The Story of 1000 Sorrows

When Angela Rose Felix was born into this world, it was as if she "replaced her father". He died of a chronic cancer, weeks before she were born. Her mother was 8 months pregnant. Upon receiving the mourning news of her husband's death, Rose Felix was too shocked and aggrieved that she almost experienced miscarriage.

Angela was born prematurely on May 4 1995. The doctor who handled her mother said that it was pure luck that she could have survived. Little premature Angela was kept in an incubator, with tubes and machines supporting her life. Her small heart pumped blood too weakly, her red blood count too low, her lungs too fragile, her inner organs not fully developed. The moment she was born, Rose passed out and had no chance to hug her own daughter, for she was kept in an incubator immediately.

"Mrs Felix, I am sorry to say that your daughter has very thin chance of survival. Maybe only a few days. She is premature, and too weak. I-- I suggest you spend as much time as possible with her, while she is still alive."

That was what the doctor said.

There was no other family. Her husband's family had left her with all their money. Rose was left with nothing but a house. She had no penny. All were taken away by her husband's family. Rose hated them, cursed them for being evil. Luckily the house was already in Martin's name, or else they would have snatched it away too.

One day Rose walked to the incubator room, slowly, for she was still weak. She could not see her way for her eyes were blinded with tears, as she saw the small form of her premature baby. Angela was smaller than the average healthy baby. She was too skinny-- her arms were almost as thin as crayons-- and Rose could not help from breaking down and cry. Slowly, Rose placed a palm on the glass.

"My daughter. My daughter," she cried out. "Martin," she called her dead husband. "This is our daughter. Please I beg you do not take her away. I need her. Please let my daughter stay with me."

Rose looked at the small baby, who was asleep. "My baby. Please survive. Please don't leave Mommy here. Please-- please--" her cries trailed away.

Baby Angela opened her eyes, beady and small. They were very beautiful. The baby looked at her mother, as if she understood, and tried to convey "Don't cry Mommy, I'll fight and survive."

Rose's prayers request was fulfilled. After being taken care of for 2 months at the hospital, the baby was allowed to leave. She had gained considerable weight and was healthy. By that time, Rose decided to name her baby Angela. She wished her baby would grow up as a beautiful baby. Like an angel. Angela.

Their house was not in a sufficient condition. The wind blew through the holes in the roof, and life became harsh during the rainy season. During winter the pipes creaked and froze and it was too hard to unstuck it with boiling water. She could not afford milk. Angela was raised with warm tea and sugar.

By the time Angela was three, Rose found a steady job as a laboratorium assistant in a small local school. She knew then that Angela would need to go to school. There was no one else in the family. No one cared. Rose always tried her best to divide time between work and taking care of her daughter.

Sometimes during the night Rose would cry silently, wishing Martin was still there. She remembered the hard times they went through, right from the cancer diagnosis till his funeral.

Once upon a time small Angela asked where Daddy was.

"Mommy. Edwin and Sarah and Vicky all have Daddy. Why do I do not have? Where is my Daddy?"

Rose was terribly sad, but replied by telling a lie. "Your Daddy has gone off to a faraway place."

"Why can't we go see him?"

"Daddy is busy, honey. He is in God's house."

"When will he come back?"

"Daddy will come back when you are fully grown," Rose replied, her eyes reddening.

Angela pouted, thinking it must be a very very long time.

It wasn't until she was 6 years old that Angela finally learnt that Daddy was never going back. No matter how much she cried or asked for Daddy, or how long she waited. Daddy was not going back for her.