Chasing the Sun

When Tyler had arrived at the hospital the next morning, Abbey was taking a nap. He crept through the door, set the box- filled to the brim with memories and such- and sat down on the chair that was perched next to her bed.

At noon, nearly two hours after he had showed up, one of Abbey’s nurses came in to administer the Ativan pill- the anti anxiety pill she was on- thus waking her up in the process. When she woke up, out of the hazy and deep sleep she was in, she smiled towards Tyler and gave him a small wave before taking the ugly white pill that made him sick. This wasn’t how he pictured her ever to be.

“I brought you… things,” he spoke after Allison had left the room. Abbey’s eyes grew wide as he brought the plastic storage box up off the floor and to the foot of her bed. She pushed down the covers and crawled up on her hands and knees like a small child to peer at what exactly was inside. Tyler shook his head, and pushed her hands away as she tried to open up the box. “No way, Jose. I get to decide what order I show you the stuff in. It’s like that one time we went to that chocolate shop in Detroit and force fed you all those chocolates without letting you know exactly what was in what,” Abbey’s face went blank, obviously not remembering what he was talking about but Tyler tried to not take it too much to heart. “Which brings me to our first item,” from the pile he took a small piece of paper and handed it to Abbey. “It’s a menu from said chocolate shop, Luigi’s, in Detroit. Right after we won the cup in 2009, we went here. Drunk and high off adrenaline from winning and the elation of everything, we went into this little chocolate shop and…and… this is the menu from it. Every time I go to Detroit on a road trip you make me come back with oodles of truffles and fudge.” She grinned and ran her hands over the edge of the frayed paper; she could have sworn that it smelt like chocolate too.

After she was able to look through the old menu, Tyler took it back from her and laid it on the chair, handing her another item in the process.

“A sweatshirt?” she looked down at the soft, black hoodie that had ‘Pittsburgh Penguins est. 1967’ written across the chest. Abbey pulled it up to her nose and sniffed it, hoping maybe that would clear up what Tyler wasn’t saying. But it was to no avail, so she looked over to the brown-eyed boy staring at her hopefully.

“When I was drafted to Pittsburgh, we took a road trip down here, just the two of us, for a weekend. We toured the city, visited Mt. Washington, went inside Mellon Arena for a tourist’s tour, and visited the Southside. While in the Southside, we went into this ‘quaint’ little shop and you found this jacket and bought it and surprised me for my birthday with it, though you’ve actually used it more throughout the years than I have.” She grinned, now looking down at the jacket and being able to connect it with something, and snuggled into it. He gave her a cheesy grin as she slipped it on.

“What’s next?”

“This.” He handed her first a picture from last summer. They were cheesing for the camera, sunglasses perched on each of their faces, hot sun beating down on their bear shoulders. Without explaining where and when this picture had been taken, he handed her a small robin’s egg blue velvet box, she gasped when she opened it. “When you first saw it I thought you were going to kill me. The picture was from when we went to the Bahamas last summer and I proposed to you. We took it like maybe twenty minutes after you said yes,” he grinned as she smiled at the photograph at first he didn’t notice but she had tears rolling down her face.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Don’t cry,”

“I’m sorry. I’m--”

“Don’t be--”

“I can’t remember who I am. I don’t remember any of this. You proposing, Pittsburgh sweater trips, Detroit chocolate, Bahamas, my ring, everything, anything, I cant remember it. You sit here everyday with me, hopelessly wondering and praying if I’m going to one day wake up and remember it all… and I’m sorry. I wish so much I could remember. Remember you, my friends, my family, my work, and the accident. You’ve been here for everything and I have nothing to give to you but a bunch of bullshit tantrums, and faded thoughts.” Tyler opened his mouth to speak but she shook her head.

“This was all nice…” she said referring to the box of items in front of her, “…but I don’t remember it, and I’m scared. I want to go home, I don’t want to be here anymore… but I don’t remember that either. I don’t remember being a kid, so I don’t feel comfortable going back to Canada… I’m just stuck and I don’t feel like it’s fair to make you stuck with me,”

By now Abbey was sobbing into the old black sweatshirt and Tyler literally didn’t know what to do.

Comfort her? He risked her freaking out even more.

Ignore her? He risked her pulling father away from him than she already was.

Either way with anything in this situation he had risks he either had to take or leave. Nothing was easy, and nothing was simple. If he chose something, it had a consequence; positive and negative.

Instead of thinking about what might happen, he stroked her hair and whispered that everything was going to be okay, that he would be there for her whatever happened, and whenever things started to get rough. She sobbed softly still into the jacket, not moving around too much, only to let out cries, “I’m really sorry, Tyler.” Her voice finally broke the silence.

His heart broke. She didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve this. He buried his face in her hair and let out a cry. Things would never be the same. The accident had changed the whole dynamics of everything in their lives, and Tyler only hoped that they were going to be able to make it through the even more difficult times that were bound to happen eventually