Worthy to Think the World Of

Charlie and Braden walked closely together so they could hear one another over the wind and the waves. It had stopped raining a few hours ago, but the sky was still overcast and grey, and the wind was seeping into Charlie’s skin like ice. Even Viola was tentative of the waves today, choosing instead to trot along side Charlie in a slightly diagonal path because of the strength of the gusts. Patch still ran along the shore, jumping out of the way of crashing black waves and circling around to Charlie and Braden before racing ahead again.

“Are things going well at the shelter?”

Braden had his hands tucked in the pockets of his raincoat, but he was still — to Charlie’s puzzlement — wearing chino shorts and a pair of flimsy Vans. He shrugged, zipping up his jacket until the collar grazed his chin. “Okay. There was a bit of flooding over the weekend that I had to deal with when I came in yesterday. The guys who’d been working didn’t finish clean up, so there was all this wet dog food that needed to get thrown out.”

“Gross,” Charlie said, wrinkling her nose.

“Yeah, it was,” he chuckled. “I, ah, heard you stayed over at the house. With Forrest.”

“Oh,” Charlie breathed, staring out at the grey water so she didn’t have to look at Braden.

“He likes you,” Braden said, his tone weirdly conversational. Charlie wasn’t sure how to reply. “More than he’s ever liked anyone, I think.”

“Oh,” she repeated, louder this time. “Do you and him talk about…me?”

Braden threw an arm around her shoulders with a laugh. “Don’t worry, Charlie. He didn’t tell me anything other than that you stayed over because of the storm, and he was happy to have you there. He also said he told you about our dad.”

“Yeah. We haven’t talked about it since then. I’ve hardly seen him at school, which is weird, because usually it feels like he’s everywhere.”

“Forrest has that quality about him,” Braden agreed.

Charlie was really more confused than ever. Not seeing Forrest much at school made her wonder what was happening between them, because the times she had seen him were either at their crowded lunch table when he was off sitting with Neil and glancing at her every once in a while, in the hallway between class when they didn’t have time to talk, or in class, and they didn’t speak then either. He’d been working more too, at his uncle’s garage, to save up money. It had only been a few days, but Charlie missed him.

After they got their coffee and parted ways, Charlie decided to go home through the town. The wind was a little more bearable with the buildings to block it. When she turned onto her street and saw the truck parked outside her house, next to the Honda, Charlie froze in her tracks. Viola, soaked through, sat down at her feet and shivered. Once she’d picked up Viola and held her with one arm, coffee in the other, Charlie slowly approached the truck. Relief washed through her when she saw that the cab was empty, but it disappeared when she realized that it meant Forrest was inside.

With nervous fingers, Charlie opened up the front door and set down her coffee, grabbing the dog towel they kept with the shoes and wrapping up Viola like a baby. She pulled off her hood and kicked off her rain boots, then ventured further into the house.

She found Forrest and her mom in the kitchen, Forrest seated at the table in the grease-stained t-shirt, his hoodie draped over the back of his chair. Charlie’s mom was on a stew kick, thanks to the autumn weather and the night shifts she’d been taking at the hospital, because she could make them in the morning and leave them for Charlie and her dad to heat up in the evenings when she left for work. The air was a hazy mix of spices, making it feel warmer with scent alone.

“Uh, hi?” Charlie said, still cradling Viola against her chest.

“Charlie!” Rebecca exclaimed, setting down the spoon she’d been using to stir the stew. “I told Forrest you’d be back from your walk soon. We both agree you’re crazy for taking the dog out in this weather.”

Viola squirmed in Charlie’s arms. She set the dog down and dropped the damp towel onto a chair, unzipping her jacket. “What are you doing here?” she asked Forrest. A few hours ago, she’d glimpsed him in the hallway at school while she grabbed books from her locker. He’d been talking with some guys on the swim team, or maybe it was the football team, Charlie hadn’t been sure. They were tall and broad-shouldered like Forrest, permanently clad in Seaside High athletic clothing.

Forrest cast a glance over at Charlie’s mom, who'd returned her focus to the stew, and stood up. Charlie took the hint and led him out of the kitchen, through the house to her bedroom. The door shut behind them, Charlie took off her jacket and sat down on the edge of the bed, watching Forrest survey his new surroundings.

“It’s very plain,” he said, after looking at the bookshelves. “Or is this just you hiding behind another boring curtain?”

“Just because I don’t have posters or pictures on the walls doesn’t make me boring,” Charlie replied. “I have books. They are the opposite of boring.”

Forrest grinned, crossing the room and sitting next to her. “Of course you would say that.”

The atmosphere in the room changed when he placed his hand on the mattress behind her, tilting his body toward hers. Forrest’s smile was soft, and a stray brown curl fell in his eyes. “So, you still haven’t told me what you’re doing here,” she said, letting the calmness in his pistachio green gaze wash over her. It struck her that she really wanted to kiss him, and she fought to keep her breathing even and her eyes from flicking down to his mouth. But when he started talking, it wasn’t so easy.

“I wanted to see what you were doing tomorrow night,” Forrest said.

“Nothing. Why?”

“I’d like to take you on a date, Charlie,” he said with his usual easy confidence. Her eyes widened, and he chuckled. “Not, like, anything fancy. After school we could hop in the truck and drive wherever, I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to go out in Cannon Beach. We could even go to Portland — have you ever been there?”

She shook her head no.

“That could be cool. Or we can just go to Fireside Grill or The Sequoia, if you wanna stay in town. Just as long as we’re together, I don’t really care. We don’t even have to get food, we could—“

He was rambling, so she cut him off with her lips, fingers grasping at his grimy t-shirt. Forrest was actually surprised for a moment and didn’t respond to her mouth against his, but he was quick to adjust and reached across her with his other hand to cup her hip, pulling her towards him. With his insistent hands and her desire to be as close to him as possible, Charlie was soon straddling Forrest’s lap and her cardigan had been discarded, leaving her in a thin tank top.

The idea wasn’t new, but Charlie thought she could keep on kissing Forrest forever, because he kissed like nobody she’d been with before. But before they could go any further there was a soft knock on the door and Charlie’s mother was telling them that dinner would be ready in fifteen minutes. Forrest, hands flat against Charlie’s back, buried his face in her neck and let out a long sigh, running his palms up and down her spine.

“I don’t want you to go,” she mumbled.

“Your mom said I could stay for dinner,” Forrest replied, sounding tired, not lifting his head from her shoulder.

“I mean after that,” she said. “When I stayed at your house on the weekend…I liked it. Sleeping next to someone, I mean.”

Forrest hummed against her collarbone, slowly lifting his head to meet her gaze. “You don’t think your mom would let me stay.”

“She’s just protective, is all. And I mean, I get it, she’s got to adjust to all these new things just like I do. It’s nothing personal, really, she’s just worried about me.”

He got that look in his eyes that told Charlie he wondered why her mother was worried about her, that there were questions she still hadn’t answered, ones he’d been asking since day one. But he didn’t ask for an explanation, like he’d promised her over the weekend, and instead he leaned in and kissed her again.

They stayed there for a few more minutes, all lips and teeth and tongues, hands wandering but not very far, until Charlie pulled away and climbed off of Forrest, settling onto the bed next to him. They lay back, legs dangling off the end, and Forrest’s hand found Charlie’s, their fingers tangling together.

“What are you afraid of?” Forrest asked.

“The ocean,” Charlie replied. He already knew this.

“That’s it?” Forrest raised his eyebrows. His thumb ran over her hand, rough against her skin. “Not public speaking or snakes or anything?”

Charlie frowned. “I’m scared of a lot of things.”

“Fine,” he said, and tilted his head so he was looking at her. Charlie could feel his gaze on her temple and shifted her head too, and then they were staring at each other, their shoulders pressed together. Forrest’s eyes were very green, bright and pale like celery, and they were looking at Charlie with unbridled curiosity. “I’ve never been outside the States.”

“Okay,” she said, not sure where this was leading.

“I’ve always wanted to, though," Forrest continued. “When I was a kid I’d make these big vacation plans for the family that we could never go on because Mom had clients and Dad had the shop. When I was twelve, my dad said we were finally gonna go on one of those big vacations. Italy, France, Germany — we’d be gone for a whole month. My uncle was gonna take over the shop, Mom would tell her clients ahead of time and refer them to another psychologist if they needed it. Even Braden, who was fifteen and wanted nothing to do with any of us, was excited.”

Charlie could already tell where this was going by the tone of his voice, the almost imperceptible crack when he mentioned his father. She wasn't sure she wanted him to go on, just because she could see how hard it was for him to say it. “Forrest—“

“Charlie,” he said firmly. “I want to tell you, okay? I just…I never talk about any of this, not even with my fucking therapist, but with you…”

Forrest wet his lips, making his gaze convey the words he couldn’t say. Silent, Charlie nodded, and waited for him to start telling his story.

“So this trip, all the plans were made and we’d even started booking things when it happened. You can never see stuff like that coming, y’know? It just happens. It was a Thursday, I remember that because I had soccer practice after school on Thursdays and my coach pulled me aside during the warm up drills and told me that my brother was coming to pick me up because there’d been an incident at the garage and my dad was in the hospital. He’d had a stroke. Nobody understood how at first, cause my dad was an athlete in college and he did all this physical labour at the shop. But the doctor told us there was hemorrhaging in his brain that had caused it. He died a day later in the hospital.”

It was no easier hearing Forrest talk about his dad’s death the second time around. Charlie turned onto her side and wrapped an arm around Forrest’s middle, burying her face in his chest, and hoped that what little comfort she could offer was good enough, even though she knew in the back of her mind that nothing ever could, or would be.

Forrest put both arms around her, breathing out a sigh. His heartbeat was slow and steady against her cheek. They lay there until Rebecca called out again that dinner was ready.

Once they were on their feet, Charlie reached for Forrest’s hand without thinking. When their fingers linked together she turned back and blinked at him, momentarily surprised at her own actions. Forrest squeezed her hand and smiled, causing a mirroring smile to rise on Charlie’s lips, and they walked to the kitchen hand-in-hand. Rebecca raised her eyebrows when she saw them, but waited until the three of them had sat down at the table to inquire about this new development.

“Where’s Dad?” Charlie asked, before her mother could even open her mouth.

“He’s working until eight.”

“Oh.”

“So, Forrest,” Rebecca said, ignoring Charlie’s suspicious gaze. “Have you always lived in Cannon Beach?”

“Born and raised,” Forrest responded. “Though I’ve got family all up and down the coast. Mostly Astoria, but I’ve got an uncle all the way down in Coos Bay.”

Rebecca nodded. “Russell’s father was from Oregon originally, but he moved to Nevada and married Russell’s mother there. They moved out here a few years after Russell graduated high school.”

The small talk was making Charlie on edge. She knew her mother was just working up to the more nauseating stuff, like how serious he was about Charlie and what his intentions were with the relationship. Charlie didn’t even know if it was a relationship, and she certainly didn’t want her mother forcing the subject. But this sort of thing hadn’t happened in so long, she hardly knew what to do with herself.

“Do you plan on staying here after you graduate?”

Forrest took a moment before he answered, tearing off a piece of his bread and popping it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “Um, well I really like working at the garage. I’m not good at a lot of stuff, but fixing cars just comes naturally to me. It runs in the family, and my uncle always says that my dad was going to hand the shop down to me when I was old enough because my brother, Braden, he was never into being a mechanic. He likes animals.”

He was rambling again, probably because this was all coming off the top of his head. They got asked these sort of questions all the time at school but never really answered properly. Charlie reached under the table and grabbed his hand, which had fallen into his lap. With surprised eyes Forrest looked over at her, a soft smile on his lips.

“Charlie’s father and I have always been hands-on people as well,” Rebecca said, nodding in what Charlie hoped was approval of Forrest’s answer. “I’m a nurse and he’s a fire fighter. Charlie’s intellectual nature comes from her grandmother; she was a teacher.”

Forrest looked over at the blonde. “You’d make a good teacher.”

They shared a smile, and their fingers tangled and untangled and tangled again beneath the table.

“You seem like a good person, Forrest,” said Rebecca, and Charlie’s heart started sinking. No good word ever came from a sentence with ‘seem’ in it. “I had hoped that moving our family here would help Charlie, but I never expected this. I just — I’d like to thank you, if that’s not too strange to say. Russell and I were worried we’d never see our daughter happy again.”

The boy’s face fell into confusion and Charlie wanted to be anywhere but in that kitchen, sitting between her mother and the boy she was very much attached to.

“Mom—“ she started to say, because Forrest knew next to nothing about everything that had happened in Vegas, and she wanted all of this to stop before anything else came out without her being ready for it. The balance was off between them already, with Forrest telling her all these things about his dad that Charlie couldn’t understand how he was ready to talk about when she could hardly say a word about that one terrible year of her life.

“Oh, it’s not just me. I’m sure you’ve met Piper. She’s practically walking sunshine.”

Rebecca laughed, nodding that she had met the redhead and this description of her was accurate. But then she noticed her daughter’s pleading look, and finally seemed to realize that Forrest did not know about Vegas.

“She’s a good friend to Charlie,” Rebecca agreed. “And so are you.”

Under the table, Forrest’s hand squeezed Charlie’s. “I'm trying to be more than that,” he said earnestly, and her horror increased. “But we’re still working it out.”

“I see,” said Rebecca, and Charlie could tell that her mother was pleased at Forrest’s honesty. She hadn’t wanted to force it out of him.

Dinner went on smoothly after that, since Rebecca had gotten the information she wanted. Once they were finished eating, Charlie and Forrest helped clear the table and he announced that he had to leave. Charlie walked him to the door, wrapping her arms around herself as she watched him don his sweatshirt and shoes. “I could come back," he said quietly, stepping toward her.

“What?” Charlie asked, eyes wide.

“I don’t want to leave, Charlie,” he said. “But I can’t just hang around. Your mom’s gonna get suspicious. But if you're okay with it, I’ll come back later.”

The idea of sneaking Forrest into her bedroom after her parents had gone to sleep positively terrified Charlie. It wasn’t something she’d ever considered doing, mostly because she'd never met a boy she liked enough to deceive her parents like that, but also because she would've just made up an excuse about sleeping over at Sarah’s if she wanted to spend the night somewhere else.

“Maybe next time,” she replied.

Forrest looked disheartened, but it quickly turned into a grin when he ran his hands down her arms and let them rest on her hips, pulling her into him. “Fine,” he sighed dramatically, and ducked his head down to kiss her.

“Bye,” Charlie finally said, three minutes later.

From the door, Forrest winked. “Later.”