Worthy to Think the World Of

With Viola nestled in her lap, Charlie found herself feeling much more at ease answering Dr. Lynch’s questions. Instead of dwelling on the past, Dr. Lynch asked the blonde about her first week in Cannon Beach and how she was adjusting to her new life. It was too strange to talk about Dr. Lynch’s sons, who both had made quite an impact on her in just one week, so Charlie talked about Piper and Angie instead.

“You say that you feel much more welcome here,” Dr. Lynch said, folding her hands in her lap. Her nails were bitten down to the quick, Charlie noted, and wondered if the psychologist experienced a lot of stress or if it was just a hard to kick habit. “Has there been any instances where you did not feel welcome?”

Charlie dug her fingers into Viola’s wiry black fur. “There’s one girl who doesn’t seem to like me much, but she doesn’t do anything about it except glare at me. I don’t notice her, really.”

“Why doesn’t she like you?”

“Because she likes a boy who’s interested in me,” Charlie explained with a sigh. “But I’m not interested in him, so she doesn’t have anything to worry about.”

Dr. Lynch’s expression remained calm. “You have hesitance in starting a relationship,” she said. Charlie shrugged. “Let’s say you meet someone that you like. Someone you could see yourself having romantic feelings for. Would you express those feelings?”

“You mean would I date him?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t see myself developing feelings in the first place. Liking somebody is never just about you and that person. There’s too many other factors that I don’t want to deal with.”

“Such as other people’s opinions,” Dr. Lynch supplied.

“The fact that other people think they have a say in who you like or date is ridiculous. It’s better to just avoid it altogether.”

Dr. Lynch pursed her lips, but her expression didn’t change. “What if you feel a real connection to somebody?”

“I’m too young to know what that feels like.”

“Why do you say that?”

“There are so many hormones rushing through me that dictate attraction, and I’ve never liked somebody on a deeper level. It’s all superficial, because when we don’t know who we are then how are we supposed to know if we like someone for who they are?”

“That’s a very mature, Charlie,” Dr. Lynch said.

“So you agree that not dating right now is a good idea?”

“I don’t agree that you should ignore an emotional connection to someone, even if you don’t understand it fully,” the psychologist replied pensively. “You can’t start to understand who you or other people are without having social experiences. We learn about ourselves through our interaction with others, both good and bad.”

Charlie stared out the window. “I’ve had enough bad interactions to last a lifetime, I think.”

“Then perhaps you should welcome the good when it presents itself.”

“But how am I supposed to know if it’s good or not?”

“I suppose you’ll have to decide that for yourself, Charlie.”

She left Dr. Lynch’s office when their hour was up, with plans to walk back to her house along the beach. While Charlie was cutting through the parking lot a truck pulled up next to her, with Forrest behind the wheel. He hopped out and came to a halt in front of her, blocking her path. Viola, much to Charlie’s annoyance, seemed delighted at the presence of the tall boy.

“Hey,” Forrest greeted, before crouching down to scratch behind Viola’s ears. “Where’re you headed?”

“Home.”

“Can I give you a lift?”

“We were going to walk along the beach,” Charlie replied stiffly. She was still furious with him for last night’s fiasco, and couldn’t believe he was standing here acting like nothing had happened.

“Mind if I join you? I want to talk.”

The last thing she wanted was to walk with him, but Charlie knew that Forrest would follow her whether she liked it or not. So she shrugged and tugged on Viola’s leash, stalking past him. It took him only a few strides to catch up with her, his long legs easily adapting to her pace. When Charlie realized that walking quickly was only making her tired, she slowed to a more comfortable pace.

They walked in silence across the street and through the row of buildings to the beach. Forrest had that deep-thinking look on his face when he was trying to figure out what to say to her, which happened a lot. She’d known him for a week, and he annoyed her even when he wasn’t talking.

“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, his voice too loud. Charlie glanced around, but the only people on the beach were dog walkers and a family, none of which had any interest in Charlie and Forrest.

Biting down on her lower lip, Charlie crouched and unclipped Viola’s leash. The terrier set off toward the water, where sandpipers scuttled along the shoreline. She avoided Forrest’s gaze, not knowing how to reply. She’d never heard someone’s apology sound so sincere before. Usually they were mocking or repetitive, all meaning lost from being said over and over.

“Okay,” she replied, after a moment.

Forrest stopped in his tracks. It took Charlie a few seconds to realize he wasn’t beside her, and she turned around and blinked at him in confusion. The wind made his hair fall in his face, but she could still see the perplexed expression there. He’d taken his hands out of his pockets, and they fell limply at his sides. “That’s it?”

“What?”

“You aren’t going to get mad at me? Or say that nothing I do is good enough for you?”

Charlie frowned. “You apologized, and it didn’t sound fake or forced. So I accept your apology.”

He scoffed, shaking his head slightly before coming over to her. “I had a whole monologue planned on jumping to conclusions,” he informed her as they started walking again. “I guess I don’t need to say it now since you aren’t arguing with me.”

“Just because I accepted your apology doesn’t mean I think what you did is okay,” Charlie said. “You had no right to jump in like that.”

“I know,” he said, his voice soft. “I just — I’d had a lot to drink and I wasn’t thinking straight. Ed’s older, and he’s not got the best reputation with girls, so when I saw him handing you that drink when he’d been touching you all night—“

“Ed’s dating Piper,” Charlie interrupted.

“What?” Forrest breathed, his eyes wide. “How do you know?”

“Because he told me. He really likes her too.”

“Then why did he keep putting his arm around you?”

“Maybe he’s just like that? He was just trying to make me have fun because I didn’t want to be at the party in the first place,” Charlie said, realizing that this was the most she’d said to Forrest in one conversation.

“That’s why you looked so uncomfortable,” Forrest said, and Charlie shrugged. “I feel like such an idiot now.”

“Good,” Charlie replied, before she could stop herself. Forrest chuckled, ducking his head to avoid her seeing his smile. But it didn’t work, because she was shorter than him and could see the grin stretching his lips wide. “This still doesn’t change anything though.”

Forrest’s smile fell. “Why not?”

“Because—“ she stopped, sighing. “I don’t know what you’re looking for with me, but I’m not interested.”

Forrest’s eyebrows knit together and he rolled his lips, contemplating his answer. “So we can’t be friends?”

They’d come to her house. Forrest followed Charlie up to the gate, his hands back in the pockets of his hoodie. His eyes were sad, she noticed. Maybe she’d misinterpreted his advances as romantic when all he wanted was to be her friend? Piper’s warnings had warped her view of Forrest, combined with her own reservations.

“You just want to be my friend?” Charlie asked, not fully convinced.

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, no, but I’m not going to do anything if you don’t want me to. I’m not that much of an asshole, I understand that no means no. But I do like you, even if you’re kind of mean to me, so I can settle with being your friend.”

All of his feelings were laying out in front of her, ready for her to walk all over. Charlie was struck with a sudden shame for thinking the worst in Forrest, when here he was showing that he was actually a good person. He respected her enough to keep whatever his own feelings were at bay, and she at least owed him the courtesy of not being such a bitch in the future. She may find him infuriating, but at least he wasn’t a jerk.

“Okay,” she said, pushing open the gate to let Viola run through. “See you at school.”

This time, Forrest’s smile lit up his entire face. He bid her goodbye, and as he walked away, even his gait seemed happier. Charlie didn’t understand how such a large impact could be made on him when they’d known each other for such a short time.