Worthy to Think the World Of

After about a week, Charlie could sense that Forrest was starting to get frustrated. She hadn't really given up any important personal information, whether about her past or otherwise. Talking about her interests and hobbies was easy and safe, so she stuck to that. But he wanted to delve further, and she knew it. 

On Friday, Forrest came up to her by the school bus and asked if she wanted a ride from him. Piper and Neil were just behind him. Since the other two were there, Charlie figured there was no hidden catch. The bench seat in Forrest's truck wasn't meant for four people, but they managed to squeeze in. Charlie was pressed right up against Forrest, and seemed to get closer every time the truck went over a bump or around a corner. 

She was too aware of the muscles in his arm and the way his hand flexed against the steering wheel, of the broadness of his shoulders and how he tapped his foot along and sang silently to the song on the radio. He kept on pushing the curls off of his forehead, only for them to flop right back down again. 

Halfway back to Cannon Beach, Forrest started driving with one hand. His right fell into his lap, resting somewhat awkwardly against his thigh. The tips of his pinky and ring finger slid to the side, brushing ever so lightly against Charlie's bare leg. It was finally warm enough for her to deem shorts necessary, and although they weren't as tiny as Piper's, Charlie had caught Forrest's gaze linger on her legs more than once throughout the day. 

She shifted her leg away, but they were so tightly packed that she gained less than an inch of space. As surreptitiously as she could manage, Charlie glanced at Forrest's face behind a curtain of messy blonde curls and saw that he was frowning. 

Piper and Neil were the first to be dropped off. As she jumped out, Piper said goodbye with barely concealed suspicion. It seemed like no matter what Charlie or Forrest said, she didn't fully believe them. 

When Forrest drove right past her street, Charlie - now on the other end of the bench, staring out the window - cleared her throat. "You, um, missed it." 

"Yep," he replied cheerfully, throwing a grin in her direction. "Do you like hiking?"

"I grew up in the desert," Charlie reminded him. 

"Right. Well, we're going for a hike. I wanna show you something." 

Whatever it was that required them to hike in order to see it made Charlie curious. She would be completely out of her element, surrounded by trees and ferns and the cool forest air that she still hadn't gotten used to. 

There were places along the roads out of Cannon Beach where one could pull over and hike, the trailheads marked by little wooden posts with signs on them. It was at one of these that Forrest parked, moving their backpacks from the back of the truck into the cab so their valuables would be locked in. Charlie tucked her phone into her back pocket, but left everything else behind. 

The trail was uneven and intersected by roots and stones, and Charlie tripped three times before deciding to keep her eyes on the ground instead of the lush forest around them. Forrest was a much more capable hiker, and didn't even pay attention to where he was going. He looked at Charlie instead. 

It only took one glance toward him for her to learn this, and she scowled at the amused grin on his face. "Come on," he said. "We're going this way." 

'This way,' Charlie learned, was off the marked path and down what she guessed was some sort of animal trail. It wound between the ferns and underbrush and then disappeared entirely, but Forrest seemed to know exactly where he was going. Everything looked the same to her, from the trees to the little huckleberry bushes to the new shoots growing from rotten stumps. Then again, if there were in Nevada and surrounded by cacti and sagebrush, she would be the one leading the way. 

"You see over there?" Forrest asked, stopping suddenly. Charlie nearly walked straight into him, and pushed her hair out of her face before looking in the direction he was pointing. It didn't look like much to her, just a hollow beneath one of the larger trees. 

"What am I looking at exactly?" she asked. 

"It's a burrow. A skunk probably lives there." 

Charlie wrinkled her nose, causing Forrest to laugh. He motioned her forward, and the two set off again. It took nearly twenty minutes to get wherever Forrest was leading her, but Charlie knew the moment they arrived that it was worth the stumbling and wandering in the forest.

The cliff edge was about ten feet in front of her, a rocky and steep drop right down to the open ocean. Charlie saw the angry waves and shivered, imagining how easy it would be to get caught in the current and pulled under. Having grown up in the desert, she’d always had an irrational fear of the wild Pacific Ocean. It wasn’t so bad sitting on the beach, where the water crashed onto the shore and rolled lazily toward her toes. But up here, where the water was almost black, white foam billowing out as it crashed against the rocks, she felt panic bubbling inside her.

She took a step back, keeping her eyes on the land in the distance instead. They had an amazing view of Cannon Beach from here, and Charlie realized how small the town really was. She could guess where her house was likely to be, and wondered if her parents were home.

“Come on,” said Forrest, motioning her to follow him toward the edge.

“I can’t,” she spluttered, staring at him with wide eyes. Charlie wrapped her arms around herself, shivering again.

“Are you afraid of heights?”

“The water.”

Forrest grinned, coming back toward her. “I won’t let you fall, I promise.”

Then he pulled her arms free, letting one fall to the side and sliding his hand down the other until his hand enveloped hers. It was a comforting warmth, Charlie realized, and she gripped his fingers tightly as Forrest guided her forward.

They sat down on the cliff edge, their legs hanging over. There was a bit of a breeze, offering a break from the hot sun. Charlie was glad she’d put her hair up, but loose wisps still fell into her eyes. Forrest was far worse off, and kept pushing his dark locks back from his forehead. His hand was still entwined with hers, and while she’d normally shun his physical advances, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to let go of his hand as long as they were sitting there.

“See? Not so bad,” he said, smiling over at her.

Charlie knew he was pleased that she was holding his hand, but she hoped that he wasn’t getting he wrong idea. She chuckled bitterly at his words, keeping her eyes focused on Cannon Beach. “Why did you bring me here?”

“It’s my favourite place,” he answered, his voice somber. Charlie looked over, brows furrowed. “I wanted to share it with you.”

“Why?”

He avoided her question. “You’re the first person I’ve ever brought up here. Not even Neil or my brother knows about it. I used to come here once a year and jump off the cliff, and I still do, but it’s become something of a treehouse for me too.”

“A treehouse?” Charlie echoed, not understanding.

Forrest stared at their hands, running the fingers of his free hand across her white knuckles. It didn’t make her loosen her grip, but Forrest didn’t seem to be complaining. “Like a sanctuary, I guess? Just a place to think.”

Another shiver ran through her as she thought of Forrest jumping off the cliff into the dark water below. “You jump off here? Aren’t you afraid?”

He smiled, but it was sad. An unfamiliar ache pulled at Charlie’s heart, twisted her stomach into knots. She gripped Forrest’s hand tighter, but not for fear of falling. “The first time, yeah. But I’ve jumped four times. Next month is five. Five years,” his voice had dropped below a whisper. Charlie had never seen Forrest this way — he was usually so bright. Now he was all sad eyes and pursed lips, his shoulders tense.

There had to be a reason he jumped, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask.

“Thank you,” she murmured, but it didn’t feel like enough.