Ever After

When Josh opened his eyes the next morning, he was lying half on/half off of the couch, and he had a bad ache in his right shoulder. A weird feeling slipped like a melting ice cube down his spine. Normally when he and Kali got into fights that resulted in her kicking him to the couch she’d wake him up in the middle of the night and tell him she was sorry and to come to bed. Since that hadn’t happened, Kali must be angrier than Josh had thought.

Very slowly he stood up and stretched until his back cracked three times as well as his neck. Then he shuffled very quietly down the hallway until he could see into the bedroom. Bennie was on the bed and she lifted her head off of her paws to look at him. She made a soft whimpering noise and tilted her head to the side. Josh moved a little closer until Kali came into view.

“What’s the matter, Bennie?” she asked softly, kissing the top of the dog’s head. Bennie’s tail thumped happily against the bed. “You’re okay.”

Josh moved a step closer but put his foot on a squeaky board. Kali looked up and her eyes met his. He couldn’t quite discern the look on her face. Was she happy to see him, or sad? Did she still want to roundhouse him? He couldn’t tell. So instead he just stood there and smiled awkwardly at her.

Despite the fact that he couldn’t tell her emotion, she looked beautiful. She was in the process of getting ready for her mother’s birthday, and she was wearing a flowing black top to cover her bump as well as lacy black boxers since she clearly hadn’t found pants yet. Her makeup was done flawlessly and her long brown and black hair cascaded downwards in just the way Josh liked it. It was almost like she wanted to make it difficult for him to argue with her.

Kali folded her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. “Are you just going to stand there, Ramsay, or are you coming into the room?”

Josh shook his head to clear it and walked into their bedroom. “You look beautiful,” he complimented softly.

Kali sighed and shuffled her feet. “Thanks.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Josh sighed in defeat. “I’ve been a shit husband, and I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, okay? I won’t ditch out on you again, I promise.”

Kali peered up at him through her eyelashes. “You swear?”

“I swear on our marriage, that’s how serious I am.” He smiled crookedly. “Do you forgive me?”

“Yes,” Kali sighed, walking over to kiss him quickly. “Now, start getting ready.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Josh lightly grabbed at a piece of her hair and let it slip through his fingers as she walked away. When she turned back to look at him, he smiled smugly and opened the closet.

“I hate being mad at you, Josh, you know that,” Kali murmured. “Please don’t make me resent you.”

“Do you resent me?”

“No, but—”

“Then it’s okay. Let’s just go to your mom’s birthday party and enjoy ourselves together for once.” Josh grabbed a white cotton shirt and laid it out on the bed before going back to search for a tie. He didn’t want to argue with her anymore. He hated it when she was mad at him and he hated it even more when he found himself getting mad at her in return. They loved each other; they weren’t supposed to be at each other’s throats all the time. So, what was wrong with them?



Kali walked through the doors to the studio, smiling at the girl behind the front desk, as she did every time she came by. She knew everyone who worked there and they knew her. It gave the entire place a very homey feeling. She felt safe there.

She was also feeling happy. Josh had promised her he’d come with her to the next prenatal class, which happened to be that night. She felt almost silly being so happy that her husband was joining her in a prenatal class of all things, but since it was a first, she couldn’t help it. She wouldn’t be seen as a lonely mother, Josh would gain some useful knowledge about their future, and afterwards they’d have some time to themselves. They hadn’t had as much alone time as either of them would’ve liked, what with Kali busy early in the morning and Josh not coming home until late at night. In the past few days they’d barely even seen one another. Kali had decided that if everything went well that night, which she was sure it would, she’d have to thank Josh one way or another for sacrificing studio time to please her.

On her way down the hall, Kali bumped into Matt. He grinned charmingly at her and waved.

“You here for your boo?” he asked in a fruity voice.

Kali chuckled. “Yes, I am. I take it you’re helping him out?”

“Mm, I wouldn’t call it ‘helping’ exactly…” Matt made a face. “I’ve kind of just been eating cookies really loudly and dicking around.”

“Oh, but you’re good at that stuff.”

“Aren’t I?”

“Very.”

“Well, good luck at your class tonight. I’m actually heading home right now, so I’ll talk to you later.” Matt smiled again and started walking away.

“Alright, thanks. See you around.” Kali waved at him and continued on her way.

Matt hadn’t looked too distressed, so hopefully that meant Josh was in a good mood and not frustrated. She didn’t like it when he got like that because it always meant he’d be short with her. He’d act like everything she said was wrong just as an excuse to argue. After everything they’d dealt with in the past couple of days, she really doubted she’d be too willing to deal with that.

She carefully pushed open the door at the end of the hallway. Josh was sitting at a computer with his back to the door. Opened cans of coke zero sat clustered around him. She smiled at his back.

“You can’t knock?” Josh groaned. “I’m kind of working here…”

“Oh, okay then, my bad.” Kali knocked on the door.

Josh spun around quickly. “Kali, sorry, I-I thought you were…yeah. Anyway, come in.”

Kali stepped farther inside and hoisted her purse higher up on her shoulder. “Are you ready to go?” she asked.

Josh looked at her blankly for a moment. “Go where?”

“…To the prenatal class…” Kali’s heart fell.

“Shit, Kal, I can’t…” Josh muttered, rubbing his eyes.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me, Josh.” Kali sighed.

“I’m sorry! I just have so much to finish yet and the process isn’t going as smoothly as I want it to. The deadline is tomorrow morning for these tracks and I’m not even halfway done yet.”

“You promised me!”

“I know I did, and I’m sorry but—”

“There always has to be a ‘but,’ doesn’t there?” Kali was upset now. “You promised me you would come to this class. You said you wouldn’t ditch out on me again. I distinctly remember you promising on our marriage, for crying out loud. I understand this is your job, Josh, I do. I understand you love doing this. But I’m your wife, and I need you to do this for me. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Or do you love your job more than me?” She hated using that line. No one should be made to choose what they love more. But she was just so upset and hurt that she didn’t care what she said.

Josh stood up from his chair. “Of course I don’t love it more. How could I? I didn’t marry my job.”

“Right now I think you might as well have.” Kali muttered.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean you’re sacrificing all this time for it, and you can’t take one night to do something for me that will benefit the both of us in four months time. Four more months, Josh, and you’ll be a father. You’re more than prepared to tour the world, but are you prepared to be a dad? Because you won’t be ditching our child all the time like this, I won’t let you.”

“Kali—”

“You’re gone so often, Josh. When you’re not touring you’re doing interviews or photo shoots, or you’re here. Our child will grow up to resent you for not being there. I understand you can’t always control those things, but couldn’t you at least try?”

Josh pinched the bridge of his nose. “What are you trying to get at exactly, Kali? Do you want me to be there for you, or for the baby? Or are you just using our kid to guilt trip me?”

“I want you to be there for both of us and I thought you could use some practice.” Kali glared at him.

“Oh my god, you’re being fucking ridiculous.” Josh shook his head at her.

“I’m being ridiculous? You promised me, and you lied! I’d say I’m acting pretty fucking normal for someone dealing with that.” Kali snapped.

“Clearly you’re not dealing with it very well.” Josh glowered at her.

Kali shook her head. “What’s happened to you? What’s happened to us?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You used to be so romantic and sweet to me. We used to be so happy together. And now it’s like we just aggravate each other with everything we do.” Kali sighed.

“I’m not aggravated, I just have other things to do today and you want me to—”

“That’s not the point I’m trying to make here, Josh.”

“Then what are you saying, Kali?” Josh stared hard at her.

Kali was silent for a long time. She stared at the floor in thought and didn’t say a word. When she started to bite her lip and wrap both her arms around her midsection lightly Josh started to worry.

“Kali?” he asked in a much softer tone than he’d been using before.

“I think…I think I’m going to stay with Mom and Dad for awhile…” Kali whispered. “I just think maybe it’s for the best—”

“What? No!” Josh protested. “Why? How could that possibly make things better?”

“I think we need some space from one another for a little bit,” Kali looked at him with hardened green eyes. “We’re both stressed and busy and that’s the root of our current problems. We just need a breather.”

“You’re pregnant, Kali! You can’t just leave my sight when you’re pregnant, what if something happens to you?”

“Oh, now you’re worried?”

“Excuse me? There wasn’t a time when I wasn’t worrying about you.”

Kali groaned. “See what I mean? We’re arguing again.”

“You started that one…” Josh mumbled.

“I won’t be far away, Josh. It’s not like I’m leaving the country. I’ll be fifteen minutes from the house.” Kali disregarded his comment and watched him with saddened eyes. There was always a part of her that didn’t want to separate from him, but she knew it’d be the best decision for both of them.

“How long are you leaving me?” Josh asked in a crackly voice.

“I’m not leaving you, I’m just clearing my head and so are you. It’ll only be for a week or two at the most.”

“Yeah, then a week or two will turn into a month, and in a month you won’t want to see me anymore…”

“Josh, stop it. You know that isn’t true. I’m just tired of arguing. It’s wearing me out and it isn’t us. We need to get back to us.” Kali took his hand in hers and traced his wedding ring lightly. His sad blue eyes penetrated hers and for a moment they were in silence, each dwelling in their own sorrow.

“Please just think about this, Kal…” Josh begged in a whisper.

“I have. It’s for the best.” She dropped his hand, pulled her purse up onto her shoulder and looked away from him. “Maybe my Mom will come to the classes with me. Bye, Josh.”

“Kali, please…” Josh stepped after her as she headed for the door but didn’t follow her all the way. He knew she was going and there was nothing he could do about it.

For the first time in a long time he felt like the biggest fuck up on planet Earth. Except now, instead of having drugs to turn to, he had work. So, he sat back down at his computer and faced the process that was going to take twice as long now. He didn’t totally mind, though. He preferred to keep the moment where he’d walk into a house without Kali at bay for as long as he possibly could.