Take This to Your Grave

"Are you going to tell my dad?" I asked her in a huff.

She furrowed her brow, "I don't know. What were you doing with him?"

"Nothing." I exhaled again, "I hate him...no, I don't. He just irks my goddamn nerves; I...I love him, Amy."

Now her brows shot up, "What--love? What?"

I nodded, crossing my arms, "I'm in love with him, Amy. He...he makes me happy, but at the same time, he makes me hate him."

"How long have you been seeing him?"

"6 months." I replied. "But, it's not like he's my boyfriend. He's my best friend, he doesn't know that I'm crazy about him."

"Naomi," she exhaled in a exhausted, disbelieved tone, "I--I don't know what to say. Have you done anything with him?"

I shook my head, lying, "We just hang out; watch movies, eat, just regular stuff."

Amy seemed to relax, "Oh. I don't believe that your dad needs to know about this, Naomi."

"Thank you." I felt eternally grateful for her. "Thank you so much, Amy."

"Yeah, but just because I let it slip one time, doesn't mean that I'm okay with you doing this."

"I know. I'm not gonna talk to Pete for awhile; we got into a fight."

Amy looked me over, "You want to talk about it?"

I did, actually. I wanted to vent and tell someone -almost anyone- how I was feeling. "You won't say a word to my old man?"

She smiled and pressed a finger to her lips, "Your secret is safe with me."

Amy and I settled on the couch where I began to tell her everything; straight from the beginning. I told her about how I felt, how I was in love with him and how I was afraid to tell my dad. She listened and gave me some advice on how to deal with guys like Pete.

"You keep doing what you do; don't let him try and cute his way through you. You have to give him a slap on the back of the hand when he's out of line."

I gave a nod, "Amy, can I tell you something else?"

She had raised a brow, but nodded; "Sure."

I not at my lip, "I think I want to be with Pete, ya'know? I want to bring him over and introduce him as my boyfriend. I just don't know how my dad would be."

Amy shook her head, "Naomi, you have great intentions, but you should wait. Your dad needs a break from all the mess surrounding Seth and you."

"Okay."

"Besides, he'll wonder what you need with a boyfriend anyway."

"You're right. I just want to make things right."

She gave me a smile, "You're dad only wants you safe and happy. He's told me so; he never wants you to go back with your mom," she made a small displeased facial expression, "That was a lot of...anger in that conversation."

"He doesn't hate me for the stuff I've done, does he?"

Amy smirked at me, "If he did, he would've told you so."

"I'm not so sure; my dad doesn't talk that much to me, unless he's mad at me or I'm mad at him."

"You're both stubborn." She patted my shoulder, "But he means well, Naomi."

"I know he does. Though, should I tell him Pete's my friend?"

She gave a small laugh, "I think he already knows, but lets not send him into shock."

"Alright."


It was a long time before I saw Pete again. Well, it felt like a long time; I missed him so much and I kept telling myself how pathetic I was. The next time I saw him, I was at the mall with Babette; she was doing my makeup for this shoot I was doing out in one of the stores.

I had told them countless times that I wouldn't be a good model choice, but they wanted me.

Pete was with this girl; I never met her before, but she was really pretty. She had black hair, wore dark clothing; torn jeans and a shirt with Aeorosmith on it. I had waved at him as he passed by the store; he had stopped and did a double take. After seeing that it was me, he said something to the girl and came into the store; the store manager stopped him, saying something; Babette turned, laughing, "He's cool." She told the manager.

Pete came over; "What the hell?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He looked me up and down, "You look fuckin'..." He trailed his words.

"She looks amazing; that's what you mean." Babette smirked before returning to apply eyeliner to my eyes.

"Yeah. Holy shit. What're you doing?"

"I'm modeling some spring dresses or something." I replied.

"And the shoes." Babette added.

"Yeah, these heels that are freaky high."

He was silent for a moment before clearing his throat, "Well, uh...good luck, I gotta go."

I waved, "Thanks. See ya."

He tweaked his lips and then waved before leaving. Babette giggled once he was out of earshot; "You got him turning to mush."

"How so?" I questioned with a small confused look. "He just looked at me."

"He'll be thinking about you while he's with that little goth girl."

I smirked, and spoke obnoxiously; "Psh, he's always thinking about me."

Babette laughed; "Yeah, I know it's true."

Babette and I finished small talk before I had to go stand on this white catwalk and "work" the dress. I only did this for the money; this modeling thing was not my calling. I hated the clothes and I hated getting made up; if I could trade places with any other girl, I would.

After it was all over, I changed and went home with Babette. It seemed that everyone was out; everyone was getting ready for Christmas. Thanksgiving had passed without anything truly exciting besides the fact I ate like I had the world's largest tapeworm.

Babette pulled up at my house; my dad and Mr. Wentz were both outside putting up Christmas lights. "I'll see you later." I said to her.

"Bye, Naomi."

I climbed out the car and listened as she drove away. My dad looked back at me, "Home already?"

"Yep. It was a short thing." I replied.

"Get inside, Amy's making cookies and hot chocolate for you."

I smiled and hurried in; ever since I had talked to Amy about Pete, she and I had created a bond. My dad had gotten confused over the time we spent together, but he was overall glad that we were getting along. Despite all that, I wasn't sure I should tell her that I saw Pete...

"Hey," she smiled when I entered the kitchen, "How was your photo shoot?"

"It was good." I answered, "I need to wash this goop off my face."

"You look pretty." She noted. "What did you wear?"

"Spring dresses, wedges and heels; totally you and not me."

She and I shared a laugh. Then she asked; "Did anything interesting happen?"

I not at my lip and looked towards the hall for any sound of my dad; I looked back at Amy, "Uh, I did see Pete walking past the store."

Her brows rose just a bit, "Really? Did he see you?"

I nodded, "Yeah. He was with this girl; I waved and then he came in."

"With the girl?" She asked with intrigue.

I shook my head, snagging a chocolate chip cookie near me, "No. His jaw hit the floor when he saw me."

She grinned, "Ha, ha. Silly boy."

I bit my cookie, "He was surprised to see me so made up."

"So, did you talk to him? Or was it a quick hello and goodbye?"

"Just a quick hello." I gave a small sigh an twirled my cookie between my fingers, "Why do I like that jerk so much?"

"He's like forbidden fruit." She teased me and took a cookie herself. "Boys come and go, Naomi...but, you know that he's different, don't you?"

"I just have this gut feeling, Amy. Like...like I'm meant to spend the rest of my natural days with him. It's...scary and exciting. I never felt that way about a guy before."

She smiled warmly, her eyes drifting a bit, "That's exactly how I feel about Lee. He's so dorky and..." She trailed and then exhaled happily, "He's lovable, he's honest and he loves me. I've never felt that, either, so I get it."

"So, I'm not entirely crazy?"

She shook her head and bit her cookie. She swallowed before saying more; "Maybe we're both loony and this isn't sane. But who cares, right? As long as we're happy."

"Yes, exactly."


At dinner, we all sat down to eat; Amy had served us, and before she could get a bite into her mouth, my dad said to her; "The Wentzs invited us over this Sunday."

I nearly choked on my juice. Amy was mid chew and looked at him; "What for?"

My dad looked at me an then at Amy, "They want to talk about Naomi and Pete."

My stomach twisted. "What about Pete and I?"

My dad looked at me now, "I talked to Peter about you guys and he said that Dale wanted to discuss it too."

I swallowed some more juice before replying; "Do I need to come?"

"No," he answered, "It's just gonna be us."

Amy licked over her lips, "Well, um, do I need to come along? I'm...I'm not sure how I fit into this."

I knew she was a little worried that my dad may've known that I told her something about Pete. I was nervous too, because I didn't want my dad to be upset with Amy.

"Why not? You're going to be my wife soon -Naomi's step-mother, so I figured you should come with me."

I felt relieved, and almost awed at my dad. Amy smiled, "Oh, well, I didn't even think of that."

"Do you want to come?"

"Sure, why not? I could possibly add my two-cents."

My dad nodded, "Great," he looked over at me, "This isn't something that we're going to do to punish you. We just want to talk about all of this."

"It's okay, dad." I said. "I understand."

He smiled and then he started to eat. I wasn't sure what to make of all of this.