Take This to Your Grave

Back at Pete's place, Andy, Joe and Tim were there and this kid I hadn't seen before. He had a chubby face, a buzzed head and a shy smile. Pete had nudged me when we entered and whispered; "Argyle sweater."

I snickered to myself; "Hey guys."

Joe waved, setting his bass down, "Hey, are you still sick?"

I tilted my head a bit, "Uh, no."

Joe shrugged, and Pete took my hand, "We'll be back guys."

Pete led me to the kitchen and cornered me a bit, "I told the guys not to bug us since you'd be sick."

I nodded slowly, "Oh."

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

"No, no, it's okay." I smiled softly at him, "If it's okay."

He leaned over and kissed my forehead, "It's okay, but I can make them leave."

"Don't be rude," I chuckled, "It's okay, Pete."

He kissed me on the lips this time, "Alright, come meet the new kid then."

Pete and I returned to the living room where everyone was talking; Tim had gone off, so it was just Andy, Joe and the new kid; Mr. Argyle Sweater. He smiled at me, and I swore he was the cutest little guy I've ever seen before; "Hi." He said with a small wave.

"Hi, I'm Naomi."

He blushed, and I wasn't sure as to why, "Yeah, I know--I'm Patrick...Stump."

I shook his hand, "So, you're the drummer for the new band?"

Patrick shrugged a little; he was so shy; "I guess so."

I looked at Pete who was smiling almost smugly at the kid. I then looked at Patrick, "Don't worry about Pete, he's all hot air."

Patrick's face reddened, "Oh, uh--I'm not--I just," he paused, "I didn't want to stare at you, because you're his girlfriend and stuff."

I laughed, "It's okay, I'm not his property."

Pete scoffed, "What?"

I rolled my eyes and looked back at Patrick, "Like I said, don't worry about him, Pete is a big softy."

The guys laughed and then Pete blushed, shaking his head at me. I kissed his cheek; "It's true." I told him.

Joe made kissing noises at us and Pete flipped him off. I just smiled, not taking any offense to the boys' jokes.


It was maybe a week of trying to figure out how to tell my dad, my mom and Amy about my being pregnant. I had written down speeches and played off scenarios in my head that seemed to end the same; my dad would flip out, yell, then tell me that he hated me and how much of a disappointment I was to him.

Fear would not motivate me at all.

I knew that I would have to see a doctor soon so I figured that I could tell them after. Pete had become more comfortable with the idea, he and I didn't really talk about our future, though he did make jokes about what we'd call our baby. Every time he did, I had two bits of me conflicting; fighting; his jokes were endearing, but they sent fear through me.

I wasn't afraid of my dad, I was more afraid of losing it. Losing myself, my mind, Pete and my love for him and our baby. This kid was both a gift and a curse and I wanted nothing more than to love it.

As the week ended, my dad and Amy hadn't noticed much. I was out more with Pete, but he didn't really like to go out much. It was a Friday night when Arma Angelus was playing at the VFW and he let me come along. A bunch of kids were there; I was with Kate while Pete had met up with Chris and his friends; I hadn't seen Babette yet. The VFW was large, but with so many kids inside, it was getting cramped. I had gotten a soda with Kate and we stood by the exit, watching everyone.

Kate hasn't known that I was still pregnant, but I had a feeling she knew; Pete and I kept everything amongst ourselves. She hadn't said anything, so it was basically like how we were before; hanging out and watching the band. Before they went on, Kate had tapped my arm; "Guess who I see."

I leaned over, "Who?"

"Mike and Eric." She snorted.

I followed her pointed finger towards a group of boys; there they were; Mike, Eric and a bunch of their friends. I would've stayed back, but I saw Bilvy; "There's Bill!" I told her.

"Oh God," Kate muttered suddenly, "Eric just looked at us."

Kate hasn't said much of him since Julian was born, only that he never called or came over, but he did see Julian once, at his mother's urging. Now, she was trying her hardest not to talk shit about him.

"Forget him," I told her, "He isn't gonna do anything."

Kate hummed and rolled her eyes, more so at Eric who was staring at us now. I turned my head and noticed Bill coming over with Carden. I waved at them as they approached, "Long time no see!"

I hugged Bill, "Yeah, I missed you, dude."

"Where's your boyfriend?" He chuckled. "I mean, Pete, not that fool over there."

"He's just about to get on." Kate answered.

Just as she had, there was a loud guitar screech and then I heard the familiar strum of Joe's bass. I smiled as we all looked at the stage and the music started to blare. It was about 2 minutes into their set when I felt a hand on my arm; I looked up to see Eric, "Hey--"

He tugged me away from the wall, "I need to talk to you."

"About what?" I pushed his arm off.

"Tell Kate to talk to me." He begged.

"What? You go talk to her, you are the father of her son." I glared at him incredulously.

"She won't let me talk without yelling at me."

"So? She should yell at you, you're a deadbeat."

Eric narrowed his eyes at me, "You owe me, ya'know."

"I don't owe you shit." I spat at him.

He grabbed my arm again, "Yes you do! After all the shit I took because of your mess, you owe me."

"Like hell I do!" I ripped my arm away.

"Want me to get Mike?" He spoke threateningly.

"What the fuck is Mike gonna do? He's a bitch just like you!"

Eric growled, "Fine. You asked for it then."

Rolling my eyes, I had started to walk off when he grabbed me; I wasn't alarmed, not at first. I was thrusted into the crowd of moshing kids; I tripped and managed to grabbed onto someone's shirt, but was pushed off. I fell onto the floor and I felt feet and knees hit my body, and all the wind was knocked out of me. I knew I was screwed from the moment I had felt the first foot against my back; these kids weren't kicking me on purpose, most of them had stopped when they saw me there. A guy helped me up, but again, I fell and then I heard that recognizable "dirnt" noise of a missed chord on a bass.

"Hey!" I heard Chris' voice shout through the speakers.

The drums were still going, but most of the people had stopped. I could barely breathe, I tried to focus, but all I concentrated on were the sounds. No one said or did anything major; some guy lifted me up, and then I heard Pete's voice; "Hey, is that Naomi?!"

I waved my hand as I coughed on air and struggled in this big guy's arms. I finally saw his face and felt relief when I saw one of Pete and Chris' friends; Charlie. "Yeah!" Charlie had shouted, "She's okay!"

I wasn't okay, I could barely breathe.

"Naomi!" Pete called to me, and I waved my hand again; the room buzzed with whispers. "Bring her up here, man!"

Charlie carried me to the small stage and then settled me on my feet, but that didn't help, because I fell onto my knees. I gasped for air, my hands grabbing Pete's shirt; he carried me off the stage and out the back exit. The cool air made me feel a bit better, but now my stomach was folding and cramping terribly; "Are you okay?"

I gasped like a fish out of water and shook my head, "N-no!"

"Are you hurt? Where does it hurt?"

I pointed to my chest and then my stomach. Pete looked me over and I could see the panic in his eyes; his pupils were large, dilated, "Shit...shit."

I panted, breathing in deep and quick, "I-I'm gonna--gonna throw up..."

Pete rubbed my back as I leaned over and just spewed. I puked until I tasted rust and was short of breath.

"Naomi?!" I heard Kate's voice as she came running out, "Are you okay?"

"Something's wrong," Pete said to her, "I'm taking her home, Kate, tell Chris."

I didn't look at them, my eyes had zoned in on what I saw on the concrete; the moon illuminated the blood in the vomit that was mixed in with digested food. I put my hands to my aching, sore stomach and I was put into a stunned silence.

Pete had picked me up, carrying me off towards his car, where I was still silent. He began to drive and speak, but I hadn't caught exactly what. He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze; "...Navy?"

I looked at him, my breaths were heavy and short, "Huh?"

"Do you feel any better?"

"My stomach hurts." I explained shortly. "Something is wrong."

The look of fear on his face broke my heart, "Do--is the baby--do you wanna go to the hospital?" He stuttered.

"I think so." I breathed out.

"Shit, okay." He let go of my hand to thread it through his hair.

The pain in my gut was unbelievable as the minutes passed; it was turning into period cramps and I knew that I had lost the baby. With my research about it all, the signs were all too clear to ignore. I felt terrible, but not to the extent of tears; it was a shame, I thought, that this happened.

As we closed in on the ER, I had rubbed my stomach and felt the warm of blood coming from between my legs. I turned on the overhead light and then looked down; "Pete," I saw the blood forming a dark stain on my denim shorts, "I think the baby's gone."

Pete nearly swerved, "What?" He looked at my legs, my shorts and sighed deeply, "Oh fuck. Does it hurt?"

"Yeah." I groaned softly.

"I'm so sorry." He mumbled as he looked ahead. "Oh fuck."

"Just keep going." I instructed.

Pete didn't stop until we got to the ER; there was a blood stain on his seat and that's when I started to feel bad. All my priorities were out of whack. I tore my eyes away from the ruined seat and followed Pete inside of the hospital.