Take This to Your Grave

I was set in the guidance counselor's office while they called my dad. He arrived 15 minutes after I was caught; he was outside the door talking to the principal. After a while, they came in; "You're suspended." Was said.

"I don't care." I spat.

"Come with me." My dad said icily.

I followed him and I stopped when I saw Seth; his eyes were red and puffy. I narrowed my eyes and him, looked around and found a heavy Biology book on the receptionist desk, picked it up and hauled it at him. Again, chaos ensued and I was screaming while my dad grabbed me.

I wasn't sure if I hit him or not.

I was taken outside where I started to cry and scream because I was so angry. I was being punished for defending myself; I had screamed this in sobs to everyone around. I didn't make sense, I sounded like a crazy person.

My dad carried me to the truck and shoved me in. I was still crying, sobbing saying that I was cheated. I was being treated like a criminal when I wasn't. My dad shook me by my arms, "You maced him!" He shouted over me.

"You don't know what he did to me!" I screamed back, "He choked me!"

My dad looked me over, his eyes scanning my face and then my neck. My eyes shut tight as I cried and kept repeating that he tried to kill me. He held my arms still; for a long time, too, just looking at me. Then, he released me and asked, "What did he do?"

I couldn't speak.

"What did he do?" he repeated sharply.

"Forget it." I muttered as I wiped my face.

With a shake of his head, he said, "No. What did he do?"

I sniffed, "It's embarrassing."

"What did he do?" He repeated, yet again, sternly.

I swallowed; I had to tell now. "He...took me into the gym, put me in a goddamn chokehold and shoved his hands in my pants and up my shirt. That's what he did."

"When? Today?" His voice was hard.

"No! Last Monday." I answered. "When I was late getting home. That's what happened, okay? That's what happened to me, because I led him on. Because I was a tease."

My dad didn't say anything. Nothing at all. He just drove. Silent, stoic, eyes forward. I felt like a fool. My dad didn't believe me, I could see the look in his eye.

Once we got home, he didn't utter a word, he just helped me inside. I went upstairs, locked my bedroom door and dropped everything. I dove under my covers and hid, praying that I would spontaneously combust and die.

I only fell asleep.

I fell asleep for a few hours before I heard the door bell ring. It was dark out, and I wondered if my dad was home. I got up, kicking off my jeans and pulled on pajama bottoms. I left my bedroom and began to make my way downstairs; doing so, I heard a familiar voice. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard Seth's slimy fucking voice.

Mr. I'm-So-Fucking-Innocent.

"...She's been seeing that Pete Wentz guy. I told her that she shouldn't, that's why she's angry. He gave her some bruises--"

I flew down the stairs, "Pete did not hurt me!" I screamed, shoving him towards the front door, "You did! You choked me in the gym and put your disgusting hand in my pants! Pete only beat you up!"

My dad wrapped his arms around my middle and pulled me back, "Calm down--"

"No!" I screamed and kicked. "He molested me and you're telling me to calm down?!"

"I didn't do anything!" Seth shouted at me. "I only tried to give you advice, Naomi! You had him beat me up!"

Rage overrode me; "Are you fucking kidding me?! You son of a bitch! I'll kill you!"

I struggled in my dad's bear like embrace; "Amy! Help me!"

Amy took me from my dad and held me back. I couldn't believe my eyes; my dad walked Seth outside, and my world exploded. I crumbled in her arms and sobbed; I felt violated all over again.

I shoved Amy's hand off me, "Get off!"

"Naomi, don't--"

"I'm not going to do anything!" I shot back.

I ran back upstairs to my room, slamming the door as hard as I could. I leaned against it, my heart was nearly beating out of my skin; I slid down the door, as if it were some dramatic move and sat on the floor. I pulled my knees up and cried; I buried my face into my thighs and cried until I I couldn't anymore.

"Naomi," my dad's voice floated through the door, "Open the door."

"Fuck off." I spat out.

"Open it now." He ordered.

My body shook, I reluctantly stood and pulled open the door, "What do you want?"

My dad looked pissed. "What the fuck is going on here? What did I say about Pete? Why did you do that?"

"Pete has nothing to do with this!" I snapped, "Seth is a fucking liar! He touched me! Pete was only defending me!"

My dad's brow furrowed, "Do you know how hard that is to believe?"

My jaw slacked, "Are you serious? You believe him and not me?"

"You've been lying to me a lot lately," he stated, "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Because I'm your daughter and that fucking animal is a psychotic son of a bitch that you don't know!"

"He's defending himself--"

"Fuck you! Fuck all of you!" I screamed. "Go ahead and believe him, see if I care! Just know I hate you and I'm out of here in 9 days!"

He looked at me with confusion, "You're only going to be 17--"

"In Illinois you can legally live on your own at 17!" I informed him in a tight, angry voice. "Midnight, October 21st, I'm out of here! So, I won't have to lie about my life anymore, since that's all I seem to be doing."

My dad just stared at me, "Naomi, you need to calm down."

My fist balled, "Don't talk to me anymore. I'm through with trying to defend myself. Even my mom would've believed me, no matter how much of a slut she thought I was, she would've at least took my side."

I shut the door in his face, ignoring whatever he was saying. I crawled back into my bed and pulled the blankets over my head. I pulled a pillow over my face and screamed into it.

I couldn't even think, I was so furious. I didn't cry, I just screamed until I had fallen asleep again.


My dad and Amy were gone the next morning. I was glad too; I got dressed and left. I went to Pete's, I wanted to be near him, even if he was at school, I'd wait outside for him. He was all that I had left; him, Babette and Kate. I needed to see him.

It took awhile to get to his apartment; it was way past the park and businesses. It started to rain half way there and I was soaked by the time I arrived. I was relieved to see his car parked out front; I went to his apartment block, to his door and knocked. I started to shiver when I had stopped; I could hear music playing, but not excessively. Finally, the door opened, and Pete stood there, a billow of smoke followed out after him, immediately pulling me in and said; "You're soaking wet!"

"I walked here." My teeth chattered.

His eyes were hazy, but alert now; "Follow me."

My feet slushed as I walked, and Pete led me into his bedroom. He shut the door and ordered me to take my clothes off, "I'll get you somethin'."

I did as he said, stripping down to my underwear; I set my wet clothes in a pile on the floor. Pete returned to me, handing me a towel, telling me to dry off. I obeyed his every word; I dressed in the t-shirt, sweats and socks he gave me. He looked me over, and then unzipped his hoodie and handed it to me, "It's warm."

"Thanks." I murmured as I put it on; my body warmed up, feeling comfort.

Pete scratched his head, "What's wrong? Why're you here?"

"It's a long story." I said.

"I've got time."

"Do you have anything hot to drink? I'm still kind of cold."

Pete nodded, "Yeah, c'mon."

I followed him to his small kitchen; it was a bit messy, as usual. I sat on the counter and watched Pete begin to make hot chocolate with milk. "It isn't expired, is it?" I joked.

"Andy just bought it." He answered; he wasn't amused.

I looked down at the linoleum floor. Pete returned to me as the microwave buzzed to heat the milk; "What happened?"

"I told my dad and he didn't believe me." I said shortly.

"Are you serious?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes." My throat grew tight, "He didn't believe me when I told him."

Pete sighed sadly, "I'm so sorry, Naomi."

I shook my head, still in disbelief about the whole thing; "I told him everything and then Seth came over."

I began to tell Pete what had happened. About macing Seth, being suspended for two weeks, and then when Seth came over. Pete took my hands in his, squeezing my palms gently; I finished talking, and I felt like blubbering, "I don't know what to do."

"Talk to your dad."

I shook my head, "No way. Not after he just blatantly took Seth's side."

"You're gonna have to talk to him sometime."

"Yeah, well, not soon. I told him I was moving out. I was leaving." I rubbed my eyes, "I shouldn't've of said that...I have nowhere to go and I have nothing." I sighed, "I need think things through before I say them."

"I know what you mean." He pushed my hair back, "You can stay here. I don't sleep much anyway, you can sleep in my bed."

I rolled my eyes, "Oh, my dad would love that."

"It's your choice, Navy. I'm not forcing you to do anything."

"I don't want to go home right now, Pete."

Pete gave a nod, "Whatever you want, Naomi."