Take This to Your Grave

My and Pete's relationship didn't spark off like you'd think. The only spark that came from us was from our kiss. Pete went right back to almost ignoring me; he didn't call, come over, or even sneak in. The only time I ever saw him was when Babette invited me over, along with Kate, to test her new shades of lipsticks and blushes. Even then he barely waved, or he said a quick hi before going off with Chris into the living room to jam.

It hurt my feelings, and I was used to being hurt. I guess it was because I thought Pete would at least talk to me or say more than a few words to me. I never said anything, I mean, what was there to say really?

I thought that maybe he didn't want me anymore. I didn't want to be a burden, so I eventually gave up waving or saying hello. My head thought of him constantly, my heart ached and my brain forced it all away.

In school, things were slowly turning up. Kids didn't see me as some freak anymore; people actually talked to me. Kate had come to school, but when she really started to show, her parents enrolled her into an alternative school. I hated it; she and I wouldn't be together and we wouldn't be graduating together. My only friend at school was Bill; soon, his friends became my friends.

I had started talking to one of his friends; Mike. He drummed in his band; he had shoulder length, sandy blonde hair, a crooked smile like Bilvy's and he was funny. He made me laugh, that's what attracted me to him in the first place.

By March, he had become my boyfriend. It was awesome, because I didn't have to hide him, my dad liked him and Amy thought he was a sweetheart. We had become inseparable; I thought maybe I was neglecting everyone around me. But, I brought Mike around, as he did with me; he came with me to the photo shoots I did, we went to shows and we even studied together. The first time we kissed, I thought maybe this could be it; Mike could replace Pete.

Well, it was crazy; as soon as I started dating Mike, I saw Pete everywhere. At shows, at the mall, at Homer's, the movies, and the park where Mike and I would go to good off. Each time I saw Pete, he had this scowl on his face; this satisfied me immensely. It was like I had the upper hand now; I was boasting my happiness and boyfriend in front of him and he couldn't do a thing about it.

At first, I suspected that maybe my relationship with Mike was fictitious. I thought that I was with him out of spite and not some puppy love; but I quickly reassured myself that I wasn't. I really, really liked Mike; I told him about Pete, about my folks and a bit about Seth (when he asked why I pepper sprayed him). I knew that he would still be my friend, a good friend, even if we broke up. Mike is such a good person; he was different than Pete, than any other guy I had ever liked.

When April rolled in, my mom had asked for me to come meet her new baby and visit the family for a few days. I didn't say no, but I was reluctant to go; Amy was planning her wedding and I really, really wanted to be there when she picked her dress. Amy assured me that I wouldn't miss anything and urged me to go so I could become closer to my mom. So, I decided to go and my mom bought my train ticket for the weekend.

Before I had gone, I went over to Kate's to visit with her. Her belly was getting bigger and it did not suit her at all. It was weird seeing her pregnant; I've only seen my mom pregnant.

"Hey, how's little Katy doing?" I joked as I plopped on her bed.

"Ugh, he's always hungry." She groaned.

"Did you finally pick a name?"

She hummed, "Yeah...Julian."

"That's cute." I fingered her teddy bear at the end of her bed.

"I talked to Eric earlier." She said suddenly.

I looked up at her, "What? What'd he say?"

"That he was sorry and that he wants to be there for the baby." She rolled her eyes after, "His mom is making him do it because she found out the baby is a boy and she's always wanted a grandson."

I scoffed, "Bitch."

"Yeah, she's a bitch; Eric's a bitch too. His tone was flat and he sounded like he was reading from a cue card or somethin'."

"Well, if he does come around, he better get involved."

"That's exactly what my mom said." Kate sat up, her hand resting on her pregnant stomach; "You know who is absolutely jealous of you and your new flame?" She giggled.

"Who?" I asked with a cocked brow.

"Who do you think? Pete! B told me he's always rantin' and ravin' about how Mike is shit and you could do better."

I rolled my eyes, "Pete is a jerk; he wants me now that I don't need him?"

"Figures." She smirked.

"Why is he even talking about us? Just because he's jealous?"

"Yep. You know him; he missed you, too."

I shook my head, "Whatever."

I bit the inside of my lip to keep from smiling. That big idiot missed me and he was jealous. Good, it serves him right for ignoring me.


Friday night, the night before I had to leave to New York, I was watching movies with Mike. We were on the couch, Amy and my dad were in the kitchen brewing coffee and talking; there came a knock on the door.

We both looked at the door; "I'll get it," my dad said.

Mike and I went back to watching Reservoir Dogs. Less than a minute later, my dad came in; "Naomi, it's for you."

I looked at my dad, "What? Who is it?"

"Take a wild guess." He said with a small frown.

I took the blanket off of my lap; "I'll be right back." I told Mike.

"Alright, but I ain't gonna pause it." He chuckled.

"Do you know how many times I've seen that movie?" I smirked at him.

"Don't ruin my victory." He countered back.

I smiled and shook my head; I jogged over to the front door and opened the door. My smile fell when I saw Pete; he was smoking a cigarette; "What the hell?"

"I want to talk to you." He said softly, taking in a deep drag.

"Put that shit out first." I told him.

Pete nodded, dropped the cigarette and stepped on it. I stepped out, shivering a bit; even though it was spring, it was still cold. I shut the door and then wrapped my arms around myself; "What'd you come for?"

"I wanted to see you...apologize for being a dick." He muttered. "I missed you."

I frowned deeply, "You missed me? God, you're..." I trailed, trying not to say something hurtful. I couldn't hurt Pete as much as I wished. "Why did you ignore me?"

"It wasn't on purpose, Naomi, I swear. I was...I've been trying to stop the pills and I've been irritable and--and I didn't want you to--I didn't want to say something mean to you."

I raised a brow at him, "And, so what now? Is your philosophy to sweep it all under the rug? Do you want me to forgive you for making me feel like crap for the past 3 months?"

"Naomi, I don't...I'm..." Pete was struggling, his hands were fidgety. "I don't know what to say...I had it all worked out in my head, but now I can't remember."

He looked like a little boy who was lost. I swallowed and stepped towards him; "Are you off the pills? Like, the recreational drugs."

He sighed and nodded, "I've been smokin' like crazy though, fuckin' sucks."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "I'm proud of you, ya'know." I told him. "I missed you, too, you jerk."

He chuckled and hugged me back, "I'm sorry, Navy."

I inhaled; he smelled like his cologne and cigarettes, and a bit of alcohol, but it wasn't pungent. "Your apology is accepted." I pulled back; his hands fell to my hips, my arms rested on his shoulders. "Look, I'm going to New York for the weekend, to visit my mom, but when I get back, can we hang out again? You can meet Mike, officially."

Pete gave a small grimace, "Yeah, okay."

"He's a nice guy, I really like him and I want you to like him."

"What if I don't want to like him? What if I don't like him?"

I smiled and pecked his cheek, "Then pretend for me."

He sighed, "For you."

I nodded, "Yes. I love you, Peter."

He smiled back at me, "I love you, Naomi, have fun and, uh, don't let your mom keep you down."

We parted, and I kissed his cheek again, "I won't. You...I want you to take care of yourself; continue to."

He nodded, "I will. Goodnight."

I waved as he started to leave, "'Night."

I returned inside and made my way to the couch; Mike covered my lower half with the blanket and then wrapped his arm around my shoulders. My stomach erupted with butterflies, "Thanks."

"No problem." He said. "Who was that?"

"Pete." I murmured.

"Really? What'd he want?"

"To apologize."

Mike hummed, "Oh. He isn't gonna steal you away from me is he?" He jested.

I chuckled, "No way, Mike."

He nuzzled his face against my neck, "Good, because I like you a lot."

I giggled and kissed his forehead, "I like you, too."


I had said goodbye to my dad as he dropped me off at the train station. I had got on, and sat back, nervously watching people get on. My dad and Amy waved from the platform; I waved back, trying to push away the nerves.

Once the train started, I inhaled deeply; immediately my hand shot up to my neck, to finger my broken heart necklace. I still wore it, but never really acknowledging that it was there. I felt homesick, but not any normal homesick; I missed Pete.

He comes back and sucks me in and it hurt. It stung, it hurt, it burned me and I wish it didn't. Pete has cursed me, he has made me fall in love with him and now I'm stuck.

I felt terrible about thinking about him and not about Mike. Both guys drove me -happily- insane; but Mike is the toned down version of Pete and I liked that. Pete is Pete and I love that; I didn't have to choose now, but I knew I would one of these days.

I had fallen asleep, but jolted awake when the train jerked. I rubbed my eyes and looked out on the platform; I immediately found my mom among others. Mom was in heels, as usual, and bouncing a bundle; I figured it was her new baby.

I got off the train with my rucksack and went over to her. She smiled, "Naomi! Oh, sweetie, your hair is so long!"

I cleared my throat, "Uh, yeah."

She continued to smile and then she turned the bundle, "Meet Jonathan, your little brother."

She literally thrusted the baby -Jonathan- into my arms and I reluctantly took hold of him. I haven't held a baby in years, "Oh. Hello."

Jonathan had a chubby face and looked just like Leo. He was snoozing; he was adorable. "He's a cutie."

"He is," she cooed. "Are you ready?"

I nodded, cradling Jonathan as carefully as I could, "Yep."