Is This What You Call a Family?

The next time I woke up I was back in the uncomfortable bed in the too bright room. I slowly let my eyes slide open to brace myself against the light. But this time it didn’t seem so bright. In fact, everything seemed dull. I tried to raise my hands to rub my eyes, but my whole body felt like it was as heavy as bricks, making me not want to make the effort. It took a few moments to realize that at some point while I was knocked out they must have sedated me. That was annoying. What if I had to pee? If I piss myself, I’m raising hell.

My mind halted on my thoughts and I could feel tears burning my eyes. Mom was dead. How could I let that slip my mind? Pissing myself should be my last worry. My mother was dead because of a stupid punk named Marcus. The one person I had in the world was snatched away from me and I couldn't do anything to stop it. This was my fault, wasn't it? I should have convinced her to throw him out a long time ago. It might have fallen on deaf ears, but damn it, I should have tried.

I took a deep breath in through my nose and shut my eyes tightly as I tried to will the tears away. No, I can’t do this right now. I needed to think. What was the next step? Obviously I would have to heal up before they did much of anything. That would take a day or two. At some point I’ll probably have to talk to police and they’ll contact CPS, if they hadn't already. I’d be placed in some foster care or maybe even an orphanage. It’s not like Mom had any family and hell if I know anything about my father. I could barely remember some weird hat but that was about it.

Would they look for him? It couldn't be that difficult of a job for police to do. The hospital I was born in would probably have my birth certificate somewhere in their files, right? Maybe. The only ideas I had to run off of were detective shows and those weren't very honest with how things worked. Who fucking knows then. I took another deep breath but it didn't really seem to help. I was basically alone in the world and the more I was left with that thought, the sicker I felt.

I really hope I didn't puke all over myself. I’d rather take pee.

At that moment I heard the door open. I snapped my eyes open to see an unfamiliar man entering the room. He had to be somewhere in his thirties with a smile on his face. He was dressed in a suit and held a briefcase in his hand. Why the fuck is he smiling? I was in a hospital, in pain, and just lost my mother. Was smiling really necessary? If he expected a smile back he was fucking crazy.

"Hello, Juliet. My name is Eric Mathers. I am from Child Protective Services and I will be your caseworker. I’m very sorry for your loss." That’s when his smile fell and he offered me what I assumed to be a sympathetic look. Well you can take that sorry and shove it up your ass, sir. It burned on the tip of my tongue but I kept my mouth shut and simply stared at him. I refused to give him the satisfaction of a response.

My quietness seemed to unnerve him since he coughed into his fist and shifted his weight between his feet uncomfortably. "I'm here to talk to you about what we’re currently doing and what’s going to happen once you’re well enough to get checked out."

As Eric Mathers began to ramble, I spent my time trying to work my body. As I worked at my toes, I caught a snippet of him telling me how they are going to try to find my father. Score one, Juliet. Mathers, zero. Once I got my toes moving I tried my fingers. Caught another bit about ‘few days until you can get out’. Damn, I’m on a roll. That’s two for me. As I tested out my neck I was thrown for a loop.

"In case we're unable to get a hold of your father right away, we’re going to try to get in contact with your grandfather."

"Wait, what?" I coughed a bit, my throat raw and dry from the who-knows-how-many hours of disuse. Points to Eric Mathers for actually deciding to swoop forward with a cup of water for me. He helped me sip it down since my arms were still sluggish. Once I had my fill, he placed the cup back on the small table next to me and patiently waited for me to rephrase my question. "My grandfather? I have a grandfather?"

"Yes. He’s your father’s father. From what I’m told, he lives within an hour’s time of here. Maybe less," Eric Mathers informed with a slight shrug. This stunned the hell out of me. I had never met Mom’s parents. Her father passed away when she was a toddler and her mother moved to Australia, her home country, when I was a baby. And, because of my mom’s life choices, she decided to not keep up with us anymore.

Soon enough Eric Mathers was leaving with the promise of returning tomorrow or the day after. By then my limbs were more functional but I didn't really have any interest of getting up or doing anything. I casually glimpsed at the medical equipment around me and hooked up to me. Naturally, the only things I really understood was the heart monitor and the IV that was more than likely pumping some kind of concoction of medications into my bloodstream. Probably some kind of painkiller and whatever else was dubbed useful for my recovery.

About the time I was ready to cry from boredom was when a nurse came into the room. She looked to be in about her mid-twenties with ginger hair. She smiled at me when she noticed I was awake and practically skipped into the room. I raised an eyebrow as she swooped up the clipboard hanging from the end of my bed. She was quite literally humming to herself as she skimmed over the words on the papers.

"My name is Ruth and I’m going to be your nurse while you’re here," she finally introduced as she returned the clipboard and smiled broadly at me. "I heard you gave Dr. Starling a scare yesterday. I’m honestly surprised you were able to get all the way across the hospital on a sprained ankle. Much less the two broken ribs."

"Wait, yesterday?" I repeated with a look of bewilderment.

Ruth nodded. "The shock mixed with the heavy medication you've been receiving put you into a small, medical induced coma. It’s now nine thirty-two AM on Wednesday. So, roughly, sixteen hours worth of sleep. You were definitely in need of it."

How can she say this all so nonchalantly? I was in a fucking coma for sixteen hours. How is any of this normal? Instead of speaking up about this being bothersome, I decided to skip the entire topic. "How long am I going to be stuck in here?"

"Well seeing as how you've spent a lot of time sleeping and healing much faster by not moving, the doc guesses you should be fine to leave within thirty-six hours. I’m personally not expecting you to leave until Friday afternoon, but I've been wrong before," Ruth answered with a slight shrug. It was silent for a beat before she clapped her hands. "Alright, you need to use the restroom or anything before we go?"

"Go where?" I questioned, my eyebrows shooting up to wordlessly express my confusion by her words. She just said I couldn't leave until, like, Friday.

"We’re going down the the cafeteria to get you some food. The food they serve up here sucks and you deserve a nice feast after getting knocked out for so long."

"Are we even allowed to?"

"I’m with you and we’re staying in the hospital. It’ll be fine. Now c’mon, I know you’re hungry." As if on cue, my stomach let out a loud growl. She grinned widely and I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, alright. I need to pee and I want pants."

"No problem!" Ruth helped ease me off the bed, instructing me to grasp the IV pole and help use that to support my body to walk. She handed me a pair of jeans that I’m pretty sure did not belong to me. I guess it did now. It took a few minutes, but I managed to shimmy into the skinnies without any assistance. I wonder if she guessed my preference or if she just assumed this is what kids wore nowadays. Either way, she wouldn't be wrong.

As soon as I opened the bathroom door, Ruth was beside me in seconds. This time she didn't insist on having me lean on her while I walked. She allowed me to only use the IV pole as means of support. It wasn't until we were outside my room and heading down the hall at my turtle pace that she spoke again. "So what do you have a craving for?"

"Anything, really. I’m starving," I complained. A thought occurred to me making me frown at the ground I had been glancing at to make sure I didn't face plant on anything. "But I just realized I don’t have money for this."

"Don’t worry," Ruth quickly spoke with a slight laugh. "The hospital gives vouchers for this and they pay for the food you eat."

"What about this hospital stay itself? I don’t have insurance anyway," I pointed out as the idea finally hit me. I don’t have any kind of medical coverage on anything. Hell, I’d be working off the ambulance ride and painkillers for years alone.

"CPS is currently footing the bill. When they find someone in your family they’ll see if they have insurance and will cut it down for them accordingly."

"What if they can’t find anyone in my family?"

Ruth scowled at me as we waited in front of the elevator doors. "You can’t think like that. They will find someone for you. I know it."

"Well, hypothetically, if they don’t, who pays for it?"

"If they don’t - which I highly doubted they won’t so you need to get rid of that thought right now - you’ll be a warden of the state and therefore the state of California will pay it."

"See? Was that so hard?" I teased as a small ding sounded and the elevator doors opened. Ruth gave me a playful glare before ushering me in first. Once I was settled on a wall, she pressed the ‘1’ button and hummed to herself as the doors began to shut. I decided to let it stay in a comfortable enough silence for the time being. I didn't really have anything to talk about and Ruth seemed content enough to hum for a while.

Once the doors finally opened again, Ruth politely asked for a few nurses to step out of the way so I could waddle out. Luckily no one seemed too annoyed with my inconveniencing, in fact they gave me friendly smiles when I passed them. Once we were clear of them, Ruth stood beside me as she pointed out directions. Soon enough we were in a large room filled with many different food suppliers. There were basic cafeteria lines, but there was also a Subway, McDonald’s, and Chick-fil-A.

"Are any of these even considered healthy?" I questioned as we began to trek towards the side of the room so I could decide where to go.

"Subway’s fine enough. The other two big names are more for visiting families," Ruth explained. "Though if you want either, that’s fine. I’ll make an exception."

"Nah, Subway does sound really good." Like, so good my mouth is practically about to water. She smiled broadly, apparently happen I was deciding not to clog my arteries, before leading me over to the line. After a few minutes, we were situated at a table near a corner with my foot long currently being devoured. I didn’t realize how hungry I actually was until I had started ordering. I was fucking starving. Ruth was still humming beside me, periodically tapping on her cell phone. I tilted my head to the side while chewing to see her on a Facebook app. She caught my eye and I ducked my head, feeling my face heat up. I heard a chuckle making me look back up as I swallowed.

"It’s fine, Juliet. I wanted to show you this video of this weird cat anyway," Ruth spoke as she pressed on a play button and turned the screen towards me. I chuckled as it forced itself into a case for sodas and had only it’s tail sticking out.

"Why do you have something like that on there anyway?" I mused before I took another bite of my sandwich. Wait, the first half was already gone? Alright.

"My friend is obsessed with cats and dogs, really just any animal, so if she finds a funny video or cute picture, she’ll share it," Ruth explained.

"So what do you share?"

"Nothing mostly," Ruth responded with a short shrug. She locked her phone before sliding it into one of the pockets on the side of her leg. "I don’t do too much besides work. Sometimes I’ll post pictures of me outside of work to prove I actually go do stuff, but it’s not too often. I mostly just keep my profile to keep up with people."

"Ah." Since I had a lack of things to say, I turned my attention back to my sandwich.

"What do you share?" Ruth teased as I chewed my bite. I shook my head as I swallowed the food. Her eyebrows shot up with a look of surprise on her face. "You don’t use your profile at all?"

"I don’t have anything to get on Facebook with, so I don’t have a profile," I spoke with a shrug. Her eyes grew wide and I blushed, bashfully staring at what was left of my sandwich. "My mom and I didn't own a computer and her cellphone was some cheap TracFone that was hardly used."

"Well, I’m sure once they find your dad, all that’s gonna change," Ruth spoke brightly as she grinned at me. I simply nodded, not wanting to damper her mood. I was really doubting they would find him or he would even want me. I hadn't seem him since I was a toddler and he probably had a whole new family. He wouldn't want me. But that was fine.

I’ll just take care of myself.