Never Lost a War

It starts, as many stories about boys in college do, with too much beer on a Friday night.

Alex is complaining about why the four of them are drinking in his and Jack's stupidly small dorm room, instead of at one of the sorority houses because hello, hot drunk girls, which then turns into Alex, Zack, and Rian sort-of-bragging about all of the girls they've slept with and swapping stories about certain hook-ups they're particularly proud of.

After Zack informs them all that he fucked a girl in his chem class backstage at the performing arts center when there was a performance going on onstage, they all give up with their dirty stories because that definitely tops everything else. Soon after, Alex starts whining again about not getting laid like it's the worst possible thing that could happen to him.

Jack doesn't follow conversations well when he's sober, because he's prone to being a little ADHD, and when he's drunk it's worse, because he doesn't follow what's coming out of his own mouth very well, either.

And that's when he starts saying things he can't take back, like that it's ridiculous that they all care so much about sex, because really, what the fuck ever, he's nineteen, he gets enough love from his right hand as the next person and sex just seems like so much work, all of the flirting and the bullshit and Jack is just not patient enough for that.

It's all a little pathetic and whiny and Jack doesn't think it's exactly the same thing as a drunken confession, but apparently it is because Zack's eyes get all big. "You're a--" He starts, and he doesn't have to finish because Rian does it for him, "Virgin?" He says virgin like dying cancer patient?

Jack blinks a few times. "Did I say that?"

Rian rolls his eyes. "You might as well have," he says.

Jack furrows his eyebrows at all of them, completely failing to look as threatening as he wants to as he says, "Yeah, yeah I am. Fine."

At this, Zack finally starts laughing. "Oh my god, you're really a virgin? Are you saving yourself for marriage? Do you have a promise ring? How adorable," he says in between giggles, and Jack just glares at him.

Alex just looks confused. "But.. how?" he says, and he looks... kind of devastated, actually, like he sees it as a terrible crime against humanity that Jack's never gotten laid, which is a little flattering, at least.

Rian laughs at Alex, patting him on the back. "It's Jack, dude. Would you really want to put up with all of-" he gestures to the entirety of Jack, "that just to hit it?" At this, Alex turns a rather furious shade of red, which doesn't make any sense but Jack's too drunk to read into it.

"But- what about- What about Ellie, you guys dated for almost all of last semester, I figured you guys had...?" Alex says, and he seems to be trying to compose himself but he still looks a little like someone just kicked his puppy or called his mom a whore.

Jack shrugs. "Second base, more or less; flirted with third... But never hit it home, no."

Zack nods. "Yup. Buddy, the more you say, the more I wonder how I missed it. I just can't believe you basically told us," he chuckles. "None of the girls here good enough for you or something?"

Jack frowns. "I'm not allowed to have standards?"

They all laugh this time, even Alex, who at least seems to be making an attempt to hide it which Jack appreciates.

"Not until you've lost it," Rian says, like he's explaining something to a small child. Zack is still giggling.

Jack rolls his eyes. "You know what? Fuck you guys. If you've all got such a problem with me being a virgin, I'll lose it to some stupid girl right now, tonight." he says, and three pairs of eyes fall on him.

Zack raises an eyebrow. "It's not that easy, though."

Jack sighs. "Why the fuck not?" he says.

"Because it generally takes time," says Zack, like this is the most obvious thing in the universe. "That, and your skinny ass isn't generally what chicks are interested in. Or guys. I'm not trying to discriminate." He clicks his tongue thoughtfully. "I bet I could have a serious girlfriend before you even manage to lose it."

"Is that actually a bet or is that just you being an asshole?" Jack raises an eyebrow.

Zack laughs, then shrugs his shoulders. "Sure, it's a bet. Your v-card has to be worth something, so let's make it a hundred bucks." Rian laughs, and Alex just keeps looking down.

"Deal," Jack says, because he really doesn't care and he's sick of his friends being assholes, so. What the fuck ever. He'll lose it, and then he'll forget about it. "But how do we know you'll be serious with this girl?"

Zack yawns. "I'll write you a paper on all the useless facts I know about her or something and you can give it to her to confirm it," he says, and that sounds good enough to Jack. Zack hates useless facts.

Alex looks at Jack, uneasy again. "Are you sure about this?"

Jack rolls his eyes. "I'm not a delicate fucking flower because I've never gotten laid before, Lex," he says, and Alex just sighs.

And that's how it begins, with a stupid bet, but the month that follows it is what makes the story worth telling.