Take This to Your Grave

My dad had come home and found me on the couch; my fever had broken and I was in a dreamless sleep. He made me eat soup before he took me to the mall to get some shoes and a watch. Amy had given him the old pair of shoes, and I had to learn how to step in them carefully. I felt so tall in them.

Walking around was a lot of work; not just from the shoes. I had practically buried myself in clothes before leaving the house. I made sure that my neck and wrist were covered, too, so I wouldn't arouse suspicion. I was protecting myself from embarrassment and the thought of Seth. Protecting him hurt most of all because he didn't need it, but at the same time if I did tell anyone, would anyone believe me?

My dad sure as hell wouldn't. Just take a look at the lies I've told. He wouldn't believe me, he would think I was into something degrading to get myself off. He would probably think I was a slut or something. He would think that Pete did it and I was blaming Seth.

No one would believe me.

I made sure that all of it was covered so I wouldn't say a word. I hated to lie, lying got me into this mess. I just wanted to get back to my life, some of the normalcy I had. I thought about moving back with my mom; how would that be? Still, I loved my dad so much and I didn't think my mom would want me back anyway.

Inside the mall, I adverted as much attention from myself as much possible. I had seen Alicia and Jenna, so I hid my face. As we entered this jewelry store, where I could get a waterproof Casio watch, I saw Seth. My heart flew into my throat; he was right outside the store, and I hid my face.

"Hey," my dad nudged me, "Look who it is."

"Dad," I said shortly, "C'mon, I don't want to talk to anyone, I look like hell." I spoke humorously.

My dad chuckled, "Alright, I won't let your boyfriend see you all sick." He kidded.

His joke made me sick.

"He is not my boyfriend." I spat.

"I was kidding, Naomi." My dad said softly.

I kept my eyes adverted as we went to the cases. I looked over the watches and picked out a dark blue one. It wasn't fancy, so it was inexpensive. I tried to mull as much time in the store as I could to make sure Seth was gone by the time we left. I wasn't so lucky; he was standing right outside the door when we exited.

I stayed back as he greeted us, especially when he grinned, "Hey Mr. V." His eyes scanned over to me, "Hey Naomi.

His voice was so sinister; I wanted to throw up. I felt my face grow hot and my hands grow sweaty. I shook slightly, "Hey." I managed to say.

"Hello Seth." My dad said kindly.

"I missed you at school," Seth's eyes trained on me. "Where were you?"

My jaw slacked. I couldn't speak.

My dad spoke for me, "Naomi got sick. She was soaking wet yesterday," my dad explained, "Her watch got ruined, so I'm buying her a new one. Kind of an early birthday present."

I couldn't not look at Seth; my eyes bore at him; my mind screaming. At the top of my lungs I wanted to scream at him and hit him. I wanted to tell him how disgusted and dirty I felt because of him touching me. I couldn't and I didn't, I was a coward.

"I could've given you a ride, you know," he smiled; that psychotic, sociopathic grin of his. "What happened?"

"I got sick during lunch." I mumbled. "I was in the nurses' office all afternoon."

"Sorry to hear that."

Seth was a monster. He was so good at hiding his evil, you couldn't even tell. I couldn't believe that this was actually happening to me.

"I'm fine." I said shortly and then looked up at my dad, "Can we go, dad? I'm not feeling too well."

My dad hummed and put his arm around my shoulder; "It was good seeing you Seth."

"You too, Mr. V." Seth's eyes were back on me, "I look forward to seeing you at school, Naomi. Feel better."

His slimy hand came up and patted my arm; I didn't flinch out of force of habit to numb myself. Seth waved and left, and then me and my dad headed towards the shoe store; "I know what I want," I said to my dad, "It'll be quick."

"We can come another time." My dad offered.

"No, I'm...I want to get this over with."

He nodded and followed my lead. I quickly pointed out the Nikes I wanted, and waited for the worker to get them for me. I sat down with my dad, waiting; "Try your watch on," he urged.

I didn't want to because I knew he'd see the bruise. I scrambled to come up with something; faking a smile, I giggled, "Close your eyes so I can surprise you." I told him.

He chuckled, "Alright."

My dad closed his eyes, I moved sideways, opened the clear box and took my watch out. I pulled my sleeve up and saw that the bruise was bigger and darker; black, purple and yellow. I sighed softly and strapped it on; I knew I would lie to him again if he saw it.

I pulled the sleeve down to cover just the edge of the bruise that showed; "Okay," I said with faux cheeriness, "Look."

My dad met me as I turned my wrist around. He smiled, "Looks nice, kid."

"Thanks," I said dropping my hand discreetly. "I can't wait to take my cast off."

"Doc said middle of November. Just take care if it."

"I am."

The salesman returned with the shoes and I quickly tried them on. I was more than happy that they fit; my dad paid and I wore them out. As we exited, we passed the MAC Makeup store, and I saw Babette; she grinned and came rushing out, "Naomi! Do you feel better?"

I nodded, tightening the black scarf around my neck, "Yes. Thanks."

"Do you," she looked unsure of how to ask what she wanted. Her eyes maneuvered from me to my dad. "Would you mind if I used you?"

I looked to my dad, who shrugged, "Uh...okay."

My dad cleared his throat a bit, "Are you going to stay? Have Babette drop you off?"

Babette nodded vigorously, "I'll drop her off, Mr. Valentino."

"Okay. As long as Naomi wants to stay."

I needed to, to make it up to Babette. "Yeah, it's fine, dad."

He gave a warm smile, "Keep warm, alright?"

I nodded, "I will."

He kissed my head, said goodbye and left; Babette ushered me into the store, and to her corner. She sat me down, "How are you?"

"I'm okay, B."

"I sent Pete over...I hope it was okay." She said with a slight wince.

"It was alright." I replied, "But, ya'know, nothing happened."

Babette looked a bit shocked, "I...um, Naomi...I'm sorry. It's just, you looked so different yesterday."

"I was soaked," I said with a laugh, "How would you feel?"

She giggled, "I'd be pissed."

"Yeah, well, I just wanted to get home."

Babette pushed my hair back, "As long as you're alright, Naomi."

"I am." I assured happily.

Babette hummed and began to clear my face and started to do the makeup. A few minutes into it, her boss showed up; "You are real."

The man was very flamboyant, dressed in pastel colors. I smiled shyly as he got close to me; "Hello." I said.

"Bobby, this is Naomi Valentino." Babette introduced up, "Naomi, this is Bobby Kilmer, my boss."

Bobby shook my hand, "It's nice to meet you. You're so beautiful, I thought Babette was makin' you up."

"I'm as real as they come," I said nervously, "And, I'm not as beautiful as Babette makes me. She's a miracle worker."

Bobby frowned, "Don't sell yourself so short, Naomi. You're gorgeous! Do you model?"

I shook my head, "N-no. I'm...I'm no model."

"You should be," Bobby went on, "I know some folks. Do you mind if I show them some shots of you?"

I felt panicked, "I'm not a model. I don't know how."

"No one knows how, honey, it's just about being pretty. You should do it, you get paid big bucks. What I would do for those eyes and lips."

I blinked rapidly at him, "Um...I..." I felt stuck; my head spun. "Thank you?"

Bobby smiled and patted my arm, "I'll talk to some of my friends and see what I can do."

"You don't have to, Mr. Vilmer."

He waved his hand off at me, "Call me Bobby. And I want to do this because you should not contain all of this beauty in Chicago."

My lips twitched; Bobby patted my arm again and headed off. Babette grinned at me as she began to work on my face again, "I told ya, Naomi, you're fuckin' beautiful. Do you want to model? I mean, I could get Bobby to knock it off."

I shrugged my left shoulder, "I don't know. I've...I've never had anyone think I was beautiful...like a model before."

"You are, Naomi. As Bobby said, don't sell yourself so short."

Bobby and Babette both saying I was beautiful made me feel two things; confidence and a surge of uncomfortable emotions. It was because I was attractive that I attracted a guy like Seth. I never had much confidence, and I liked that nice settling feeling of being sure of myself. But all of it seemed like it was working against me; I shouldn't be this good looking -as crazy as it all sounds. I didn't like it, but I did -I was all mixed up.

I tried not to think about it; I let Babette finish up, show Bobby. He took polaroids of me and then Babette took me home. It was all more than I could handle and I felt like bursting at the seams.

"Babette," I said as she took an exit on the freeway, "I really need to talk to you."

"Hmm? What about?" She asked causally.

"You were right." I spat out, "I...I feel sick to my stomach and I need to tell someone."

Babette took a quick look at me, "I was right about what?"

"You can't tell anyone, especially Pete and not my dad."

Babette slowed once we got off, and looked at me, "What happened?" She asked softly, cautiously.

I swallowed, "Promise me."

"I promise you, Naomi." Her voice was real soft.

I licked over my lips, "Yesterday...I...um..." I felt sick, "Yesterday, that guy...Seth, ya'know, he, uh...he kissed me."

Babette's lips turned down, her eyes focused on the road. She didn't speak until she pulled into a fast food parking lot. She parked and turned the car off, "He kissed you?"

"Yes."

"But that's not all." She added. "Right?"

I looked down at my lap, "He...he didn't rape me, B."

Babette blinked, "What'd he do then? Just kiss you?"

I started to cry, "It wasn't bad, I mean I don't think...I...he touched me, Babette. He put his arm around my neck and he--" the tears ran down my face. The words came out strung together; "He put his hands...I begged him to stop and I couldn't breathe--"

I was cut off by Babette hugging me over the center console. She hugged me and hushed me; "It's alright, Naomi. It's okay."

"I can't tell anyone. No one will believe me." I sobbed.

"Yes they will. I believe you," Babette let me do and held my forearms, "You have to tell, that little fucker needs to be arrested. He assaulted you."

I began to shake my head and tell my theories to Babette. She listened and of course, she had protested. She told me I should tell, but I refused.

"I won't tell," Babette said, "But that doesn't mean I think you should keep this to yourself. At least tell your old man."

"Babette, he won't believe me." I swallowed, "I told you because I know you'll keep this secret."

She sighed, "Yeah, I will."

"Don't tell Pete."

"I won't." She promised.

"Thank you."

Babette frowned, but didn't say anything more. She drove me home, stopping me on my way out, "Take this," she handed me a small can of pepper spray, "Spray that son of a bitch if he tries that shit again."

I smiled, "Thank you, B."

"You're welcome."

I got out, putting the can into the pocket of my coat and went inside. I put on a brave face and left my scarf on. I was still not going to explain those bruises to my dad.