Is This What You Call a Family?

Brian’s P.O.V.

The next morning I found myself sitting tiredly at the kitchen island, a coffee mug cradled in one hand. After storming off from Juliet last night, I spent time with Michelle until she went to bed at midnight. I could tell she thought I was overreacting and just needed to give Juliet time to breathe, but she would never say that to my face with how upset I was. From then I just hadn’t been able to sleep fully. I wanted to call Matt or Zack - any of the guys really – to talk about my worries of Juliet. But I knew, unlike myself, they all were probably actually in deep sleeps for their first full night at home. But of course I got maybe an hour of sleep total.

Now, it’s not like I didn’t try to sleep, it’s not that at all. I finally forced myself to go to bed at two thirty. I laid there until about four thirty when I finally decided to take sleeping medicine. It still didn’t kick in until about seven. At that point I woke up at eight something. I’ve been up for the past three hours and I was tired and wanted to crawl into bed, banging my head on a wall to knock me out. But of course Matt had mentioned all of us getting together around noon for them to see Juliet again. So I had pulled on some torn up blue jeans, a black V-neck, black Nikes, and a black beanie to cover my messy-beyond-belief hair.

I sighed to myself, finally pulling out my phone. I quickly scrolled through my contacts before hitting the ‘call’ button and holding the phone to my ear. After a few rings a voice answered. “What’s up? I figured you’d probably be over by now.”

“I was going to leave in a few, but I needed to talk to you,” I spoke before taking a swig of my coffee. I could hear music being turned down in the background. He was probably listening to some music in his home studio before the rest of us showed up.He had it installed not too long before we went on tour and he was in love with the sound it made. “I figured you’d still be asleep, to be honest. I figured we’d have to wake you up. Like seriously, eleven to meet up when we’re all meeting up at twelve?”

“Simple, I'm too lazy to drive." I shook my head at him even though he couldn't see me. That's Zack for ya. "Besides, I’ve been up for like half an hour,” he replied. I couldn’t see him but I knew he had shrugged as if it were normal for him to be alive so early after returning from tour. It usually wasn’t which showed something was off today. My friend almost seemed to read my mind and sighed. “Okay, so Matt got into an argument with Val over some stupid shit and called me for an opinion on the matter. I told him he was a retard and to go start kissing ass and just couldn’t fall back asleep.”

“That explains it,” I murmured. Matt was a very gentle guy but sometimes his stubbornness got the best of him. That typically created a lot of arguing between himself and his wife, an equally as stubborn woman. But it would be a matter of hours before they made up and were the lovesick puppies they had always been since our teenaged years.

“So what’s up? You don’t usually call me before coming over,” he remarked. I hesitated for a moment which he quickly noticed. “Oh, c’mon man. It’s me; Zack. You know you can tell me anything.”

“I’m worried about Juliet,” I confessed. A ‘huh?’ was my only reply causing me to sigh. “Yesterday we got into a little spat. I went to my room and ended up hearing her scream. I went into her room and she was in only a towel but her neck was cut up and bleeding. I think she might be self-harming.”

Zack was quiet for a moment, thinking over what I had just told him. I anxiously took another sip of my by-now room temperature drink. “What did she say to you?”

“She told me it wasn’t what I thought it was and, I quote, if she ‘wanted to kill herself she would be dead’. I just don’t know what to think,” I groaned.

“Ouch. Tough,” Zack muttered with a click of his tongue. “You’re just to have to believe her man. I mean, it’s kind of dumb, don’t you think? Most self harmers want to hid the scars from people, why would she cut her neck?”

“But Zack, you didn’t see the scratches. What if – ”

“I know, it was probably pretty nasty, but you have nothing else to assume since you don’t have any proof she is. Besides, she screamed. If she’s been doing that on purpose she wouldn’t just scream. Look dude; just relax for now and when we meet up we can talk this over. I know you’re worried but it could be anything.” I heard him begin to talk to someone else before he came back to the phone. “Hey, I got to go. I need to feed the dogs. Hurry up and get over here to give me attention.”

Zack is so needy sometimes. Like, seriously, someone needs to get in a relationship again. It’d been a year since that girl he dated from his clothing brand and three years since he divorced Gena. Given, we were all still good friends and Gena was over for every party we had, but Zack needed someone to spend more time with. “Alright, fine, you weird baby. See you in a bit.”

We gave our goodbyes before hanging up. I stood and slid my phone into my pants’s pocket as I walked to the sink and poured the contents of my mug out. Once I had rinsed the cup out I left it in the sink and headed out of the kitchen with all intent to go upstairs and get Juliet. Just as I was about to begin my way up, Juliet began her descent. She was wearing a scarf today, hiding her scarred neck from view. When she noticed me her eyes narrowed. I could see the faint bags under her eyes and knew she was probably as tired as I was. Looks like we both didn’t get much sleep. That makes me wonder how many days she’s gone without sleep now. Papa had said she slept a lot yesterday but that was it.

“Where’s Michelle?”

“She left about an hour ago to go do errands. Afterwards she was going to visit her sister and parents,” I explained, awkwardly shifting my weight from foot to foot. “I was wondering if you wanted to go to see Zack before we meet up with everyone else at twelve.”

She studied me, probably wondering if she should trust me. I guess her curiosity or something equal to it made up her mind and she nodded. “Fine. When did we need to head out?”

“Now, preferably. We can stop by somewhere so you can get some food if you want.”

“Any Taco Bell on the way?” She inquired, soon trying to cover a yawn with her hand. I raised an eyebrow as I led the way to the door, grabbing my keys off the hook as I did so.

“It’s, like, ten something in the morning."

“So? Tex-Mex food is always good food,” Juliet argued. I just stayed silent, locking the front door before heading to my car. Within fifteen minutes we had stopped to get Juliet her burritos, made it to Zack’s house, and still had five minutes to spare before the agreed upon time. As we walked in a voice greeted us.

“Hey guys,” Zack greeted, grinning ear to ear as he headed from the kitchen. “How are you today Juliet?”

Juliet shrugged in reply, shifting from foot to foot as she stared around the entryway to his house. That was about the time that Ichabod and Majesty ran into the room, Ichabod instantly barking even though he was about three minutes late. The grey Great Dane was happy beyond belief though. She slid to a stop before Juliet and tried to jump on her. She wordlessly shoved her bag into my hands as she kneeled down to pet her.

“Oh shit!” Juliet shouted as Majesty hopped up to put her paws on her shoulders. She got forced to the hardwood floor with an audible ‘thud and the dog leaned down to lick all over her face. She let out a laugh but it was soon cut off as the Great Dane tried to climb on her.

“Majesty!” Zack quickly snapped causing the dog to back off. Juliet let out a soft groan as she rubbed her side. The side her broken ribs were on, fuck.

“Are you okay?” I moved to help her but she held up a hand to stop me. She pushed herself up and to her feet. She wobbled before she was able to regain her footing.

“Fine. I’m going to eat.” Juliet quickly grabbed the bag of burritos back and turned back to Zack. “Where can I eat?”

“Just go through that door and you can sit at the island. Go ahead and drink whatever’s in the fridge. Well, whatever’s legal.” He gave a play smile and wink which Juliet offered a forced smile to before thanking him and heading through the door he had pointed at. Majesty happily followed her while Ichabod stayed by Zack’s feet, seeming to not trust Juliet, which wasn’t surprising to me. He really only trusted Zack, his sister, and her family. Aside from that, Icky wasn’t much of a people person, no matter how cute. Zack cleared his throat, causing me to turn my attention to him again. “Wanna go to the backyard?”

I almost asked him what for but then I remembered his promise to talk. He led the way down the hall to the sliding door at the end of the hall. He let me go out first, shortly followed by Ichabod, before he shut it back. We plopped down at the small, round table that was covered by the awning jutting out from his house. Ichabod curled up on a lawn chair by the pool as both Zack and I pulled out cigarettes and lit them.

After he let out a stream of smoke he spoke. “So what’s this stuff about Juliet you were talking about?”

I sighed, letting my own smoke drift out. I placed my arms on the table before lifting one to pinch the bridge of my nose and rub my forehead. “We ended up getting angry at each other. It started with me and her talking. She was getting upset about talking to me about her mother. I tried to comfort her but she told me she couldn’t do it. I left her to be alone and not much longer she screamed. I went in there and her neck was torn up like she purposely scratched herself. I freaked thinking it was self-harm and she’s not really been talking to me since.”

Zack was silent, staring at the ceiling. I was beginning to get anxious. My leg began to bounce a hundred miles per hour. The expanding silence was beginning to drive me insane. Just as I was about to scream Zack spoke up. “She’s obviously emotionally unstable, a lot like you.”

“I am not – ”

“You never bounce your leg like that. The last time I can even remember seeing that happening was when you were waiting to see if Matt was going to notice you accidentally erased the guitar track that he had been working with you for hours,” Zack interjected. I stared at him silently. How the fuck would he know that? I hadn’t been caught (he instantly assumed Johnny hadn’t hit record) and I was pretty sure he hadn’t even been in the room. A smile broke onto his face. “Brian, I’ve known you since middle school. Obviously I know when you are stressed out.”

“You’re a weirdo Zack,” I murmured for lack of things to say. I knew he was right and I had no comeback for it. Honestly it didn’t even need a comeback but I personally hated making Zack get that stupid, all knowing smirk.

“So anyways, what I meant is that she’s not stable of her emotions and she probably doesn’t mean what she does. She, yes, might have cut herself on purpose. But that could just be her crazily sad emotions talking. At the same time it really could have been an accident and she didn’t know she did it until afterwards. So here’s my advice to you; leave her be. Only interrupt the routine if she gets more. At that time, seek her help. For now, continue like nothing’s changed.”

I studied him for a few moments before finally letting out a slow sigh. “Thank you Zack.”