Take This to Your Grave

I drove right back to Pete's; again, I sat in my car, thinking. I was just about ready to cry; I really hated myself for it. I finally got out and made my way up to the door; I took a minute to knock, unsure as to why.

I knocked three times and waited; a moment later the door opened and there was Tim. He raised a brow, "Isn't it too early for booty calls?"

I rolled my eyes and pushed my way through; Tim and I are cool, he bugs me just like a brother would bug a little sister (I saw him at shows a lot with Andy). Tim laughed as I went across the living room and down the hall to Pete's room. I knocked before opening the door; Pete was lying on his side, half asleep, and looked up, "I knew you couldn't get enough."

I held in a smile, went in, shut the door behind me and kicked my shoes off. Pete sat up, pushed his covers back and let me crawl into them with him. He covered us, wrapping his arm over my waist.

"My dad and I got into a fight." I told him.

Pete sighed, "I figured...but it doesn't hurt to say you came back because you couldn't get enough."

I laughed against his arm beneath my head; "Okay, I couldn't get enough of the sex god that is Pete Wentz."

He nuzzled his face against the back of my neck, "I knew it."

I smiled and bit my lip, "I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"No." He kissed my shoulder, "I was trying to fall asleep because I missed you."

"You are such a liar."

He laughed, his breath blowing across my shoulder; "I always miss you," he said softly, "I miss you right now."

"How can you miss me right now?"

"I think about when you leave...I don't want you to leave." Again, he nuzzled his face against my neck. "I want to shrink you and keep you in my pocket."

I laughed, "Then I'd probably suffocate."

Pete sat up and rolled my body over so I was facing him; "I'm so happy that you didn't say it was impossible to shrink you, instead you focus on the fact that you'd suffocate."

"Well, duh."

He smiled, "You'd let me shrink you?"

"If you didn't put me in your pocket."

"Where would you go then?"

"You'd have to start wearing shirts with breast pockets."

Pete laughed and gave me a soft kiss; I wrapped my arms around him and let him pull me on top of him. I rested my cheek against his bare chest; "What happened with your dad?"

I sighed and faced him, "He asked me where I was and told him the truth."

Pete's eyes widened a bit and then he sat up, pulling me along with him. He didn't speak until he was lying back against his pillows; "You told him you were with me?"

"Yep. He asked me what we did, I told him we hung out and then he saw the hickey on my neck and then asked me, again, what we did and he didn't want me to lie."

"You didn't tell him we did it, did you?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Wow. What happened next?"

"He just got mad and then he stormed out of my room and I followed him." I let out a small sigh, "We yelled at each other; I was being a little bitch and he kicked me out."

Pete chuckled and shook his head, "Fuck, you've got balls."

"I was angry. I told him that I didn't want to lie anymore, so I told him the truth, Pete...I basically told him that I wanted to be with you."

Pete scoffed, "I bet he loved that."

"Yeah, so much he threw me out." I rested my cheek against his chest again, "Amy told me to come back after a few hours...I have to go see Mike later." I let out a groan and then buried my face in his chest; "Why is life so hard?"

"So it can fuck us." Pete answered in a soft tone.

I looked up at him, "I hate this...I feel so bad for doing this to Mike...he's so nice to me."

Pete kissed me, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Making you do this."

"You didn't make me do anything...I did this. I could've said no to you and went to that stupid party."

I was feeling so upset, I was ready to cry again. I buried my face in his chest again, letting the tears fall. Pete pulled my face up, telling me not to cry, but I couldn't stop. Guilt was eating me alive and I knew that I'd feel this way for a long, long time. Pete tried to will this away by kissing me and telling me that he loves me over and over again.

"I'm such a bad person." I murmured against his lips with tears swept across my face.

"You're not a bad person," his lips mimed against my cheek, "You're in love."

"My dad hates me." I added softly. "I fucked up."

"You haven't fucked up." He whispered, his hands tugged at my shirt. "You're not a fuck up. I'm the fuck up."

Pete pulled the shirt over my head and kissed me again. My head was all fuzzy and my heart felt as if it were beating really, really slowly. My body was lighter than air, could've knocked me out with a feather.

"You're not a fuck up, Pete." I whispered against his ear.

He unhooked my bra and I pulled the straps off of my shoulders and down my arms; it was lost under the covers. He kissed at my neck, my arms wrapped around his neck; his hands ran down my sides, tugging at my sweats quickly and slipping his hand inside. I let out a soft breath, Pete kissed up my jaw and near my ear; "I am a fuck up, Navy."

I brought my hand up to cup his jaw to make him look at me, "Listen to me, Peter...you are not a fuck up."

He smiled at me, and leaned in to kiss me softly on the lips. My heart was swelling up, nearly bursting through my chest. I never felt so in love with a person before; like I ever had, so this was the first time. I never had a first love, never felt sick to my stomach in love with anyone before. Pete is it, he's my first love, my first -nearly- everything.

"I love you," I whispered into his ear.

Pete let out a soft groan, rolling his hips against mine; "I love you, too, baby."

He pulled my sweats down and I kicked them off, my socks balling into them. Pete ran his hand over the waist band of my underwear, his tongue skimming over my teeth and meeting mine. I ran my hand up the back of his head, flicking his hair between my fingers. He tugged my underwear down, and once more I kicked them off and let out a soft whine. Pete rocked his hips against mine again, causing me to moan against his mouth, my fingers raking down his back now.

Pete broke our kiss, his hand moving between my legs as he sat up. His eyes locked onto mine as he pushed two fingers inside of me; I let out a pleasing moan and jerked my hips up. Still, his eyes kept mine in focus as he moved his fingers in a slow pace; my hands took hold of the sheet and gripped them. I broke our stare, my head falling back and let out a moan; Pete laughed, and shush me.

I bit down on my lip, my toes curled as I neared my peak before I knew it. Pete removed his fingers and I whined, looking back at him; "Turn over." He ordered me.

My stomach fluttered as I did as he said; Pete gave a low raspy chuckle; "You have a cute butt."

I shook my head with a laugh, "Shut up."

Pete shifted on the bed, and then he lent over my body; he was finally naked. He pressed his lips to my shoulder, his hands took hold of my hips and lifted them up. I held my breath, my stomach dropping from nervousness and anticipation; he sat up again and I looked back at him; "Shoulders down, hips up." He instructed.

I dropped my shoulders for him and doing exactly as he said. With one swift motion, Pete was inside of me with a wail of pleasure. I groaned, burying my face into the nearest pillow, biting into it. His fingernails dug into my hips, tightening with each thrust. I cried out into the pillow, hoping Tim or Andy couldn't hear me.

Pete just grunted and panted, his hands marveled around my hips and sides. His thrusts soon got faster and a bit out of sync and he was close. Once more, his hands touched and rubbed away, causing me to finish off before him with a cry into the pillow. He finished with an insanely loud groan -I know the guys could hear that- and then he pulled out and fell beside me. I rolled onto my side and looked at him; his forehead was glistening with sweat and there was that stupid smile on his face.

I laughed tiredly and pulled the sheet over us. Pete scooted closer to me, pulled me into an embrace and kissed me. I rested my cheek against his sweaty shoulder and was ready to fall asleep.

Pete turned his head towards me, resting his chin above my head, "I know I expect too much, but I really want you to stay with me."

"We'll see." I told him softly. "I...I need to talk to my dad and apologize."

"Yeah, I know." He kissed my forehead, "Go to sleep, Navy."

I did just as he said.


Pete was asleep when I got up and dressed to go meet with Mike. I crept out, surpassing a smirking Tim and a clueless Andy -I'm sure Tim would fill him in once I was gone. I called Mike, from my car, and told him to meet me at the park.

Mike sounded so happy to hear from me, and to see me. The guilt was eating me alive, and I wish I could stop it. I sat in my car, angry with myself for letting this happen; I knew that I shouldn't have been with Mike...or maybe I should've broken up with him first instead of just cheating on him.

I was still in the car when he arrived; he knocked on my window. I had been pulled from my thoughts and saw him; I got out and was hesitant to hug him. Mike didn't seem to notice my reluctance.

"I missed you last night." He said, keeping his arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah," I breathed, "I'm really sorry."

The guilt was sitting right on my shoulders.

"Is your dad pissed?"

"Very."

"Because you were with Kate?"

I sighed, "Look, uh, Mike, I really..." My stomach was in knots, "I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore."

I pulled away from him and stood in front of him. Mike looked utterly confused.

"What do you mean?"

I cleared my throat, "I'm breaking up with you."

The words fell out of my mouth in spaces.

He frowned, "Why?"

I decided to lay it all out there; "I'm a horrible person. I'm possibly the worst girlfriend to ever come into your life."

He still looked confused, "What are you talking about?"

"I cheated on you." I spat out. "Last night. With Pete."

Mikey's jaw slacked; it took a moment for him to say anything; "Pete? With Pete? Are you serious?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Yes. And...I'm sorry, okay? I wish that I could take it back and--"

Without even blinking an eye, he smacked me across the face. He shoved me out of the way and got into his car and took off. I was stuck in shock, my hand holding my cheek; I deserved that, most definitely.