Take This to Your Grave

I waited before asking anything. We laid on his bed, on our backs, looking at the ceiling. Pete's hand was resting on his stomach and both of my arms were tucked under my head. I turned my head to the left and looked at him; "How'd you do it?" I asked.

"Slit my wrist." He answered, "Submerged myself in the tub. My dad found me."

I sat up then, "Let me see."

He put out his left arm and I grabbed it; you could barely make out the vertical lines on the inside of his arm. There were others that were small, about an inch long. I traced my finger over them; his skin, the scars were soft, smooth.

"I'm so sorry." I murmured to him.

"It was a long time ago." He shrugged.

I let go of his hand and rolled closer to him, lying right on my stomach. "Promise me you won't do it again."

He looked at me, "I wouldn't, Naomi. I promise."

I leaned up and kissed his lips quickly, just a small peck. I rested my head against his chest; "Can I ask what she did to you?"

"She used me...to make her boyfriend jealous. She took my virginity, ya'know."

I grimaced, "Really?"

He hummed, "For three years, she just toyed with me..." He trailed. "I had a feeling something wasn't right, because she was a cheerleader, I was some fucked up goth kid."

We grew quiet, and after a while he continued, "She cheated on me, she talked down to me. I don't even know why I loved her...she just tore me apart."

"I'm sorry." I repeated in a whisper.

"Thanks." He grumbled. Pete went on, "Whenever Jana sees me, she always makes a point that I was hung up over her...she calls me a pathetic puppy."

I looked up at him, "Want me to kick her ass?"

He laughed, smiling broadly, "No, Naomi."

"Why not? She bigger'n me?"

He shook his head, "You've been in too many scraps lately."

I smiled at him, "Okay. But, if I ever hear her talking shit about you, I will not hesitate to bash her face in."

Pete laughed and pulled me into a hug. I rolled on top of him and giggled. He gripped me into a hug and kissed me.

It was almost too unimaginable that we began to kiss heatedly. My arms were trapped against his chest, his arms still around me; our kiss got deeper, our tongues meshed and a wave of arousal crashed in side of me. I put my legs on either side of him, straddling him; his hands loosened and ran up my back. I arched my back and let out a groan.

His hands found the hooks of my bra and that when I stopped him. I broke out kiss, leaving Pete with swollen lips and shiny Chapstick from me. He gave me a frustrated look; I swallowed, "Kate's pregnant."

He furrowed his brows, "Yeah, so?"

I got off of him and laid beside him, "I don't think I can do this."

Pete was quiet for a moment. "Sorry."

"We're friends anyway, remember?" I said this painfully, hiding it as much as I could.

He didn't reply right away, "Yeah."

"Sorry about this." I mumbled.

Pete rolled onto his side to look at me, "Then what was that whole touch me thing a few weeks back?"

I shut my eyes, blushing manically, "I wanted to get Seth's touch off of me. I wanted you."

"Well, I want you too." He murmured. "Not just to have sex either...we can wait or whatever. I just want you, Navy."

"So...what? Are we...um, dating?"

Pete shrugged, "I dunno. I don't want your dad to be ticked off at you."

I frowned, "So, we're just gonna be friends?"

Pete gave a nod, "I think that's the best."

I huffed and rolled back to the head of his bed. I looked over at his bedside table and saw the catalog and his lotion. My eyes widened, I blushed again and then I burst into laughter, "Oh my God!"

Pete sat up and looked at me, "What?"

I grabbed the catalog and lotion, "I was joking when I said you could jerk off to my picture. Fucking pervert."

Pete blushed, and turned away. I put the catalog and lotion back; "Did you really?" I asked him with another laugh.

Pete looked back at me with that grin; "Maybe."

"Oh my God, you really, actually did?" I grimaced mockingly, "Perv!"

Pete just laughed, "I didn't, Naomi."

I cocked a brow at him, "I don't believe you."

"I didn't," he smiled, "I swear."

I didn't believe him, "Uh-huh."

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"Nope."

Pete shrugged, "Whatever."

I bit at my lip, "For real, Pete...did you?"

He looked at me, "You really wanna know?"

"Yes."

He let out a small laugh, "I did."

I shoved him playfully, "Ew!"

"I couldn't help myself." He laughed it off.

"Wow, you..." I was speechless, "Should I feel flattered?"

"I think so." He was amused with the thing.

"Still a pervert."

"Yeah, so what?"


Saturday afternoon, I went with Kate to find Eric. She was finally going to tell him; she had yet to tell her parents. She was real quiet throughout the drive; after awhile she spoke up, "I think he might be at the arcade."

"Are you sure you don't want to wait until he's at home?"

"No." Kate muttered. "I have the guts now. I'm gonna tell my parents when we get back."

I only nodded to her words, and stayed quiet. I had wondered why she had brought me along; I did not ask. Deciding to clear her mind, I began to tell her about Pete; "He wants to just be friends." I told her.

"Why?" Her attention, her attitude was back in an instant. "That jackass!"

I giggled, "Look, I wasn't expecting it to be any different."

Kate tweaked her lips, "Okay, fine. Why not go out with that Ricky guy?"

"Ricky's a pothead, my dad would kill me."

"His friend, Bilvy or whatever, why not him?"

"I've never met him." I bit at my lip, "I'll call him later and maybe we'll hang out."

Kate smirked at me, "Are you a pothead now, too, Nay?"

"No." I muttered. "It's nice every once and awhile, but I couldn't stay high all day. Like Pete, ya'know, he takes fistfuls of pills."

"I know." Kate nodded. "After that girl, Jana or whatever dumped him. I was there through that; I barely found out that he tried to kill himself."

"Who told you?" I asked.

"Jana was telling everybody," Kate muttered, "Didn't you hear it?"

"No. When?" I questioned, completely caught off guard.

"At the party. I think you were taking him to his car," Kate informed me, "I really thought you heard it."

"No." I bit at my lip, "That girl is a bitch."

"Of course she is!" She scoffed, "She's a fuckin' attention seeker, but no one cared, those were most of Pete's friends, they all knew."

I shook my head, "Poor Pete."

"If any boy did me like she did Pete, I would take pills too. Pete loved her."

I felt sick, my heart felt like it sunk to the bottom of my gut. I frowned and began to wonder if Pete was alright, really.

"I don't want him to kill himself, Katy. Like, accidentally, ya'know what I mean? But, what he does isn't any of my business."

"I think you're the only one who can curve him." She spoke insightfully, "Turn him right around."

"You think so?" She gave a positive hum. "I'll try and do something for him...I just don't know what."

"You'll figure it out. You're good at this stuff." She smiled warmly at me; I knew that she meant that truly.

"I only want to help my friends."

"Thanks, Naomi. I don't think I would be able to do this without you."

"No problem."

Kate and I grew quiet; the ride to the mall was shortened by the time we had stopped talking anyway. She parked, we got out and faced the blowing wind; I had shoved my hands into my coat, my fingers scraped against something cool and metal. I instantly remember my chain and pulled it out. "I need to fix this." I told her as we entered the mall.

She gave a small, nervous sigh, "I'll...go to the arcade. You go to that jewelry kiosk. I think I need to do this on my own."

"Are you sure?" I asked, fingering the crooks of the broken heart.

"Yes." Kate gave a hesitant nod.

"I'll come over when I'm done, alright?"

She gave another nod, "Okay."

She and I parted ways; I held the necklace in my hand and went to the kiosk. I went up, smiled at the merchant, "Hey, I need a gold chain for this." I showed him my necklace.

"Alright." He gave a nod, "I've gotta look over here."

I stood back playing with the broken heart; I felt a little nervous for Kate; I couldn't see her from I was. I sucked in a breath and then chewed on my lip.

"Hey!" I heard a familiar voice, "Naomi!"

I looked to my left and saw Ricky and two guys with him. I waved, "Hey."

"What're you doin' here, honey?" He was joking with me.

"I found my necklace, but I need a new chain."

The merchant reappeared, "I found one, miss. That'll be $18.50."

I dug into my breast pocket of my long sleeve t-shirt and handed him a $20. He gave me my change and the chain; I thanked him, stuffed both into my pocket and then I turned back to Ricky, "So, what's up?"

"Nothin' really," he said with a small shrug. And then he looked at his friends beside him, "Oh, these are my boys Carden and Bilvy."

A boy with dark brown hair waved, "I'm Mike, actually."

"I'm Naomi."

"I'm William," the other boy with lighter brown hair and a shy smile said; he was really tall and lanky, "But, I guess you can call me Bilvy."

I chuckled, "Cool. I don't have a nickname...unless Nay counts, which I hate."

The boys laughed softly. Mike spoke up, "You go to our school, right?"

"You go to New Trier?"

"Yeah," they both said.

"Oh!" Ricky began as we all began to walk off towards the direction I last saw Kate. "She's the pepper spray girl!"

Mike and William's brows shot up, "No way!" William exclaimed.

I gave a small nod, "Yeah. I'm the girl who pepper sprayed Seth Wilson."

Mike laughed, "You're fuckin' bad ass!"

"Well, he wouldn't leave me alone." I explained. "He's a psychotic asshole."

"I know," William added, "We see him at parties on the weekend, God, he's a prick."

"He's in jail right now." I told them.

Their brows shot up again, only Ricky laughed. "Why?"

"My dad called the cops after he choked me. Ricky ain't tell you?"

They looked at him, and he shrugged sheepishly, "I was so stoned, I forgot."

"You're always stoned." Mike muttered.

"Yeah, so what?" He grinned.

"You are one crazy dude, Ricky." I told him.

"Yeah I know." He looked around, "Where are you taking us?"

I laughed, "Why're you following me?"

"We don't have shit to do."

"I'm going to the arcade." I told them, "My friend is talking to her boyfriend."

"Oh, good, we can fuck around playing duck hunt!" Ricky exclaimed happily.

I raised a brow at him, "Ricky, are you stoned?"

He grinned, "Like a biblical whore."

We all couldn't help but to laugh.

Mike, William, and Ricky followed me into the arcade; the place has dim lighting and lots of sounds. Ricky patted my head, "Call me if we don't say goodbye, Naomi."

"For sure." I smiled at him.

William and Mike waved to me, exchanging goodbyes. I went on and looked for Kate and/or Eric; it was hard to see in the dark light. "Katy?" I called once.

I went around the place, surpassing teens and kids. I got towards the bathrooms and sighed, "Fuck."

I looked around, and then I spotted Eric by the food counter. He was laughing with his friends, Derek was there too; I didn't see Kate though. I went over, maneuvering through the kids running around with candy and soda.

"Eric," I called as I approached him and his friends, "Where's Katy?"

His friends gave him a look and began to laugh. I frowned; Eric smirked, "She's in the bathroom."

I had a feeling there was more, because there's always more behind a smirk. "What did you do to her?" I asked angrily.

"I didn't do shit." He said with a small, egotistical laugh.

I narrowed my eyes, "If she's crying, I'll kick your ass."

He and his friends just looked at me; they knew I was serious. None of them spoke, so I turned and began to make my way to the bathrooms. I pushed open the girls' room door; "Katy? Kate, it's me, Naomi."

I heard her sniffle and then flush the toilet, "Hold on."

I waited by the sink; Kate came out the stall; her face flushed pink, eyes puffy. I frowned deeply; "What did that fucker do?"

Kate sniffed, her voice soft, "What do you think?"

"He say something about not wanting the baby?" I asked cautiously.

Kate nodded, rubbing her eyes. "Yep. Now I have to go tell my parents...they'll yell at me, they'll ask who the father is and then their gonna kill me."

I shook my head as she went to the sink, turn the faucet on and splashed water on her face; "They'll be mad, but they'll get over it, Kate."

"Yeah, later on. Right now, they'll scream at me," she groaned and wiped the water droplets from her face. "Fuck."

"I'm here if you need anything."

"I know you are. You're the only one."

I patted her back, "It'll be okay, Katy."

"I pray you're right about it be okay." She exhaled.

"I am." I smiled at her, "Now, lets get out of here and get a cinnamon bun."

"Sounds good."