Like The Sound Of A Smile

After three quick raps on the familiar burgundy front door, Ellie did not hesitate to let herself into the house she once called home. She had put off the return for as long as she could. The house, meeting her expectations, was full. People sitting and standing, all looking ever so grim. She regretted coming. The grief that filled the air was so thick, one could almost taste it.

“Eleanor!” her mother called out, an expression of shock on her face, “I can’t believe it. You’re here.” A small attempt at a closed-mouth smile was the best she could do. All eyes were on her. Every person in the room knew she had not returned for any reason other than for Emmet’s passing. She made her way into the kitchen, with her mother on her heels. “It’s so great to see you, dear. I wish it was under better circumstance, though.” She turned to look at her mother. Upon examination, her suspicions were confirmed. No puffiness under her eyes, no wet spots on her shirt. Not one sign of distress was shown. Her mother’s hair was combed back and neatly pinned in a french twist. Her grey and black houndstooth pencil skirt and silky grey blouse fell smooth over her thin frame. Her black eyeliner and red lipstick were applied with such precision, and of course, unsmudged.

“You know I’d do anything for Emmet. Even endure this reunion.” she spat.

“Sweetheart, don’t be like that. I’m sure you’ve missed us as much as we’ve missed you.”

“Hey kiddo!” her stepfather greeted, sweeping a hand across her lower back on his way to her mother’s side.

“Don’t talk to me, Drake.”

“Eleanor!” her mother gasped. “That is not how you treat your elders.” Ellie scoffed.

“My elder? He’s ten years older than me, Mother. I’d hardly call him my elder.” Her mother turned her back and made her way to the fridge to pull out yet another cheese and meat platter to place out for guests. With a roll of her eyes, Ellie turned and made her way up the familiar staircase. She wasn’t even thinking when she approached the door covered in a huge Blink 182 poster. She turned the handle and collapsed onto the bed, burying her face in the pillow. The familiar smell invaded her nostrils. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped herself in the thick duvet. It smelled just like him. She longed for his warm arms engulf her in a tight embrace. She ached for him to call her “twerp” and ruffle her hair. Before she could even attempt to hold them back, the tears started flowing down her face, soaking his sheets, but not washing away a single memory. Her sobbing became uncontrollable, her whole body shaking with each wail. Finally, she heard a tap at the window across the room. Surprised, she sprang up to see what had made the sound. She pulled back the curtain to reveal the source. Jack was crouched down on the roof beneath the window.

“What are you doing here, Jack?” She asked, completely surprised.

“I didn’t want you to be alone for this. I know it must be hard for you to face them again. When I came through the front door, your mother said she wasn’t sure where you had gotten to, and I figured you’d be here.”

“Why did you climb onto the roof, though?” She was still concerned and a bit confused as to why he would risk his life to climb through a window when the stairs were perfectly accessible.

“I didn’t want to blow your cover.” A half-smile found its way to her face.

“Thanks, Jack.” she said, sincerely. He sat down with her on the bed.

“He’s really gone, isn’t he?” He sighed . “It’s not fair. It’s just not.”

“I know.” she responded, having slumped back into her previous emotional state.

“Shhh. Don’t cry.” Jack cooed, smoothing her hair down. “I’m here with you. I’ll be with you tomorrow. I’ll always be here with you as long as you let me. We’ll get you through this.”

“You’re coming tomorrow?”

“Of course I am. Emmet was one of my very best friends. The guys are going, too.”

“The guys are going!?”

“Well, yeah, Lee. They’re not going to miss the funeral of their best friend.”

“Jack, I told you I didn’t want to see them.”

“Ellie, you can’t tell them they can’t be there. They’re going for Emmet.”

“They can’t.”

“Ellie! Do you hear how selfish you’re being right now? If Emmet were here-”

“Well he’s not! He’s gone, okay Jack? He’s gone forever. We’re never getting him back, so it doesn’t matter how much he would disapprove of my behavior.” Jack shut his mouth. He knew she didn’t mean to be as cold as she was. She had been gone for a long time, and he knew she never wanted to be here. If the stress of losing her brother, her best friend, the only bit of real family she had left, she had to add coming back to the disgusting excuse of a step father and a pathetic waste of a life who birthed her. She had left this place for a reason, and he knew it killed her to be back. He knew that being around him was risking a lot for her. He could see how he had effected her. He could see that little by little he was wedging his way into any nook or cranny he could find in her heart, and that being around the guys would only make her departure that much more difficult. But maybe, just maybe, he could change her mind. Maybe, just maybe, he could get her to stay.