Safe Haven

I didn't think of myself as easily swayed, unless it was Patrick Kirch doing the convincing. In fact, I was quite difficult when it came to certain things: Fletcher, Seattle, being an open communicator... The list went on and on.

Yet, somehow Ray managed to be the exception to that ignorance. She had me reconsidering my thoughts every time she asked for a favor, or brought up a suggestion for the shop. I simply couldn't say no to the girl without feeling incredibly guilty for whatever reason.

Whether it was those watery blue eyes or that charming smile she managed to use to her advantage on whomever, I wasn't quite sure. All I knew was that she had that kind of effect on me – on everyone who she thought was worth her while.

So when she asked me to join her and Elise for a girls’ night out in the bars of Tempe, it was nearly second nature for me to say "yes" to her without thoroughly thinking anything through. It was only after she walked away that I realized what I'd agreed to, and it came too late for her, seeing as that she'd already walked away to ring up Elise and announce that their party of three had come to a full circle.

And after staring blankly at my closet for the longest time in deliberation of what to wear, and eventually having my mother come to pull me out of the feeling of being completely and utterly lost and helpless, I found myself seated at a college bar just off campus of Arizona State with Elise and Ray. Strangely enough, I found myself actually enjoying their company despite the overcrowding, the drunken stupidity surrounding and the two year age difference between me and Elise.

I sipped idly on my water bottle as Elise used her fake ID and her low cut shirt to get boys to buy her drinks. Ray had managed to find someone she obviously thought was worth her time, because she went to flirt with him and had only returned twice to grab a sip of beer and to make sure we weren’t pissed that she was basically bailing on the two of us.

“Why aren’t you drinking?” Elise suddenly asked as we turned our attentions away from Ray who had managed to hook us up with another round of tequila shots from her obviously interested college boy. “I’ve heard stories about the infamous Watson ability to hold well over their own weight in alcohol…”

Sebastian was especially good at being able to drink a lot and still wake up on time for school, early Sunday morning mass that our mother once dragged us to or his eight o’ clock Chemistry class without a hangover despite the amount of alcohol consumed. It was a gift, it really was, and I owed it to him for teaching me his tricks.

“I don’t drink anymore.”

“Why’s that?”

I shifted in the booth we were seated in and looked out to the crowd before answering her question. “I guess I wanted to be known for something other than being able to hold myself together while drinking.”

She nodded before tossing back her drink. “You know, you might have gone to school with my sister…”

I looked to her, mildly curious at the sudden topic of our conversation. “I’m sorry, I never caught your last name.”

“Bradley,” Elise stated. “My sister’s about the same age you are…”

Noel Bradley. I was sitting across from Noel fucking Bradley’s baby sister.

I nearly choked on my last gulp of water. “As in Noel Bradley?” I asked. “As in Halvo’s girlfriend?” I asked just to clarify that my gut feeling was right.

She nodded with a bright smile. “You do know each other, then! You know, I think I heard her mention you a few times. Weren’t you dating John O’Callaghan back then?”

I nodded suddenly unsure of Elise. The new information had me lost and doubting everything with her. Did she know? Had Noel confided in her, of all people? This was too nerve-wracking for me, but I had an impulse to know more about the girl who I once had been fairly close with. With our long-term boyfriends being practically brothers, it was impossible not to get to know each other. “Is she back for the summer?”

“She’s still in New York; she’s a little ahead of schedule on the fashion degree she used to talk about. She’s started her own fashion line, and unbelievably, it’s becoming successful. Her newest career keeps her up there, though,” Elise stated, flipping her blonde hair away from her face.

She looked nothing like her sister, but then again it was hard to tell with how different their styles were. Noel had been known for being a bit more daring, and I wasn’t even sure if I’d ever seen her natural hair color. It changed from a plain brown to pretty lavender to a deep red and then she’d gone back to brown with bold highlights of blonde the last few months I’d seen her.

“Are she and Halvo still…?”

Elise leaned back with a humorless laugh. “They’re on-and-off. I mean, my family knows that they love each other, they just can’t get it through their heads that distance and time apart isn’t a bad thing for the two of them. When he’s on tour, she’s working, so it’s not like she feels all that lonely with all that distraction.”

I nodded and was about to press more, but a slightly more than buzzed Ray slid into the booth with not just the smitten boy, but a group of males that all looked more than happy to see the two of us.

And within minutes I somehow managed to be pinched between two boys who looked like they were definitely on the varsity football team on campus. To say I was uncomfortable was a massive understatement.

Everything seemed to blur. Ray was off flirting in her own little world, occasionally joking with one of the other males that had joined our table just to keep them included considering that I was less than sociable with them, and Elise was getting tipsier and tipsier by the second.

“I’m going to go buy myself a drink,” I mumbled before squeezing myself out of the booth and wandering toward the bar with pseudo-confident strides. I flashed a tired smile at the bartender when he acknowledged me and asked for a water before taking a seat on a nearby stool.

I glanced down the countertop before taking in the unfamiliar faces, searching to see if there was anyone that I knew lingering.

“Not drinking, Mar-mar?” a familiar voice asked, sending tension into every muscle in my body.

Travis Donovan. There was no denying that he had feelings for me – even in the very beginning of our high school years together, even when I had a boyfriend. He seemed to always be the first to know when John and I were taking a short break from each other.

He always managed to make me feel uncomfortable, a motive enough to avoid him as much as I could.

Swiveling on my chair, I turned to face him. “Nope, not tonight.”

He looked the same as he always had. Dark blonde hair sat messily atop his head, he still had that muscle tone that football practice and training had rewarded him with and he still had that cocky grin plastered across his face.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets, grin never fading. “I heard that you and John aren’t together anymore…” It was a hint, a not so subtle one that he obviously wanted me to pick up on.

“Then you’ve heard correctly,” I stated as the bartender set my water on the counter behind me. “Nice seeing you Travis. I should probably get back to my friends…” Standing, I began walking toward the table, but I didn’t get too far.

A hand gripped my wrist, flaring every muscle within my right arm. The tension set in and the sudden feeling of being trapped clouded my mind.

Travis hadn’t meant to be menacing, but the pressure of his fingers around the small bones in my wrist made me feel like he meant it.

“Everyone was wrong about you,” he stated.

“What?” My heart beat was slowly starting to accelerate and my focus was centered more on the way he was keeping me near him than what he was saying. I brought my eyes up to meet his, taking in the anger that was trapped in his hazel irises, as if this last rejection had been enough for him.

“Everyone’s been saying that you’ve changed since you’ve been back. You haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Travis.” I tried to sound confident, but my words came out shaking and confused.

With a simple motion, he managed to pull me a good step closer to him, to make sure that I could hear every word he had to say. “You’re still the same snobby bitch who can’t give anyone the time of day, aren’t you?” he asked, obviously pissed off by my lack of interest in him and obviously a little drunk. “You still think you’re better than everyone else in this god damn town-”

I didn’t get to hear the rest. Suddenly, I was pulled back by my shoulder.

Through my racing heartbeat and the feeling of being physically sick, I couldn’t comprehend what was going on.

John was there, I knew that much. He was standing in front of me in the middle of a confrontation with Travis as he always was with him. He always had been protective of me – and any other person he cared about – which was why Sebastian always liked him.

Ray was suddenly beside me, her hand on my shoulder as she asked me what was going on.

I couldn’t answer. I felt like I was on the verge of having another panic attack.

My lungs felt like they weren’t getting enough air, not with all the other people around me, sucking in the same stale air that I was. My hands were clenching and unclenching and my heartbeat was roaring in my ears.

I realized that I was actually going to have another panic attack as their voices and the music playing in the background started to swell.

“Marlow? Marlow? What happened?”

“I need to get out of here,” I managed to get out before rushing outside.

As soon as the door opened, I felt ten times better. The cool night air crowded out the hot and polluted air that had occupied the inside of the scummy bar.

I found myself sitting on the curb, resting my head in my hands as I edged away from the uncontrollable tears and mini-heart attack.

Ray followed after me. “Are you okay?”

“Just give me a minute,” I stated, not opening my eyes and not wanting to face her concern just yet.

Surprisingly, she listened and took a seat cautiously beside me, waiting until I gathered my wits to be able to face her questions. “Are you okay?” she asked again, suddenly sober.

I nodded. “Minor panic attack,” I admitted, feeling that she deserved some sort of explanation.

Ariel looked like she didn’t know what to say. “I’ll take you home now, okay? Just let me call a cab-”

“No, I’ll take you home,” John said, stepping out of the bar as Ray fumbled for her cell phone. He was furious. I could tell by the way his hands clenched at his sides to the way the muscles along his jaw were tensed.

Ray stared between the two of us, taking in the shaking of my knees and the way John was slowly forcing himself to calm down. “Marlow?”

I felt sick.

Sick about the way John’s eyes told me that he was a little more than concerned about me and that everything screamed that he wanted to talk to me. Sick about sudden predicament I’d landed in. Sick about being man-handled by Travis fucking Donovan.

“It’s okay,” I mumbled out, unsure why the words fell out when I didn’t want to go with him. Maybe because I felt like I owed him for defending me despite our less than pleasant ending.

That was the explanation I forced myself to believe as I allowed him to help me up and guide me silently toward his car: that I owed him.

And I guess I really did.