Dumb and Fearless

My phone buzzed for the umpteenth time in the past hour, and I gritted my teeth together in an attempt to keep my sanity. Irritation filled my entire being with every second the phone didn't quiet itself, and I just lost it. I whipped it out of my pocket without bothering to check the number and pressed the talk button a bit too viciously. I was too annoyed to really care, though.

"What?" I demanded, running my free hand over my face and leaning back against my desk chair. The apartment was still and silent around me, and my outburst seemed to have shattered the peacefulness which I had been working in. I heard an intake of breath on the other end of the phone, and I tapped my finger against the desk impatiently.

"Are you okay?" Kennedy asked, sounding confused and apologetic all at once. Remorse consumed me as my temper flared down, and I sighed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. My phone's just been ringing off the hook, and I've been trying to get some work done, and I didn't realize it was you," I explained apologetically. Kennedy paused, and I knew he was trying to avoid provoking me into a further rage. I also knew that his curiosity and brotherly concern had to be killing him.

"When did you get so popular?" he inquired jokingly, and I rolled my eyes. He always managed to find a way to try to pry without seeming like he was interrogating me.

"Who knows," I responded unenthusiastically, my foot pushing against the floor and moving my chair in slow circles. My eyes focused in on the photographs hanging on the wall, and I attempted to relax a bit.

"Somebody should have warned all of these callers that you aren't a people person," he teased, and I actually smiled a little bit.

"Would have saved me some time, and you a burst eardrum," I agreed, and I could just see him smirking in the back of my mind.

"You do yell pretty loud when you're annoyed," he pointed out, and I sighed again, raising my thumb to my lip. I gnawed lightly at it for a few moments, and Kennedy didn't say anything. I knew he was giving me my time and a chance to tell him about what was bothering me in my own way, and I appreciated it.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I mean, here you are calling me probably to hang out or do something nice, and I bite your head off..."

"You're right," he said sternly. "Here I am, an innocent, caring best friend, and what does it get me? Yelled at."

"I'm sorry," I repeated, but he cut me off.

"I mean, usually I have to actually do something stupid and obnoxious to get you to use that tone. And now, even when I'm a guiltless bystander who just wanted to get some food, what do I get? Yelled at."

"I get it," I said abruptly, shaking my head even though he couldn't see it. "I apologize. Again."

"Okay," he said dramatically and I rolled my eyes. "I forgive you."

"I'm so so thankful that you have forgiven me. However could I have lived with upsetting you?" I asked sarcastically, and I could hear him muffling a laugh.

"See? This is exactly the type of thing these people should see. You're such a sarcastic little punk, D."

"Thanks," I said chipperly, and he laughed more.

"I'm just glad I wasn't really on the receiving end of your temper. I pity the poor soul," he teased, and I bit my lip.

"I wasn't that mad," I protested. "I was just annoyed."

"Uh huh," Kennedy said, sounding unconvinced.

I let out another frustrated sigh and nibbled some more on my nail, trying to straighten out my head and my feelings. Eventually, I gave in. I felt like if I didn't say anything soon, I was going to explode.

"It's just," I started, staring up at the ceiling. "John has been calling like every other minute. I swear, he worries way too much."

"What is he worried about?" Kennedy asked, and I mentally cursed myself as I heard the tone of concern entering his voice as well. I should have known better than to mention that to him; he would just worry too.

"Nothing," I said quickly, pinching he bridge of my nose. "I've just been working on finishing up some files for work, and he had to go into the label. He just felt bad about leaving earlier 'cause he's still convinced I'm not feeling well."

"Oh yeah, Mia said something about it when she was over with Jared," Kennedy said calmly, and I raised my eyebrows.

"You guys were talking about me?" I asked, a light note in my tone. Kennedy coughed and was quick to jump to an explanation.

"Well, no, Mia just was concerned about your health and we... and yeah... You know, have I mentioned how much I love what you're doing with your hair these days?"

I couldn't control it. At that very moment I barked out a laugh so loud the people five floors above me in the apartment complex probably heard it. I gripped my stomach with the hand not holding the phone as my body shook with uncontrollable giggles. Kennedy was completely and utterly silent, which made me laugh all the harder.

I finally gained control of myself right after tears formed in my eyes. I wiped at them and gasped for breath, and Kennedy still said nothing. I was partially worried he had hung up until I heard him sigh.

"Are you going to be alright over there, or should I call an ambulance?" he asked sarcastically, and I my smile dug deeper into my cheeks.

"I think I'll make it," I assured him, swinging my legs over one of the arms of the desk chair.

"Oh, joy," he said, not sounding the least bit joyful.

"You love me," I informed him, and I could just see him shaking his head. "You know you do."

"I have no clue why," he added defensively, and I smirked.

"It's my striking personality," I answered quickly, and he let out a small laugh.

"You mean your impossible personality?"

"Same difference," I waved off with a scoff. "I really forgot how much fun you are when you're trying to dig yourself out of a hole. Lately, I've been the one fucking up, and I've forgotten how hilarious you can be."

"Never thought I'd hear that come out of your mouth, Daisy."

"What is it with you and my name lately?" I snapped, and he chuckled.

"I'm feeling nostalgic, so sue me," he sassed back.

"I know," I murmured, running a hand over my face. "It's weird how things have worked out, huh?"

"Yeah," he paused for a moment. "Hey, D?"

"What's up, K?" I asked, waiting patiently for him to put his thoughts into words. I played with a string on the hem of my shirt, knowing whatever he was saying probably wasn't easy for him.

"I really am happy for you and John. I know it hasn't always seemed like it, but I am. I know John loves you, and I have no doubt you love him. I'm glad you're happy, because you deserve it," he said softly.

Maybe it was just the hormones, but I felt tears welling up in my eyes. My throat constricted and I sniffled a bit, blinking up at the ceiling as a soft smile worked its way up my face. Kennedy was and always would be my family, blood or not. And as much as I hated to admit it sometimes, his opinion mattered the most to me.

"Thank you, Kenny," I said thickly, swallowing hard. "It really means a lot to me."

"Are you... crying?" he asked, sounding startled.

"No," I lied, wiping at my eyes.

"Uh huh. Are you sure everything is okay?" he asked worriedly, and I nodded before realizing he couldn't see it.

"Yeah," I assured him. Everything is fine. It's just been a rough few days with work and everything."

"If you need anything, you can tell me," he reminded me kindly, and I felt a surge of safety. I felt the warmth of the family I'd been missing flood back over me.

"I know." And I really did.

"Okay."

"Okay."

"I'm going to swing by with some Chinese. Is that alright?"

"Like you even have to ask!" I exclaimed, laughing a little bit. "I love you, Kennedy."

"I love you too, Shayla. I'll be there in ten with the food."

And I swear, sweeter words had never been spoken by Kennedy Brock.