Take This to Your Grave

Life seemed to go slow and fast at the same time. The pace spun my head; days ended too quickly, but the hours seemed to drag on. It's hard to explain, but I get anxious about the time passing.

I didn't see Pete for awhile; even though I had permission to. I didn't talk to him on the phone, nor did I actually see him. I spent most of my time between school, hanging out with Ricky and Bilvy, and keeping my attitude in check with my dad.

He and I got along, and I think it was because I didn't have Pete around and I was out more. He had suspected that I wouldn't want to stay out due to the whole mess with Seth. I had gotten over that, to some extent; I had reservations about getting too close to guys. Ricky and Bilvy were the exception. I even brought Bilvy over to meet my dad, because he had invited me to see his band play at a house party.

My dad approved of the lanky, shy boy with the crooked smile. Bill was in no way my boyfriend, just a good friend that I could talk to and not get high with. Ricky was the one I went to when I needed to escape.

After Christmas; I received a package from my mom. It contained some money, a few things from my old bedroom and a new dress to wear in the spring. She wrote me a letter, stating that she couldn't wait to see me; she wanted me to come for Easter. I had called her to thank her and told her that I'd think about coming down. That trip was up in the air; I'd have to ask my dad; I never really told him much about our conversation.

At the end of December Kate was finally able to go out. Well, she came with me to the mall one day to go ice skating. Bill and Ricky would be there, and I wanted to introduce Kate to them; she had met Bill, but she hadn't met Ricky.

Amy let me borrow her car to drive; I had picked up Kate and smiled when I saw her. Her belly was small, just a tiny bump; you couldn't point out that she was pregnant. No one at school knew; Eric had kept his mouth shut and avoided Kate, and myself, like we had the Black Plague.

"Freedom!" Kate exclaimed when she got in. "I'm so happy to be outside."

"Dude, you go to school."

"I mean after school, Naomi." She smirked at me, but then smiled. "So, why ice skating?"

"Uh, well, Bill was excited about it and I wanted you to meet Ricky."

She cooed, "Ooh, Ricky? Do you like him?"

"No, no, really, I just want you to meet him. This dude is a riot, straight up pot head."

"Does he have dreads?"

"No."

"Pete used to," she giggled, "It was gross."

I looked at her with a small grimace, "Ew, really?"

She nodded, "Yep. I've known Wentz since I was 10 years old; I've seen all the mess he's been through."

"Has he been around?"

"Yeah, here and there. But, Chris just moved out, so..."

"Did he move in with Babette?"

"Uh-huh. About time, too; I think they're gonna get married."

I smiled, "Aw, B would be so freakin' happy if Chris proposed."

Kate giggled, "Oh, I know."

The ride to the mall was swift; we talked just a bit. I parked, and then we made our way inside, running to get out of the cold. Kate and I went towards the center of the mall, hearing kids scream out of joy and parents cheering.

"God, I haven't ice skated in ages." Kate said as we went up the rental booth and got skates.

I spotted Ricky and Bill waiting by the edge of the bowl of rink. I led Kate over; "Bilvy," I called his name; he turned and smiled, "How long have you guys been here?"

"Not too long." Bill answered.

Ricky graveled, "It's cold!"

I shook my head, "Rick, meet Kate. Katy, that's Ricky."

Ricky waved, "Wow, you're hot. You look familiar, though."

Kate smirked, "Do I?"

He nodded, "If I was sober, I'd know, but I'm high as fu..." He stopped himself due to the kids around. "I'm up with birds."

We all laughed; Bill nudged his head towards my skates, "You're really going to skate?"

I hummed, "Yep, I haven't done it in awhile."

Bill smiled, "Want me to help you?"

"Sure."

Bill excused himself to get skates; Kate made kissy noises as we sat beside Ricky to lace up; "He likes you."

"Of course he does," Ricky said, "But he's friend zoned so hard, I feel it."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't see Bill like that."

"I told him, Naomi." Ricky muttered, his teeth chattering, "Break it to him gently, will ya? I'm gonna go get a coffee, excuse me ladies."

Ricky rushed off towards the escalator to the food court. Kate laughed, "I see why you hang out with him, he's too chill."

"That's because he's always stoned."

Kate and I stood, waiting for Bill; he returned and hurriedly put his skates on. We all carefully got on the ice; almost immediately Kate skated off like a pro. I frowned, "Holy smokes," I muttered, making sure to watch my language. "Do you see her?" I asked Bill.

He chuckled, "When you live here, it's almost a sin if you don't at least know how to stand on ice in skates."

I held onto the railing, Bill was on the outside, to my left, "I hope I don't fall." I exhaled.

"Just hold my hand, Naomi." He instructed.

I held onto his arm and with baby steps, I let go of the railing. Kate skated by us; "C'mon scaredy cat!"

I fought the urge to flip her off; I held tighter onto Bill's arm. We slowly skated away from the railing; kids and parents, teens too, swirled around me. "You okay?" Bill asked.

"Fine." I muttered.

"Your knees are shakin' like Bambi's." he chuckled.

"I'm good, I'm good." I muttered my words again.

Bill put his arm around my waist and continued to lead me on. As we gained speed, I relaxed and I remembered how my dad had taught me to skate. I had loosen my grip on Bill, but kept my hand on his arm. We went around the rink a few times; I was having a great time. Well, I was until I saw Pete as we decided to stop skating.

Kate went in first; Bill and I came around, and that's when I saw him. He was frowning slightly, but he had this amused look on his face. When we went in and took our skates off, Pete strolled over, "Hey Navy."

My stomach knotted for some reason; Pete looked so cute with that stupid smirk, tired eyes and bed head.

"Hey." I said softly. "Uh, this is Bill." I introduced them, "Bill this is my friend Pete."

Bill nodded his head towards him, "Hey, man, I know you. You're in Arma Angelus, right? Cool band."

Pete smiled and nodded, "Yeah, thanks. Are you guys on a date?"

I shook my head. Bill answered, "Nah, we just came to skate since they finally reopened the rink."

"I didn't know you skated." Pete focused on me.

"I used to, when I was younger...decided to give it another try."

He gave a nod, "Oh. Well, I've got a date to meet. I'll see you guys later."

I narrowed my eyes at him; he was trying to irk my nerves. It was working.

"Bye, Pete." I said in a small voice; I tried not to speak sharply.

"See ya, dude." Bill said with a wave.

Pete left with a smirk; I wanted to kick him as he passed. Bill cleared his throat, gaining my attention; "Pete's a jerk sometimes." I murmured.

"You like him." Bill smiled a bit, "He likes you. It's funny."

"How so?" I questioned him quizzically and with a small frown.

"You guys try to hide it and it's obvious." Bill chuckled, "Hey, it's cute, too."

I blushed, "Seriously?"

He nodded slowly, "Yep."

I bit at my lip, "Oh, I...I didn't know it was obvious."

"The tension, Naomi," he gestured towards our eyes with his fingers, "It's in the eyes."

I felt a bit embarrassed, "Wow."

"It's not a bad thing, ya'know."

"Yeah..."

"I wish you luck with a guy like Pete, he's a little rough, am I right?"

"Yes, sir." I exhaled softly. "He confuses me to no end."

He patted my shoulder, "Again, good luck, Naomi."
•

Pete has frustrated me with his little games. He was hot and cold and would sometimes ignore my presence when I had gone to a show at the community center. It was New Years Eve and Bill had invited me.

Pete had waved to me and then when I went over to talk to him, he waved me off and kept talking to girls. I had turned back and watched the bands with Bill, trying to lose my head in the loud thrash of bass and drums. It was hard; Pete was constantly in my head.

Near midnight, kids were spreading about, talking. A band played, some people still watched; Bill and I got some drinks and talked a bit with everyone else. I had looked at my watch and notice it was 5 to midnight; just as I had, I felt a hand on my arm.

"Navy," Pete's smooth voice sang into my ear. "I need to talk to you."

I snarled at him, "Oh, now you wanna talk to me?"

He grinned, "Babe, I'm sorry."

He had that look in his eyes; pupils dilated. "What did you take?" I asked him.

"Just come with me." He urged.

I swallowed, following him without letting Bill know. It didn't seem to matter; he was busy in a conversation with a pretty blonde girl. Pete led me towards a corner; the music faded behind us, along with the light.

Pete cornered me, one palm above my head and the other cupping my cheek. I frowned again, "You jerk."

"I love you, Naomi." He leaned forward. "I'm only high to get the guts to tell you all of this."

"You shouldn't have to. Love isn't a weapon."

"Yes it is...my heart is like a grenade and...and you pull the pin whenever we're near each other." He licked his lips, "I could get lost in the way you talk and the way you look at me. I want to spend the rest of my shitty life with you...in any form."

I felt my throat tighten and I could only reply with, "You jerk." Again.

He dropped his hand from my jaw and took hold of my wrist. He looked at my watch; "We got a minute and a half."

"So?"

"They say that if you kiss your love at midnight on News Years you'll be with them forever."

I shook my head, "Why in the hell would you want to be with me forever?"

He smiled lazily, "Because you give me fuckin' butterflies whenever I see you. I told you, my hearts a grenade, Navy."

I bit at my lip, "Stop it."

He rubbed my arm with his fingers; he pulled my wrist up once more; "Thirty seconds..."

"My dad said we can be friends." I said suddenly."

"I don't need his fuckin' permission." Pete said with a laugh. "I'll do whatever I want with you as long as you want me too."

I swallowed again; my eyes wondered to my watch; "Sixteen...fifteen...fourteen...thirteen...twelve--"

"Eleven..." He began, "Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five."

My heart sped up; the last five seconds, Pete leaned in; just then we heard party poppers and cheers and that was it. He kissed me, my heart thumping in my throat and my mind going blank. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in, kissing him with every inch of passion I could muster.