Ruthless and Mockingbird

When Clint and Bobbi came back to the mansion, they went their separate ways. Clint decided to take a look at the Combat Simulation Room he knew was in the basement. Since he usually just stuck to regular target practice in the archery range, he felt like he needed more of a challenge.

When he stepped off the elevator, the first thing he saw was the emergency medical facilities. Everything was state of the art and stainless steel polished to a shine. There were several cots set up too, each with its own privacy curtain. Beside that room was a cryogenic storage area.

As he kept walking, he saw a game room to his right, fully equipped with a billiards table, pinball machines, and video arcade games. A childish giddy feeling washed over him as he thought of all the fun things he could do down there. He couldn't wait to show Bobbi.

The Combat Room was located about 50 yards away from there. It was a heavily reinforced area in which various robotic devices simulating humanoid and mechanical attacks could be engaged for training purposes. It was monitored by JARVIS, but there was also a control room attached to it that someone could sit in and design different exercises. Before he went to try it out, Clint decided to explore more of the floor that was literally the size of a city block.

Next, he found a gymnassium that had even more equipment than the training room upstairs. There was an Olympic-size swimming pool too, and right next door to that was something that made him stop dead.

There was a sauna in the Avengers Mansion. A freaking sauna!

Clint immediately ran toward the elevator, hell bent on finding everyone and making them use it with him. Naturally, he found Bobbi first. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to seeing her in there, all sweaty with nothing on but a towel... Damn, this whole just friends thing was killing him.

Bobbi was sitting at the table in the lab, a book open in front of her. Her blonde hair had fallen in a curtain around her face as she bent over the book, flipping a page every so often. Ruth was sitting on a stool next to a machine with big headphones rested on her head and hugged her ears. Steve stood behind the young woman hooking wires up to their correct outlet, as per the slip of paper in his hand.

"Bobbi, you gotta come with me," Clint said, practically bouncing with excitement. She looked up at him when he spoke, surprised to see him there already. They hadn't left each other twenty minutes ago. She closed the book in front of her and Clint saw that it was an instruction manual for the machine Ruth was hooked up to. Ruth smiled and waved to Clint who returned it half heartedly.

"Why?" she asked. "I'm a little busy right now."

"I promise, this is was more important than whatever you're doing with them."

That made her raise her eyebrow, "More important than Ruth's hearing?"

"Yes. That can wait," he said without hesitation.

"Okay, then what is it?" she asked.

"One word; sauna. There is a sauna in the basement. And you have to come with me immediately so we can try it out."

"I'm not leaving Ruth like this so you can try to have sex with me in a sauna. I said no last time, and it's no again. People have died doing that, you know," she said, and Clint groaned.

"Come on! It'll be fun!" he said. When her face didn't change, he pleaded with her. "Please? I'll do whatever you want, I'll promise not to try anything! Well.. maybe not that, but anything else! Please!"

"I'm sure that conversing about sex is important between married couples," Steve spoke up. "But would you mind speaking about it in private?"

Bobbi rolled her eyes, at both Clint's childishness and Steve's interjection. "As tempting as that is, no. Why don't you take Steve with you? I think Tony's around somewhere too. Bruce left while we were at lunch, something about his cousin in the hospital, so it'll have to be just you three."

Steve suddenly looked very unsettled at the prospect of going into a sauna with Clint. "Wait just a second, I'm no-"

Bobbi interrupted, "Don't worry, Steve, Clint won't try to have sex with you. Though, he does like blondes..." She gave Steve's golden hair a thoughtful look and he went pale. Bobbi laughed and went back to reading the book.

"Very funny," said Clint. "Come on, Cap." Steve hesitated and Clint got an incredulous look on his face. "Seriously?!"

"Sorry," said Steve, realizing he was being stupid and followed Clint to the elevator.

Ruth, who was giggling lightly at Steve's unnecessary discomfort, finally spoke up, "Sorry, Clint, Tony told me it was my patriotic duty to relieve the Captain of his-ah-stress." Steve whipped around and stared at the young woman with his mouth slightly open. However Ruth just gave a mischievous smile and waved her fingers at him as Clint pulled him into the elevator.

After a couple of seconds of gaping at the now closed doors, Steve finally asked, "Are all women of the 21st century that forward?"

Clint shrugged, "Not all, but Ruth has been known to say things without thinking."

"So she didn't mean anything by it, right?" Before Hawkeye could answer, the doors opened to Tony's apartment.

The billionaire glanced up from his computer screen to the two men walking out of the metal contraption. "What do you two want?"

Clint answered, "We're going to the sauna," he tried to hide his excitement. "Was wondering if you liked to join us."

Tony opened his mouth to object, but a bit of soreness in his shoulders had him changing his mind. "Alright," he said. "I have nothing too important to do today."

**

Towel clad and relaxed, the three men sat talking mindlessly to one another. The steam inside the concealed room they were in allowed the tension in their muscles to release and the heat caused a laziness to fill them up. Steve was fairly pleased with the new experience.

That is until Tony opened his mouth. "You know what I don't understand, Barton?"

"What's that?" he asked lazily, his head leaning back against the wooden wall behind him.

"I have a woman in my life, you have two women in yours, and Cap has his own little thing hanging around him," he said. "Yet none of us are getting laid." Steve rolled his eyes.

Clint laughed out loud and said, "What, Pepper giving you the cold shoulder?" He didn't wait for a reply. "But you're totally right. I mean, I have my excuse, but what's yours, Cap?"

Steve looked at the both of them, not knowing exactly what they were getting at. "Ruth and I are just friends." Tony answered with a disbelieving stare.

Again, Clint chuckled. "Yeah, and so are Bobbi and I."

"I guess it wouldn't be too surprising if she friend-zoned you," said Tony.

"She didn't 'friend-zone'' me!" the Captain retaliated. "She mentioned that she was going to- uh- relieve my stress."

"Then you're an idiot for turning her down," said Tony. "How long has it been? Six... seven decades?" Steve's embarrassed expression was enough to send Tony in a state of shock as he said, "You're a virgin?"

"Well... I- uhmm... What I mean to say is... ah," Steve pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Jesus, Steve.." said Clint in disbelief. "I'm so sorry. You don't know what you're missing."

"I think you should take little Ruthless up on her offer," said Tony.

Steve shrugged, "I'm not the kind. Besides, I'm not too sure if she was serious or not. Last I checked, dames frowned upon men who begged for sex."

"You're so desperate you've been reduced to begging?" Clint shifted uncomfortably at Tony's comment. The older man noticed. "Not you too, Barton! Do we need an intervention? Do I need to teach you both how to woo women?"

"You don't know what Bobbi's like in bed. If you did, you'd be begging too," said Clint defensively.

"Still have no idea how to charm the pants off your own wife? That's a little sad."

Steve took up defense, "Says the guy who's sleeping alone."

"Says Captain Chastity!" Tony retorted.

"Okay, enough!" Clint shouted. "How about instead of picking on each others sex lives," Tony coughed "Or lack thereof" behind his hand. "we combine forces to conquer the evil of a woman's mind games?"

Steve and Tony gave Clint a curious look. Tony finally spoke up, "What are you talking about?"

"Women are always playing mind games. Take Bobbi for instance. One minute she's giving me that look, and she's flirting with me, and the second I hint toward anything physical, she laughs it off. She likes watching me squirm. I guess I deserve it, but that's not the point. What I'm saying is that we use their games against them and give them a taste of their own medicine," he said. "And getting us laid in the process."

Tony thought about it before agreeing, but Steve just said, "I really don't think Ruth is playing mind games with me, so I really don't see how I would benefit from this."

"Oh, really, Mr. Statute of Secrecy?" Cap gave Clint a quizzical look. "Okay, bad example for Captain Clueless. What I'm trying to say is, all women play games whether we realize it at first or not."

Tony and Clint continued there talking while Steve leaned back in thought. Could Ruth actually be interested in him?

**

Natasha Romanoff sat waiting for Director Nick Fury, thinking about everything that has happened lately. The situation Barton landed her in was complicated, and she didn't need complicated right now.

Although Natasha had cleared her name with Bobbi, she hadn't spoken a word to Clint since the night his estranged wife had shown up. But what could she say? He'd betrayed her trust, and that was something she wasn't willing to forgive at the moment.

Her job was supposed to be simple. Follow Fury's orders and do whatever needed to be done in the field to get what she'd come for. When she was partnered with Clint, at first his heedless behavior on missions made her wary. Over time though, she began to trust his instincts and she even found herself liking the guy. And then he had to go and make things confusing.

Natasha wanted to hate Clint for essentially choosing Bobbi over her, but she couldn't. It was obvious he was in love with his wife, and that's something you just can't help. Maybe it was better this way. Distractions were never a good thing when it came to their line of work.

What she needed to do now was throw herself into a job so she didn't end up wallowing in self-pity. She was Natasha Romanoff, god damn it, and she was one of the best agents S.H.I.E.L.D. had ever had. She was better than this, and she wanted to prove to herself that she could rise above the situation.

"Agent Romanoff," said a voice above her. Natasha glanced up to see Director Fury standing just behind her. She stood up and Fury turned and began walking toward the hall. "We can speak in my office."

Natasha walked silently behind Fury into his office so they could speak privately. Fury quietly walked behind the desk and sat down facing the redhead, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"You want me to place you on another assignment?" Fury asked as Natasha sat across from him. "You're supposed to be watching Agent Conners, or did you not read her files."

"Conners may be reckless, but she is in a safe environment," she reasoned. "She's not going to do anything stupid with Rogers watching her every move. I need to get out of the mansion. I'm feeling restless and my talents are wasted there."

Fury watched her for a solid minute, reading her body language. Finally he said, "I do have an assignment for you, one that just reached my desk. You're going to New Mexico. Go pack your bags, you leave in four hours. You'll be briefed on the plane."

Natasha nodded her appreciation and removed herself from the room, itching to get started. She got back to the mansion as quickly as New York transportation would and packed everything she would need. She hesitated as she went to leave her bedroom and decided to stick a note to her door explaining that she would be gone for a while.

Back on the Helicarrier, Natasha was strapping herself into one of the seats on a quinjet when Fury entered the aircraft. He was looking at her sternly, as always, and she briefly wondered if the man had ever smiled.

"Here," said the Director as he handed her a manilla folder. "Inside, you'll read that there was an atmospheric disturbance in New Mexico much like the one that occurred when Thor landed. We're sending a team over there to check the area out and I'm putting you in charge. Jane Foster will be there too to lend us her expertise in the subject."

"And Selvig?"

"He took some time off to recover," he said simply, "Be careful, Agent Romanoff. We don't know what might be out there, and I don't want a repeat of the last time extraterrestrials came to Earth."