Waves

That night the wind beat hard on the shores near Miami. The bridge that I stood overlooked a wide rushing river. My face was soaked with rain and tears. This was the way to end it. Carefully I climbed the railings. The only thing holding me was my arm laced around a metal pole. I was scared of living. Lacey, I thought, I'll be with you soon. I leaned forward and heard a scream. Lacey? I heard it get closer.

"Stop," I heard Tristan yell. He was in a thin shirt and sweat pants, but was soaked by the rain. I wished he'd go home. I didn't want him to see this. "Clary don't do it."

"I have to," I croaked. He shook his head and stepped closer. "Dont come any closer!" I yelled.

"Listen to me," he said, "you can get through this. I know you can. I'll help you. Please just come back down."

"I can't escape from him," I cried.

"Yes you can," he argued.

"There's nothing left. My sister is gone, my mom," I yelled into the river, "and soon me."

"Think of your father," he said panicked. He looked torn and I hated myself for making him feel that way. "Think of me. I love you Clary. I loved you enough for you to be my first," he said. What? That's not true. Those girls, what were they then? Then I remembered him saying he was jealous. I gasped as I felt him grab my legs and pull me backwards. I was thrown on him and he held me tightly. I struggled and struggled, but there was no escape. A part of me was relieved.

"Clary, ever since I saw you I loved you. I loved the way you talked back to me and made me go crazy. I've always loved everything about you," he said in my ear.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. I let him pull me up and hold me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I said over and over again. He rubbed my back and soothed me with comforting words. He walked me to the Impala and placed me in the passengers seat. Once inside he wrapped me in blankets and we left.

"I'll get your car in the morning," he stated, driving in the harsh rain. I would be lucky if I didn't get sick.

"What did you mean by first?" I asked after awhile. He glanced at me with that same torn expression. It didn't make sense.

"When we made love earlier it was my first time," he mumbled. I looked at him in shock. No, fucking, way. "Those girls where just to try and make you jealous. Eventually they figured out that I didn't want sex from them. Being the whores they were, they spread rumors about me."

"Oh," I said. He was a virgin and I took that away.

"You aren't mad are you?" he asked.

"No. I'm not mad, just, um, surprised," I said. "You should've said you were."

"It's embarrassing," he stated, "just forget I mentioned it."

"No," I said looking at him, "pull over." He did and just looked at me confused. I unbuckled and moved to his lap. I wrapped him in the blankets and rested on his wet chest. I let my hands play with his wet hair and kissed him. He gave in and wrapped his hands around me inside the blankets.

"It's means a lot to me," I said against his lips, "you really do loved me."

"It took you till now to realize that," he said kissing my neck.

"Almost jumping off a bridge really changes a girl," I laughed. He chuckled.

"I know it hurts. I know you pretend to smile and be happy,," he said pulling away and being serious. I lowered my gaze. He saw threw my mask.

"Tristan," I said looking into his grey blue eyes, "I know I can't hide anything from you. It makes me feel vulnerable. The way you can unravel me terrifies me, but the reason I'm so scared is because I'm already scared to face what's in front of me. I'm scared of what I'm really feeling deep down inside."

"Don't worry," he said kissing my forehead, "I'll help you face those fears." Despite my protest to just sleep in the car, Tristan drove home. He let me use the shower first. I let the hot water run along my body and then sneezed. I was definitely catching a cold. I turned the water off and changed into one of Tristan's shirts and a pair of his boxers for shorts. I walked back to the couch and wrapped myself in more blanks. I sneezed a little more.

"You caught a cold, didn't you?" Tristan said. He wore a pair of loose boxers and no shirt. I maraleved at his muscled chest and smooth skin, remembering how it felt. I heard him chuckle. Oops. I'd been caught ogling him. "See something you like?" he teased.

"Maybe," I said slyly. I stretched, allowing the shirt to show my stomach and hips. I looked over and saw his hungry look. "See something you like?" I smirked. He stood over me and gave a sly half smile.

"Lots," he said. He kissed me, forcing me to lean against the back of the couch. I giggled as he moved to my neck. He was such a smartass, but he was my smartass.