Chasing the Sun

“Would you like to see her, Mr. Kennedy?” the doctor finally asked, snapping him out of his daze and back to the awful reality that he was in. Nodding solemnly, he followed behind her into the small and glass encased room that was currently the holding ground for his typically loud and vivacious fiancée.

She looked like a little porcelain doll lying in the white-sheeted hospital bed. All kinds of IV’s were poked into her fair arms, while wires and electrodes were attached to her skin making sure her vital signs were properly documented. In her mouth was a tube- a ventilator- that helped provide all the breathing she would need until she was able to on her own.

She didn’t look anywhere near the same.

Her long, curly red hair had been chopped short to her head in order to perform the brain surgery and ugly white gauze had been wrapped around her forehead in order to keep her brain as safe as it could be.

Scrapes, scratches and bruises laced across her face as if Edward Scissorhands had taken to her beautifully clear skin with sharp razorblades. Dried and caked blood was still evident on the places that had been recently sewed up, and Band-Aids had been haphazardly splayed across the cuts that didn’t require sutures. Her typically large and white smile was replaced with thinly, pursed lips; a stitch right on the corner.

“Oh baby,” he quietly spoke, taking ahold of her cold and tiny hand and occupying the seat that was next to the bed. “Baby--” he couldn’t finish speaking.

All the emotions- ones he had tried since finding out about her accident- spilled out as his whole body began to shake, fat tears pouring down his tanned cheeks. His inconsolable crying began to turn from hurt to anger.

He wasn’t hurt or angry with her. No. He was angry at himself for allowing her to drive home at such a ridiculous hour. He was angry with himself for not staying up like he had willed himself. He was angry with himself for not protecting her and keeping her safe like he should have.

If he hadn’t fallen asleep would she have been okay? Would she have made it home okay and without injury?

He should have gone to pick her up. It didn’t matter if he were an asshole to the guys at practice from his lack of sleep, they were pretty used to it. At least she would have been warmly asleep in their bed, next to him.

“Abbey, sweetheart? Don’t worry about me, okay?” he talked just loud enough above a whisper. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay. Get better, all right? I need you.” Again he broke down.

“Mr. Kennedy? Maybe it’s best if you head over to where we allow families to stay while they’re loved ones are in the intensive care. Get a good rest, things will be rough for the next couple of days and you need all the sleep you can get--” Tyler shook his head as she silenced. “I know this is hard for you. This isn’t something that will be easy and even if everything is hunky dory, it wont be the same again. Brain injuries are tricky things, and if they aren’t taken seriously… Well--” This time she stopped herself from speaking now wasn’t the time for her to be speaking negative to him. Things were bad enough as they were.

“If you need anything, I’ll be here until tomorrow morning, and Carrie is the nurse for the evening… Call us for anything.” With that, the doctor left.

For a while Tyler sat in complete silence. He took in the sounds, and sights; wishing, praying, and hoping that he could get both of them out of this position, get Abbey out of this situation.

“I promise that you will be okay. You’re a fighter; keep on fighting…” he whispered into her ear, softly kissing her cheek. “Keep fighting.”

A loud knock pulled Tyler out of the fitful, and nightmare-ish sleep he had managed to fall into. Angered again with himself for falling asleep, he looked over at the clock and realized it was nearly four in the afternoon, twelve hours since Abbey’s accident.

Assuming that it was a nurse who had came in for vital checks or the another dose of the medication that was keeping his fiancée in a comatose state, he didn’t bother to say anything, just went back to staring at Abbey; his still beautiful Abbey.

“Tyler?” the voice was familiar, comforting. “Shit,” Tyler’s stomach dropped at his blonde best friend who was standing at the door, two cups of coffee in his large hands.

“How—how did you know where I was?” he asked, remembering how he hadn’t let Dan or any of the guys about what had happened, and how he also hadn’t called to let them know he wasn’t coming to practice- or games- for probably quite sometime.

“Mario got a call last night saying Abbey was in pretty bad shape and you had came in with her. This morning Dan got us all together at practice and let us know, gave us the day off to do whatever we wanted or whatever, but everybody all showed up here… Everybody is in the waiting room. Dan, Sid, everybody, Mario even showed up for a little while, stopped by and left flowers from him and the family… There is a ton of flowers out there, the nurses- this hot one in particular- said she wasn’t allowed to have them in her room.” Jordan looked back over to Abbey and realized jokes were probably not in the best of times. “I’m sorry man,” he apologized, trying to shove the cup of coffee into Tyler’s face. Pushing away the cup, he waved Jordan away.

“It’s not your fault.” He spat back going into intense mode, the anger rising back in him.

“Christ Tyler, we’re here for you; on your side, on Abbey’s side. Take this cup of coffee, drink it, and go home and take a shower. There is twenty-plus guys out there waiting, and willing to sit with Abbey anytime you need. We’ll take over watch while you’re not here. Sit with her, talk to her, whatever you need. We’re here for you, and we aren’t leaving. You’re not okay, this is something tough, and serious you’re going through. Don’t shut us out. Let us be here to help you as much as we can. Don’t worry about hockey, just let us be your friend.” Tyler felt huge, gobstopper of tears welling in his eyes, but he willed them away; biting down on his bottom lip and staring up at the ceiling didn’t help them go away.

“For the first time in my life, I feel like everything is spinning out of control. She may not live, Jordan. In the next forty-eight hours she could get an infection in her brain, and die. She is the love of my life. I fell in love with her the first day of sophomore year. She was sitting by herself at lunch reading Tolstoy. She’s perfect, amazing, and funny. Two weeks later in our Sex Ed we had together class together, after learning about all of the reproductive parts, I made a chauvinistic joke and she kicked me in the balls. Kicked me square in the balls. Got suspended for a week. I fell hard, hard. And now she’s stuck in a coma, she may die… and it will all be my fault.” Jordan tried to make all attempts to console, and assure him that everything would be okay.

“She was going to be my wife next summer, my wife. The mother of my future children, the woman I went home to after a rough road trip and bitched about how shitty I played, and no matter how I did, she was my biggest cheerleader… Since Junior… And now she may not live. It’s not fair.” Jordan understood, but didn’t. He had a girlfriend,- a longtime girlfriend- Heather, one who he hoped to marry one day, but she was in the waiting room—alive and well.

“Let me sit with her. I won’t leave. Take this coffee, go home, take a shower and come back in the morning, If you don’t feel comfortable with somebody else sitting here, I’ll take the night shift, but when I ask that hot little thing at the nurses station if you’re ass has been here any earlier than noon tomorrow morning and she says yes, I’ll kill you. And that’s a promise.” Tyler grinned, then sulked again. How could he be laughing, smiling, and pretending everything was rainbows when he realized what had happened?

Finally, Tyler broke down and agreed. “Okay, but take good care of her…” Jordan agreed, and again shoved the cup of coffee into Tyler’s hands, this time he took it.

“Sidney is going to drive you home. Let Heather know I won’t be home for a while, tell her I love her. Give her a kiss for me,” Tyler looked at him warily. Jordan shook his head in agreement. “Actually don’t do that. Just tell her I’ll call her later. Get yourself some sleep, and let your family know what happened… Abbey’s too. They need to find out.” Tyler grunted. Telling his family would be one thing- they loved Abbey, sometimes he worried more than they loved him- but Abbey’s family was a whole other story. “Go.” Jordan instructed pushing his friend out the door. Before he left, Tyler kissed Abbey on the forehead and reminded her to keep fighting, and then made his way towards the waiting room where his teammate- and friend- was waiting to drive him back to their empty house.