I Howl for My Lover

Phoenyx POV
It's been a year and life is amazing. Ash has been faithful to me since day one. A shocker to the entire BVB army. I had to deal with hate of the females but im slowly being accepted. People even ask for my autograph or a picture when they see me. People even have my tattoos on them.

I hadn't realized how close we all had become. I had even gotten their symbol tattooed on my arm and a new tattoo on my waist. It was a ring of stars that spiraled up my spine. My way of marking myself as Ashley's, since he had some obsession of stars.

My boys are still amazing. They are my world. I had one confrentation with a fae who got a little close but she backed down hearing the snarl of an alpha in my voice.

I love them with all my heart and cherished each member, each brother, each wolf. In my eyes they are my pack.

We were on the tourbus, on our way to another stop on their North America Tour. I was snuggled up to Ashley as we all watched a horror movie. I felt a sense of peace and love and a hint of something else that usually accompanied my sister. I smiled and then shot up.

"David! Stop the bus!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The bus came to a gradual stop. I shook all over.

Kira couldn't be here. If she was something was horribly wrong. she had a fierce loyalty to the pack, not so much to Kalor but the wolves of the pack themselves.

I stood up, ignoring the guys and going to the door, opening it and listening intently just when I started to relax, I heard her.

'May I bespeak you, Phoenyx?' She asked me.

I ran off the bus.

"Phoenyx!" The guys yelled

"Go to the venue, I'll catch up I promise!" I ran deeper and faster into the little woods, shifting about a mile away. I came to a little clearing and stopped.

'You may.Kira? What are you doing here?' I asked.

'I come bearing a message from Kalor,' She replied, sitting in front of me, always so postured like she was the Luna herself. The Luna is what a female alpha is called.

'It's been 4 seasons! Why can't he just let me go? It's his fault it came to this. Why wait 4 seasons?'

'He has a sick obsession with you being his Luna. You know that.'

'He hasn't mated?' I asked

'He hasn't even looked at a female with interest since you left.' She answered. 'But he isn't the only one who misses you, Nyx. The whole pack does, but no one dares bring up our Lishta in front of Kalor.'

Lishta. That was a term i hadn't heard in a while. A Lishta is the empath of a pack. I am able to project my feelings. I make alpha's want to keep me safe and I can control the moods of the pack. I'm very valuable to the pack's well being and pretty rare. Just about as rare as Kira.
Female seeresses are so rare they are nearly extinct. Male seers are more common but not as intuitive as females.

'I miss them too but I have my own pack here. I'm alpha whether they understand that or not.'
'Humans?' She asked curiously.

'Yes but they took me in when I had nowhere else in the world to turn to. I wasn't going back to the pack that's for sure.' I snapped protective of my boys. 'What's Kalor's message?'

There was a longing sadness in her eyes. A world weariness behind her silvery eyes. 'Kalor wants you home.' She thought to me softly.

'Not happening. Are we done here?' I asked

Pain shone deep in her eyes. 'No. Kalor wants you home. He said he will give me a few days head start. I have 2 more days to tell him your decision. If not, he will bring his best hunters and kill the people you love most and take you home by force. As alpha of your pack, it's your decision to make.'

My mind raced. I howled in pure sorrow and fury. Why Kalor? Just because I'm a Lishta? Because I'm rare? Why?

'You know where to find me when you make your decision. Go to them but make the right choice.' She said and licked the side of my face. 'I'm sorry, sister.' She padded off into the woods.
I ran to the venue. 'Go to them' had an implied 'while you still can' that went unspoken.

I found the bus and the venue, and changed my outfit, grabbing my back stage pass and going inside.

I watched the performance from backstage, smiling when Ash caught my eye and winked. The relief on his face evident.

I sang along to the songs attempting to forget about Kira's message until I could think in peace.
"You guys know my beautiful girlfriend, Phoenyx, right?" Ash said and the crowd roared and clapped.

"Phoenyx, love. Come here." Ash said holding his hand out to me.

I walked out to him letting him hug me close and kiss my shoulder softly. "What's going on?" I asked him using Andy's mike.

"Phoenyx and I have been dating for 9 months today. New record!" He joked and I laughed softly.
"But now, I want to ask her something and I want all you fuckers out there to witness." He said.
"Now I'm scared." I said looking at him warily.

"Phoenyx," he purred, the sound of my name on his lips made me shiver happily. "You were able to tame the part of me that no one has ever been able to. You changed my life in so many ways. I love waking up every morning because I know I'll be next to you. You make every day a beautiful one and I love you. I never want to lose you. I guess...what I'm asking is..." He got down on one knee and took my left hand in his, "Will you marry me?"

Tears were flowing freely. Perfect freaking timing Kira. I couldn't speak so I just nodded. I couldn't very well refuse him. He slipped a beautiful swirling ring on my finger and stood kissing me with such passion it hurt to think it wouldn't last.

The next morning I was up before everyone, even David. I ate a small bowl of ceral and took some paper and a pen up to the roof of the bus. I sat there for about an hour just getting my thoughts out. I went back inside and found David awake and taking his position at the wheel.

"David, could you drive somewhere for me?" I asked him and told him where I wanted to go.
The next two days were off days for the guys which was good.

An hour later, the boys were awake and we'd gotten to our destination, a state park.

"Where are we?" Andy said when I hustled them out the door.

"Close to my home," I said vaugely. "Come on,"

I led them on a little woodland park then into the line of trees untill came to a little circular clearing still near enough to the trail so they could find it easily.

I stopped suddenly.

"Phoenyx? What's going on."

"Kira, to me please." I said ignoring them.

Kira stepped out in her human form, wearing a red dress when she was entertaining as a human.

"Guys, meet my older sister, Kira. Kira, my boys." I said.

"Well met. Thank you for being so kind to my sister." She said with a smile, always the gracious one.

"Your...but...what?" Ash said.

I turned around to face them. "I'm not...who you think I am..." I answered.

I played with the engagement ring that I had put on a chain around my neck.

"I'm confused," CC said.

"I'm not...normal." I murmured trying again.

"None of us are. Normal is a setting on a washing machine." Ashley said softly.

"We're not completely...human," I said.

"What are you talking about."

"Du estertavet," Kira murmured. 'Show them'

I whimpered and nodded. I backed up and reached for my wolf, she awakened in me, glad to finally be able to show herself again.

I shook out my red fur and sat next to my sister, she put a hand on my fur stroking my fur. The ring on the chain still around my neck.

'Translate for me?' I asked. She nodded

"She wants to thank you for all your hospitality and she wants you to know she loves you all deeply. You have made a lasting impression on my sisters heart. She is forever grateful. You will always be her pack..." She paused and looked to me. "Tell them the rest yourself."

I shifted backed shaking my hair out. My fur changing into the little dress that they'd found me in.

"Why does it sound like you're leaving us?" Jinxx snapped out of it first.

"Because I am." I whispered.

"Why?!?!?!?" Ash howled in pure agony that broke my heart. I whimpered my heart breaking with is.

"My past has caught up to me. I'm saving your life. If I stay I'm going to get you killed. Even I can't hold off a pack of lycan assains. I can't have that on my heart or in my head."

"I can handle a gun okay." Ash said.

I cringed. "They would only be following instructions. They are my people too

"Then why would they kill us?" Jake asked

"My alpha. He wants me back. He will stop at nothing and I can't have you dying on me. You mean too much to me and to your fans. I need something to look forward to everyday. I will come back to you if it is the last thing I do...if you still want me."

"Don't go Nyx! Please don't" My heart broke as Ashley spoke. "I don't care if you change into a wolf, I don't care about any of that. Please, don't leave me."

I walked over to him and cupped his face in my hands. "I will always be with you, love. Maybe not physically, but here." I put a hand over his heart.

"You're breaking my heart, darlin'," He whispered, his eyes filling with tears.

A sob racked my body, I dropped my head to his shoulder.

"I'm breaking mine too." I whispered. "You're my everything. My heart, my soul. Ashley, you're my mate. Wolves mate for life. I'm yours eternally. Know that. I can't love anyone as deeply as I love you,it's impossible." I said not caring that Kalor will hear. I feel him close.

Ashley held me close to him, crying into my hair.

There was a slow clapping and we looked up. A man approached, his hair raven dark and his eyes an unnatural emerald.

I snarled and stood defensively.

"What a beautiful performance, Rhanya." Kalor said.

"Kalor." I growled low in my throat. " I hope your satisfied."

"I am," he smiled. "So these are your humans, huh?"

I just glared. "We had another day, Kalor."

"You don't sound like you missed, me Lishta." He said standing next Kira smirking.

"Not particularly, no. You dare to exile me and then rip me away from those I love. You are worse than scum,"

"I am still your alpha," He growled.

"No, I am my own Alpha now. You made me that when you broke my paw," I yelled.

"This is the dirtbag who is taking you from us?" Andy growled, rather impressively.

"Peace, be still." I murmured putting a hand on his arm. "But yes."

"The fuck I'll be peaceful!" Ashley roared.

"Look at me!" I commanded and he looked into my eyes.

"My battle. Not yours. I want you to take care of them. I want you to be strong for me." I wiped away his tears. "No tears."

"Come on, Phoenyx," Kalor said.

I closed my eyes. "Kalor, I want you to swear that no harm will come to them," I said.

"I swear no harm will come to your humans."

"Swear it!" I screamed turning to face him.

'I swear no harm will come to your humans, my sweet lishta.' He said in my head.

"Good." I growled.

"You have five minutes to say goodbye. Kira. Come." He said and shifted.

Kira threw me a sad look and shifted, running after him.

I hugged everyone, saving Ashley for last. "I will come back to you. I don't know when but I swear it. I will come back to you all."

I snuggled into Ashley's arms. He held me. "Please Nyx, don't leave."

"I have no choice, my love." I said softly.

I kissed him with so much passion and love it felt as though my heart would squeeze its self dry to show him how I felt for him. "I love you. My boys. My family. My pack. Until we meet again." I broke out in a sprint, jumping over a fallen log shifting so that I came down on my paws.

I ran to a cliff above them and paused, looking down at them. I howled a sorrowful song. They looked up at me and I used the true-speech to convey my thoughts to everything that could understand it.

'I howl for my family. I howl for my loss. I howl to say goodbye to those I love. I howl for my pack, my heart. I howl for my lover. I will see you again but it may be years before then. If we don't meet again in this life, I will see you in the next life. You've taught me so much and I love you all. My boys. Farewell my life, my very existences. I live for you all. To see you again. You are my strength as I go back to the place I originated from. Know that you are loved. Farewell, my friends. Farewell my brothers. Farewell my love. Farewell my pack. May time bring us together again....'

Ashley's POV
The guys managed to get me back to the bus finally. She was gone. My Phoenyx. Gone. I'd fallen in love with a she-wolf, a lycan. My lycan. My she-wolf.

My mind echoed with her howl, she was talking to us and we understood every word of it. Her passionate kiss still lingered on my lips. There was a letter on the counter and Jinxx picked it up and read it out loud.

To my Boys,
If you're reading this, I'm probably long gone. You know what I am and quite possibly that this is my way of protecting you. I know your heart broken because I am too. I wanted to explain why you really found me that day in the middle of the road...

The letter went on to explain the fight with her alpha and how he'd broken her paw. It explained how she walked untils she passed out. Throughout the letter she explained bits and pieces of pack life.

Wolves mate for life, Ash ,and you will alwys be my mate. My mate of body, heart, mind and soul. Stay safe and stay strong.

She went on to say more about hearing Kalor's message last night.

If the fans ask where i am, say I'm visiting a deathly ill relative and I need to be with my family. I will come back to you. It may be a while or it may not but I will not abandon you forever. I'm so sorry it's come to this.

They say home is where the heart is. My heart is with you all. I'll never truly be home until I find a way to make it back to you all. Farewell my love, my family, my pack.

Forever Yours in Eternity,
Phoenyx Raine Wolfe

I took her letter and held it to my chest frozen. I never asked for much but the one thing I wanted, the one person I wanted and loved the most, I couldn't have.
"Ash," Andy began quietly, but I just went onto one of the rooms on the bus and slammed the door. I read her words again and again until the words made no sense. I know I promised her no tears, but I cried myself to sleep.

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