When the Guns Die Down

‘Why did you do it?’

Jaime had disappeared round the side of the building for a while, and Jack’s selfish side hoped she had left. But now she was back, glaring at him with accusing eyes once again. As well as being dirty, she was now also wet.

‘Do what?’ he asked, almost lazily.

‘Go places,’ she said. ‘Whilst everyone else is struggling to put food in their kids’ mouths, you’re off sunbathing on a beach.’

‘It wasn’t sunny enough for sunbathing.’ A smirk touched the corners of his mouth, and fury flashed in Jaime’s eyes.

‘You know what I mean.’ Once again, she turned away. Jack had begun to notice how she did that a lot.

‘I felt like it,’ he told her. ‘I was bored of London.’

‘We’re all bored of London,’ she said, still with that same accusing tone. ‘But the rest of us are spending too much time trying to protect our friends and families to be able to go to the beach.’

‘I don’t have any family to protect,’ he said. His tone was so casual and indifferent that Jaime did a double take.

‘I thought—‘

‘They’re dead.’

‘All of them? I thought you had a brother. And a sister.’

‘They’re all dead,’ he confirmed grimly. ‘Gone to a better place, hopefully.’

She rolled her eyes and groaned. Any sympathy that she might have momentarily possessed for him had dissipated.

‘You’re not one of them religious nuts, are you?’

Jack laughed humourlessly. ‘No. At least, I don’t think I am. But my mum once told me that life was just the journey between birth and death. And my dad said that life was what happened while you were making other plans.’

‘I don’t think he meant it quite so literally,’ Jaime said.

Jack shrugged. ‘Maybe he didn’t. Who knows? But that’s how I mean it.’ He expected her to interrupt; to argue; but she didn’t, so he continued. ‘I mean, I don’t know what happens after we die, so I’m not gonna pretend I have all the answers. But let’s face it; what can be worse than this?’ He spread his arms out, indicating the two-and-a-half remaining walls of the storeroom and the pile of debris that lay outside.

Jaime paced across in front of him, leaning against the wall he was sitting against. ‘You’re crazy.’

‘Crazy?’ he scoffed. ‘Anyone who believes anything else is crazy. I’m just being realistic. When you live in a world like this, you might as well give up on life and start making plans for the next life.’

‘How can you say that?’ Suddenly, Jaime's tone changed drastically. She spoke in little more than a whisper, but when Jack looked up at her, she was brimming with anger. Beneath the dirt smudged across her skin, her cheeks were burning red, and as she blinked and her eyes caught the light, they were shiny with tears. ‘When my parents died, it broke me. But when my little brother died; killed by being trapped in a falling building, that was when something really changed. We were in the same house—we were sitting right next to each other. But when the bomb landed, he was killed, and I escaped with nothing more than a few cuts and bruises.

‘I was so devastated that night, I would have been happy to give my life for his. But of course, that’s not the way life works. He was eight, Jack, eight years old. He’d never done anything to hurt anyone. But he still died that night. And I realised, in that moment, how precious life is. You don’t get any second chances in this world. So for the sake of my brother, and my mother, and my father, I swore that I was going to live to see the end of this war, whatever it cost me. Life is so fucking precious, but you don’t always realise that; not until it’s too late. And if you’re wasting it making your so-called ‘other plans,’ then why the hell do you deserve to be here, when good people like my family, and your family, haven’t made it?’

Jack was stunned into silence. The tears spilled over the rims of Jaime’s eyes, and she sank down against the wall beside him, her knees curled up to her chest. Tugging at her matted hair in frustration, she buried her head for a moment, but Jack couldn’t tear his eyes away from her.

There wasn’t going to be an end to the war. He knew that only too well. But what if…what if he had the power to make it end? All the citizens of London, of England, of probably the entire world, wanted the war to be over. And if they could get the soldiers to listen to them, even for one moment, then maybe, just maybe, they had the power to change something.

He didn’t want to believe what Jaime was saying, but her words had opened up something inside him. Life was precious. Maybe he only thought otherwise as a sort of coping method; a way of dealing with the death of his family. Maybe his beliefs that his parents were in a better place, having reached the end of their journey, was only a way to stop him from feeling the pain that they were gone.

‘You agree with me,’ Jaime said. It was a statement, not a question.

Immediately, Jack was defensive.

‘And what if I do?’

‘Help me.’ She spoke so calmly and casually that her words could have easily been missed, but Jack heard them clear as anything.

What if he did decide to help her?

What Jaime had said had touched something deep within him. Even now, as he sat, his back resting against the dirty wall of a half-destroyed building, looking out over the rain-soaked, dusty warzone outside, he was contemplating the girl’s words.

Life was precious.

Did that mean he was selfish if he chose to waste it?

‘Help you with what?’ he asked cautiously, refusing to agree to anything.
‘Help me change something, Jack.’ She sounded fierce. ‘Stop preaching about how life is such a waste of time, and help me end this fucking war.’

It was like Jack was viewing the world through brand new eyes. Jaime was saying everything he hadn’t believed…or maybe had just refused to believe…for months now. If life was just a journey, like his mother said, it could still be the greatest journey ever. Sometimes, the journey was more important than actually reaching the final destination.

‘Even if we somehow stopped the war, we still couldn’t bring your family back,’ Jack said.

‘You think that’s why I want to end the war?’ Jaime challenged. ‘Because I believe that some fairy’s gonna arrive and grant me three wishes? I’m not stupid, Jack.’

‘Alright,’ he said, holding up his hands in surrender, shocked at her ferocity.

‘I want to end the war for everyone who’s still living; not everyone who’s dead,’ she explained, her voice suddenly much softer. ‘Like I said, life is precious, and for so many people to waste their lives living like you live, that’s the greatest tragedy ever. Just think about it; the day when the guns die down; the day when the bombers come in to land for the last time; the day when the army generals shake hands and make peace. Don’t you want to see it?’

Jack looked into Jaime’s eyes. They were pretty eyes, even if the rest of her didn’t look especially pretty. They were blue; blue like the sky in the height of summer.

He would give anything to lie under a sky like that again.

‘Alright,’ he murmured, his gaze flickering away from her. ‘I’ll do it.’

What Jaime said was true: life was precious. Too precious to waste making other plans. With these thoughts in mind, Jack got up, brushing his tangled hair out of his eyes and looping his hands back round the pockets of his jeans. Pacing across the room to the back wall that had collapsed almost completely, he peered out at the grey, derelict world outside the shop. The rain seemed to have stopped.

And up above, a small crescent of blue sky could be seen trying to push through the dark clouds.