I Know It's Hurting You, But It's Killing Me

Matt;
Those words that I heard from Brian's mouth hurt. Lately I've realized that everything he says or does hurts. I don't even think I want to be with him now. I cleared my throat and he whipped around to face me.

"You... You left me for Zack?" I asked with hurt in my voice. I wanted to cry.

"Matt it's not like that." Brian said and tried to get up to be sympathetic.

"No Brian, it is like that. You fucking used me. You're sick." I spat and gave him a glare from hell.

He tried to walk toward me and I backed away, leaning up against my black car. "I... Fuck you! You fucking hurt me when you left me the first time! I didn't leave my house for weeks. I became even more of a drunk, I tried every drug under the sun. I fucked so many different people. You fucked me up so bad. I wanted to die the whole entire two years. You fucking killed me inside."

I watched his face fall and tears spring to his brown eyes. "Don't even cry." I snapped and glared a little.

"Matt, I just thought-"

"Maybe you shouldn't have thought, Brian. You never thought before about anything before. But the one time you did you ended up ruining my life."

"Matt let me fucking talk!" he yelled and I just looked at him.

"I left you because I needed to get away and I knew that if I told you I wanted to leave then you wouldn't. You would bitch and moan about it and convince me to have sex with you and then I would have stayed. I'm not happy here."

"If you're not fucking happy then just leave. Get the fuck out and go. You don't want to talk to me, then don't. Don't step foot in anywhere you think I could be." I said and got in my car. "Go back to your bitch." I said and drove off.
_
Brian;
I stood there for a second and felt droplets of rain hit my skin as I walked to find my vehicle. I couldn't believe he had heard me and he had done all of those things when I left. That wasn't something that I had expected to come out of me leaving. But I had to go when I did or I knew I wouldn't ever get away. Matt didn't understand it though. He never ever would.

I drove along, thinking to myself. Time to leave again. Matt said it was right for me to do so I was going too. I was starting to hope it fucked up his life again. 'No you fucking don't.' I thought to myself. 'Part of you still loves him.'

"And that part of me can go get fucked!" I said aloud and sighed very audible again. "This fucking day has gone to shit." I said and looked around. Fuck Matt, he didn't own this town. I was going to get drunk and do what I wanted. I wondered why I was changing my mind so much.

I pulled into Johnny's, where I was going to meet Zacky, JC and Arin. I also had an idea. That Arin kid who hangs with us now is into me. I think I'll make Matt jealous since a very familiar black car was parked at the other side of the lot. It wasn't the right thing, or even the mature thing to be doing right now but I didn't care.

I walked into the bar and Matt just glared as everyone else I had planned to meet greeted me. I hugged Arin, grabbing his ass and squeezing it lightly as I looked at Matt, who had turned to ignore me. Time to step it up a few notches. And I knew exactly how..