about what happened that night. Liz and I had become really good friends after that night, best friends even, and it had stayed that way ever since. I was actually the one that introduced James and Liz, so I guess I brought this pain upon myself.

“Not really, but he’ll live,” she answered sounding rather upset. James and I were really good friends, but of course he got jealous of how close I was with his girlfriend. Any guy in his right mind would feel the same way. Did this make me feel guilty for all the time I spent with Liz? Absolutely. Was I going to stop hanging out with her because of it? No, she would never let that happen. “I’ll clean all of this up and head home so you can get some sleep,” she announced, still sundog groggy and haphazardly pulled the covers off of herself so she could stand.

“Not a chance,” I told her and gently pushed her down until she was lying down again. “I don’t think you will make it home without passing out in the hallway.” With that, I gathered all the food Liz had accumulated and headed out of the room to return it all to the kitchen. When I got back into my bedroom, it didn’t appear that she was even awake anymore. “I’m going to go sleep on the couch, sweetheart. Sweet dreams.” I heard her tell me to not let the couch bugs bite, but I think that was all in my head. Even if she was awake, she was too tired to be sassy like that. I just knew it was something she would say if she were conscious.

*~*~*~*~*
*The next day*

I didn’t really know what was going on. When I got home from practice the next morning, Liz was in my apartment again, baking cookies in my kitchen. She took one look at me and burst into tears. I had no idea how to react. I rushed to her to calm her down, but she collapsed into my chest and started crying harder instead. From what I gathered after listening to her incomprehensibly talk between fits of tears, she had gotten in a fight with James. Such a big one that I think they broke up, but she hadn’t said that yet.

“I went to his place when I left here this morning and told him that I spent the night here instead of at my apartment. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling him. I was trying to be honest and shit, but he exploded. He went on and on about how you are more important to me than he is,” she rambled. We were now sitting on the floor in the kitchen, my legs stretched out in front of me and her head resting in my lap while she cried. I subconsciously ran my fingers through her perfectly brown hair, trying to comfort her as best as I could.

“He knows that’s not—“

“I told him about us,” she cut me off. “About when we slept together on your birthday.” Fuck. Cat’s out of the bag. James must hate me right now. “I tried to use that as proof that I wanted to be him. I told him that I picked him over you and that should be proof enough, but he didn’t go for it.”

We sat in silence a little bit longer, her cries echoing throughout the kitchen. I had literally no idea of what to say next. How was I supposed to make her feel better? How was I supposed to take this pain away? She just said that she didn’t want me and that she wanted James. How can I fix what happened?

“How drunk were you that night?” Liz asked, breaking the silence. To say I was caught off guard by her question would be an understatement. Neither answer would be the right one. If I told her that I was completely hammered, she would think that our sex meant absolutely nothing to me, that she was just another notch in my bedpost. If I said that I was only a little buzzed or basically sober, she would think that I took advantage of her in her drunken state. Lose/lose situation. Thankfully, after I kept quiet for a minute or two, she asked another question. “Do you regret sleeping with me?”

Somehow I found
A way to get lost in you

“No, Elizabeth, of course not,” I answered without hesitation. I know what it feels like to hear that having sex was a mistake. It feels like shit and I didn’t want to put her through that. And that was most definitely not the case here. She turned her head so she was looking up at me instead of out into the room. I took this as my chance to continue. “I was drunk that night, but I was fully aware of what I was doing. The alcohol was just my courage. The motive was all me.”

“I thought you only wanted me because you were drunk,” she stated and sat up so she was sitting next to me instead of in my lap. I cupped her face in one of my hands and wiped away a a couple of stray tears with my thumb. She smiled at my touch.

“I want you because I think you’re perfect,” I told her and leaned in closer to face. Our lips were mere inches apart and she leaned up to close the last remaining distance. The kiss was short and sweet, buy my heart nearly exploded out of my chest nonetheless. “I’ve wanted you this entire time, but I was okay with just being your best friend. I’d rather be that than nothing.”

Then, she pulled my face back to hers and kissed me longer and deeper this time.

“Claude,” she mumbled against my lips and I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

“Liz,”

I remember when I said

“I’m nothing without you.”