I'm Low on Gas and I Need a Jacket

Years passed since I've seen Tony or any of his friends, but that was okay. Once we graduated from high school, we both went our separate ways, and started our own lives. Yes, I kinda had a feeling we weren't going to last. And yes, I wish we did. But Pierce the Veil needed it's big break, and i wasn't going to be in the way of that.

~ Day of Their Departure~
Me and Tony were chilling at Fuentes' house, along with Jaime. It was the day after me,Tony, Jaime, and Mike graduated, Vic finished a two years before us. Me and Tony were sitting on the couch, his arm around me. Mike sat on the floor playing cards with himself and yelling at the fact that the Jack was missing. Vic was sitting on the stairs laughing his ass off because he took the Jack, and Jaime was sitting in the chair eating Cheetos.
"Vic, seriously. Where'd the fucking Jack go!" exclaimed Mike.
"Seriously I don't know, ask Jaime."
I turned to Jaime out of curiosity and he was watching a Cheetos in his fingers, with intensity.
I said,"Hey, Jaime whatcha doin?"
He shushed me,"This cheeto...it speaks to me..."
"Oh yeah," Tony joined in,"What's it say?"
"I says...stop eating my brothers, take me instead."
"He's not the boss of you!" I said.
"Yeah, show em who's boss. Tony said.
"I WILL!" and Jaime ate it.
We were all laughing, and I stopped. Something hit me. I looked down. I turned to Tony,"I need some air." and I left.
I walked to the side of their house and sunk down, and thought. I want him to be happy, and I want them to progress. They're too good to be a garage band, and I can't help but feel...feel like I'm holding them back.
I knew Tony, and I knew he wouldn't do anything or go anywhere that meant leaving me...oh God. Oh my God.
Tears were falling hard from my eyes. I'd have to end it. The thought of it, was horrible, I started to sob.
I heard someone's footsteps,"Danni, Danniel are you back here?" it was Tony. I sniffed,wiped my eyes with my sleeve and cleared my throat,"Um, yeah. Yeah, back here." I stood up. He hugged me so tightly and warm. I couldn't do this, but I had to. For him. All I wanted was for him to be happy.
"Are you okay? You're over thinking again, I can tell because your not talking." he said, he looked me in the eyes,"You're not okay. What's wrong?"
"Tony...I...I, fuck.." I got a headache, from hiding my sobs. I put my hands in my hoodie,"Tony I...," I looked down. He held my face up.
"No, you can tell me."
"No, I can't Tony." my voice breaking. It became hard to breathe in this moment,"I can't...wait.." I took deep breathes.
"Tony, I...um, have noticed that you and the band are really really good. And I have also noticed that um...," I bite my lip,"you guys aren't progressing, and...I can't help but think, I'm in the way of-"
"No you're not. We're just taking a break for a while,"
"It's been a long while, I just want you to be happy, Tony."
"I am happy. I'm happy with you."
"Please, Tony. Don't tell me that, this is hard enough already, because I'm hurting you I don't want to do this-"
"So why are you doing it?" I couldn't hold it anymore. I was about to sink again but he caught me.
"You see this, I caught you. I'd always do that when you fall."
"I know you would, Tony. I love you, I love you so much. That's why I'm doing this, I want you, out of everything, to happy. I want to see you successful. Your band needs to be known-"
"But why can't you stay my girlfriend while this happens?"
I took me a while to start again. I stood up, and grabbed his hand,"Because, I know you too well. You wont do anything or go anywhere if that means leaving me. So I'm doing it. I'm...leaving you, so you won't have to leave me."
The thing that I feared the most of seeing, broke me just like that. His face was, so sad, so let down. I had to hug him.
"Tony, I'm sorry I'm so sorry. I don't want to do this, but I want to see you progress. I'm sorry," I parted from him,"Just know that I still love you."
He looked at me, and didn't respond. He walked into the house, and I walked back to mine.
The way his looked when he looked at me, haunted me.
Just like that, we were done
End~

Each day, for six years, I have thought about That break up. I've thought undoing it, and I've beat myself up for it. My body can tell you just how bad I felt. I've tried to call Tony but he wouldn't answer. I don't blame him, I wouldn't have either.
But in those six years, I've beat myself up, I've attended a tattooing school(yeah, I didn't know they had a school for that either). Once school ended, my mom and dad helped me buy a livable apartment in California. A week after I settled, I went to the tattoo parlor and nailed a job. My very first client was a tall guy who obviously didn't care what went on his body. He had an adorable smile and a long scar in the middle of his chest.