Take This to Your Grave

I was unsure of how to really respond to Pete's words. I didn't want to say something stupid and completely embarrass myself, so I kept quiet. Pete's steady breathing made my ears flutter and listen to each inhale and exhale; I was lost in my head. I tried to come up with something to turn his head around like he had turn mine. I couldn't find the right words, nothing beautiful or deep like his own.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

I opened my mouth; the rain began to fall hard, the clouds swelled, darkened with impending lightening and thunder. "I'm all mixed up."

A small laugh elicited the air, "Sorry."

"You put me in such a tough spot and I think you do it on purpose." I smiled.

"I think I'm suppose to."

"You're doing a wonderful job."

We were quiet again; the clouds broke with a crack of thunder, but we didn't flinch. It was as if we were expecting it; it felt like we were expecting something.

Pete's mouth parted, it took a few seconds for him to say; "I don't think I've ever wanted anything or anyone as much as I want you."

"Am I forbidden fruit?" I asked with a girlish, cutesy giggle.

He shook his head, "No...you turn me on, and not in a sexual way. You make my head fuzzy...you make me feel like I'm living in a dream..." He paused. "You're refreshing...you make me feel like I'm constantly at home...I'm comfortable with you."

"You make me feel like I have to throw up all the time," I blurted. "In a good way."

He smiled, eyes wrinkled at the sides, "That, too."

The thunder clapped, my heart jumped at the sound. The world felt at ease, the feelings were all over the place, but I felt comfortable. I looked at Pete with regret, "I have to get home. If I don't, my dad'll call Kate."

Pete nodded, "I'll drop you off a block away."

I didn't speak as he started the car and began to drive. The ride was silent, except the puttering of the rain hitting the car. Once we got near my house, he slowed to a stop and I was hesitant to get out. I bit my lip, wishing I had something clever to say. Something to make him falter and think as he usually done to me.

Pete looked at me expectantly, wondering if I would bolt or say something. I didn't do either, I just sat and looked at him. Finally, he leaned over the seat and quickly came face to face with me; our noses brushing before he eventually pressed his lips to mine. My heart swelled, my eyes stung as I shut them; I was going to cry and I didn't understand why. I let the tears fall and rub against his cheeks; he pulled back suddenly, "Shit, what did I do?" He asked panicky.

I shook my head, sniffling, "Nothing, I promise."

He looked at me skeptically, "Then, why are you crying?"

I shrugged, "I don't know."

Pete looked at me worriedly, "What's wrong, Naomi?"

"I..." I shook my head out of frustration, "I'm not sure."

Pete leaned back in and we kissed, my heart thumping away, my eyes blinked away the empty tears from my lashes. We parted before it got intense, which had been climbing with the sound of thunder. Pete rubbed away the tears off my cheeks and pecked my lips, "You should get going before he starts looking for you."

I nodded reluctantly, and put my hand on the door; I exhaled and opened it. I hurried out, shutting it behind me as I ran down to my house. I saw Pete drive away once I was on the porch. I went inside, hearing my dad and Amy laugh on the couch; I shut the door and announced my arrival; "Hey!" My dad said after, "Amy made some tacos."

I took off my coat, hung it on the rack and went over, slipping my sneakers off, "I'm not hungry."

Amy looked at me intently, "Are you alright, Naomi? You looked flushed."

I touched my cheeks and nodded, "Yeah, it was cold out there."

"Did you walk home?" My dad looked at me with a frown.

"No, Kate gave me a ride." I rubbed my eyes. "Hey, dad, I got to do something for Babette tomorrow after school."

"What is this something?"

"For her makeup job."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Uh, I don't know. She's gonna pick me up and then she'll drop me off."

He exhaled, "Alright, Naomi."

I smiled, "You can ask tomorrow when she picks me up."

"I will."

I shook my head, "I know."


Going to bed that night left me with a good feeling in my head and gut. I had smiled, my fingers throbbed under the casting, but it didn't matter to me. I was thinking intently and happy about Pete.

My full thought was that this could happen. He and I could actually be together if we wanted to. That's the only thing that mattered to me; nothing else.

I fell asleep so very happy that waking up wasn't so bad. I got through my morning almost in a daze of happiness and then I said goodbye to my dad. Kate picked me up and was looking at me funny; "Did you hit your head?"

I furrowed my brow, "No."

"You look like a fuckin' goofy idiot." She muttered with a laugh.

I shrugged, unsure of how to explain myself to Kate. "Pete and I talked last night."

"About?" She questioned with a smirk.

"He told me that..." I stopped when I realized I never told Kate all about our relationship. "That...uh, since I'll be 17 soon, I can legally be with anyone I wanted to."

"Ah-ha!" She exclaimed excitedly, "You fucked him!"

"No I didn't!" I shouted back.

Kate shook her head, giggling, "Then you two are something, right? Have you kissed him?"

I bit at the corner of my bottom lip, "Yeah."

Kate squealed, "Oh my God! Naomi!"

"What?!"

She grinned at me, "This is so cute. You guys are like made for each other."

"That's what everyone says to their friends when they find out their crush."

"No," she said pointedly, "Really. Like, you guys click, it's weird. Kind of like twins, ya'know what I mean?"

"No."

"You guys are connected. Maybe you two were lovers in a past life."

I rolled my eyes, "Stop it, Katy."

"Honest to God, you and Pete were molded and created for each other."

I licked over my lips, "If you say so."

"So, you guys are gonna start dating now?"

"Maybe." I replied. "I don't know...Pete's still with that crazy bitch."

"It'll all be over soon," she cooed, "I can see it."

"I hope so."

We pulled up at school, the clouds thick with rain; "What're you gonna tell Seth?"

I sucked in a breath, "I don't know."

"Are you gonna lie or tell him the truth?"

I tweaked my lips, "I...I think I should lie."

Kate laughed, "Oh geez. What'll you say?"

"That..." I trailed, "I have no clue. I like him, but I don't like him like that."

"Then tell him that." She quipped. "I don't think lying would work here."

"Yeah...I should just tell him I don't want a boyfriend."

"You don't want him for a boyfriend." Kate added with a smirked.

"Yeah." I smirked back.

Kate and I got out the car and went inside; the sky opened up and let rain pour. It was as if God was giving me a sign; a bad one and it freaked me out. I don't know why then I had felt so nervous, but I did. It wasn't Seth, it was something else. I swallowed and followed Kate to our lockers; my hand slipped under my shirt and I touched my broken heart. I smiled, despite the nerves, and thought about Pete and what he must be doing; he was more than likely in one of his classes or sleeping.


At lunch, everyone was jammed into the cafeteria and under the roof over the benches. It was jammed packed, so it seemed as if I was lost amongst a sea of people I didn't know. I found Kate, but was quickly lost again; I could barely eat. And then, Seth found me; "Follow me. We're in the gym."

I looked around and saw Derek and Eric talking with Jenna and Shannon. They were off buying food, and didn't assume anything out of the ordinary. I put my hood up and carried my sandwich and chips under my arm and jogged over to the hall with Seth. We stopped out jog and exhaled; the rain came down so hard, the thunder sounded like a car crash. "We can eat in the gym?" I asked as we walked down the empty halls.

"Yeah, but don't tell anyone." He said with a small laugh.

We entered the gym with another small jog; it was completely empty; "Well, if this isn't just creepy." I joked.

"C'mon, let's sit."

We sat on the bottom bench; I went and bought a soda from the machine just outside the door. I actually waited a bit to see if the others would hurry. I looked to my watch; there wasn't much time left, so I returned. Seth sat back, supporting his back on the second tier of the bench; "Where is everyone? Is the line jammed?" I asked him.

Seth sat up, "Probably. I told them to meet us here."

I twisted the cap off my soda and sat down, ready to eat; "Fuck etiquette, I'm hungry."

Seth smiled at me and we began to eat; we talked a bit, and no one showed. Also, the thunder was getting louder and that ominous feeling was creeping up on me. "I hate thunder." I mumbled.

"Really? A tough girl like you?" Seth spoke cheekily.

"I'm not invincible, you know."

"I'm kidding," he grinned.

"I don't know sometimes," I narrowed my eyes playfully, "You're voice is always deceiving."

Seth scooted closer to me, "I'm always kidding around."

I felt slightly uncomfortable about how close he got. I opened my mouth and was ready to ask, but he swept in and pressed his lips to mine hard. My bottle and food fell to the floor and I groaned in protest, pushing him away with my right hand; "Hey! Don't do that!"

Seth looked amused, "C'mon, Naomi, you were asking for it."

I shot up, "Asking for it?!"

He laughed, "Yeah, with the way you're always flirting with me."

I looked at him incredulously, "Are you out of your fucking mind? I was not flirting with you! I don't even like you, not anymore!" I tried to make light of the situation to ease the tense, "I really don't like you now that you made me waste my damn sandwich!"

Seth shot up and came over to me; his food fell too; "Quit fucking around with me."

"Fuck you." I spat, "I'm so out of here, you're a fuckin' jerk off."

I turned to leave, but Seth grabbed me and spun me around harshly, I almost fell. He grabbed my right arm and my left wrist, wrenching it behind my back while I cried out; "Let go! My hand!"

Seth went to speak, but the bell rang; I hadn't ever thought I would be so happy to hear that bell. Seth let me go, his eyes narrowed into slits with a death glare; "You say anything, it'll be worse."

I couldn't take my eyes off of him, but I managed to scramble away. I left the gym, leaving my coat, and ran out into the rain; kids were filing in and out. I ran as fast as I could, slipping and tripping along the way to the girls' room.