Take This to Your Grave

Even though we were happy living together, Pete and I were in this limbo of love and hate. He did moronic and idiotic things that annoyed me to no end, but it was less than endearing. We weren't rich, we didn't have the things we had when we lived with our parents; money was scarce and jobs weren't hiring full time students.

The modeling jobs didn't come so frequently, and the pay was eaten up by our bills. It's fucking expensive being an adult; we always had Mrs. Wentz make us food for dinner, because eating Top Ramen gets tiring after awhile. Pete is a pig, which I had dealt with, and I knew he was, but the littlest messes were starting to irk my nerves. It was like he was trying to piss me off on purpose.

I had tried not yelling at him, but I just couldn't after the millionth mess I cleaned up. All he did was lie on the couch, or swing his goddamn bass around his shoulders and neck until he got rug burn. He kept doing it until he accident swung it too fast, the strap broke and the bass went flying and hit the wall.

I had jumped; I was folding our clothes I had picked up from the laundromat and dropped the basket from our bed to the floor; "What the hell was that?!"

"Uh, my bass."

I went over to the living room and saw the hole that the neck of the bass made. I groaned, "Pete! What the fuck?!"

"I was spinnin' it," he said as he went over and picked it up, "Fuck, I cracked the neck."

"You idiot!" I snapped, "What the fuck were you spinning it for? We rent this apartment, do you know that we won't get a deposit back for putting a hole in the wall?!"

Pete looked at me, "Calm down--"

"A $600 deposit is not a joke, Pete! God, why are you acting like an idiot?"

He laughed, "I was just messing around. Your dad can fix this--"

"My dad can fix it, but he shouldn't have to fix it!" I coursed my hair, "Are you trying to drive me insane?"

"Calm down, take a breath, Navy."

I cursed under my breath and went to the kitchen to get a drink. I opened the fridge and reached for a soda, just as I had, the light bulb in the fridge went out. "Great." I paused when I noticed that the sound of the fridge wasn't buzzing.

"Pete," I called his name as I went to flick on the light, but it didn't turn on, "Pete! Did you pay the electricity like I told you?"

"I paid the cable bill. The stupid pop up notice thing kept comin' on."

"Why the hell did you do that?" I went into the living room where he was fixing his bass strap, "You do understand you need electricity to watch cable, right?"

He looked up at me, "Yeah, so?"

I was ready to throw my soda at him; "Turn the TV on."

Pete raised a brow, grabbed the remote and pressed it towards the TV. Nothing happened, and then he looked back at me, "Oh."

"What were you thinking?" I asked him angrily, "I gave you money to pay the electricity and you pay the cable instead?"

"I thought you were, like, paying ahead."

I shut my eyes and left my soda on the counter; I went to the bedroom and grabbed my backpack. Pete called to me, but I ignored him as I grabbed my homework and a change of clothes. Leaving the bedroom, Pete and I nearly collided; "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to my parents. I can't be around an imbecile like you."

Pete sighed, grabbing my arm, "I didn't know. I'll pay it--"

"How?!" I exclaimed, "That was the last of our money, Peter!"

"I'll ask my dad--"

I growled, "Goddammit! I thought we were in this together! I figure you'd help me just a little, Pete! Can you imagine if we had a kid--"

It was his turn to cut me off, and boy did he cut me off.

"We don't! Thank God! Can you get over it already? We don't have a fucking kid and we won't for a long time!"

It hurt like hell when he said: "Can you get over it already?" I wanted to punch him for saying that to me.

"No, I can't get over it, because I was carrying that baby, not you! I had our dead child inside of me for God knows how long and you have the audacity to ask me to get over it? Fuck you." I shove him and started towards the door.

He grabbed me, "You're not leaving."

"Yes I am." I shoved him again, "I have to study and I'm not gonna be able to do it in the dark."

Pete stepped back, "Whatever, go then."

"I'll be gone awhile," I began to speak sarcastically, heatedly and angrily, "I'm gonna "get over" my issues."

He sighed as I left, slamming the door behind me, causing me to jump.

I wasn't going to cry, though I half expected myself to. I was just so pissed off at Pete and if I rally wanted to fight with him I would've hit him in the face. He just pushed a button that made me want to fly into a rage, I couldn't be around him then.

I drove to my parents without a real thought; my head was blank. I stood outside for a moment, before going in, to clear my head, so I wouldn't arise any suspicion that things were wrong. Finally, I went up to the door and pushed it open; a smile spread across my face when I heard Abbey giggling and my dad baby talking to her.

"Dad?" I called as soon as he stopped talking.

"Naomi?" His voice returned; I entered the living room where he was sitting on the floor with Abbey in his lap. "Hey, what brings you by?"

I sat on the couch, setting my backpack beside me, "To visit...uh, our lights got cut off and I have to study."

My dad frowned slightly, "You missed your bill?"

"Yeah," I decided to lie, "I had to choose between water and electricity, and water seems more efficient than lights."

My dad shook his head, "You sound like me when I was your age. How much is it?"

I put my hand up as he stood and reached for his wallet, with Abbey on his hip; "No, dad, it's okay, you don't--"

He set Abbey in my lap, "You never asked, and you probably never will, Naomi, but I wanna do this."

"Dad, you don't have to." I bounced Abbey, "It's only temporary."

He grabbed his wallet and handed me $200 bills, "Just take it, and I know your probably starving. Amy made some food before she went shopping."

I took the money reluctantly, "I'll pay you back, dad."

"You're my kid," he smiled, "I wouldn't accept it. Where's Pete."

"Uh, he's at band practice."

My dad waved me up, "Come eat, I've gotta feed Abbey, too."


I had fallen asleep on the couch while reading up on my homework, when I felt a hand on my arm. I blinked a bit, my eyes finally fluttering open; "Dad?"

"You can sleep in your room." My dad said.

I got up slowly, rubbing my right eye, and then followed my dad. I had forgotten all my work in the coffee table, just wanting to sleep after reading so much. My dad had pulled the covers back and I slipped inside; he tucked me in, "Thanks, dad."

He kissed the top of my head, "You're welcome, kiddo. Sleep tight."

"I've got a class at 9, wake me before then?"

"Yeah, sure. Goodnight."

I yawned softly, "'Night."

I was steady off to sleep when I heard my dad shut the door behind him. I don't know how long I was asleep before I heard a soft knock on the door and then it opening, the hall light flooding through, "Naomi?"

It was Pete.

I rolled over, sitting up a bit on my side to see his shadow, "Pete."

He came in, shut the door, the room engulfed back into darkness, and the sound if his belt jiggling as he began to loosen it. A moment later he was on the bed, pulling the tucked covers back and getting inside with me. I sighed softly, falling back against the warmth of the pillows; "Are you still mad at me?" He asked quietly.

"I'm tired." I told him.

I felt his lips against my forehead, "Will you come home tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

I felt his arm snake around my waist and pull me closer to him. At that moment, I wasn't mad at him, I was just really tired and didn't have the fight to argue or push him away. My feelings about what he had said were still raw and I was still just a bit ticked off at him.

I heard him hum a soft "I love you" before I ultimately fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of Abbey crying across the hall; Pete's arms were wrapped tightly around my waist. I twisted and tried to remember exactly where I was; it wasn't that far of a stretch, but for a moment, I thought I was in an alternate universe. I rubbed my eyes and squinted, looking at the clock on my desk; it was 7:15 am.

I slowly moved Pete's tight grasp, only to have him grip tighter and roll me on top of him. He smiled tiredly, lazily at me, "You're not getting away that easy."

I sighed softly, "I've got to get up, I've got to finish some work and then go to class."

"Me too." He mumbled.

"You mean you're actually gonna go?" I asked this sarcastically.

"I can't get kicked out, then I can't be a lawyer."

I cocked a brow, "So you're changing your major now?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Look at you, Mr. Peter Wentz, the lawyer."

He huffed a small laugh, "It's a lot easier than being an activist...I'm think I'll be a better lawyer anyway."

I rolled off of him, "C'mon, we gotta go and get ready."

Pete yawned, "Alright,"

The two of us got our clothes on and left my bedroom; Amy was cooing to Abbey when we entered the kitchen. "Hey kids."

"Hey," Pete and I greeted in unison.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starving." Pete replied, "You got waffles?"

"Yep, in the freezer."

"Want some?" Pete asked me.

I nodded, "Yeah."

He gave my cheek a kiss before going to the fridge. Amy smiled at me as we sat; she was feeding Abbey, who looked very displeased to be up so early. I rubbed my eyes and coursed my hair back, "You guys are so cute."

I scoffed, "Thats only when we're not arguing."

Amy's smile fell, "You guys got into a fight?"

I looked at the kitchen and nodded slowly, "Yesterday, yeah. Can I talk to you about this later? I'd really want to...I want to talk to someone, and I don't think Kate will understand."

Amy nodded back at me, "Sure thing, Naomi. I'm gonna take Abbey to the park later, around noon, you can come by then."

I exhaled, "Thanks."

Before she could respond, Pete returned with a glass of orange juice and milk for me. I smiled and thanked him; "The waffles are cookin'."

I hummed a small response, sipping my milk. I was sure that there was some resentment still resting inside of myself and I hated it.


After class, I called Pete to tell him I paid the electricity; he was already there, hanging out with the guys. I was beyond annoyed again, because I knew there'd be a mess I'd have to clean once I got home. I hid the annoyance and went over to my folks again, catching Amy as she was getting Abbey ready.

"We're just about ready," she said as she strapped Abbey into her stroller. "What did you need to talk about?"

I tied my hair up, "Me and Pete."

Amy led the way out and started down the block, "What's going on?"

I sighed, shoving my hands into my sweatshirt's front pocket, "He's such an idiot, and I mean, more so than I really ever thought."

"Well, we never really know someone until we've lived with them."

"No, Amy, it's like he's doing this in purpose. Do you know what he did? He paid the cable bill instead of the electricity, that's why I was at home yesterday."

Amy hummed, "It was probably a mistake, Naomi."

I sighed, "Do you think I'm just jumping to conclusions?"

"I think you're just stressed out."

"I know I am, but it's like he's doing this all to drive me out of my mind." I grumbled, "Can you imagine if we had a kid? We'd be so deep in shit and we would probably hate each other."

"It's a good thing you don't," she relayed, "You two wouldn't last. But, you guys are young and things aren't suppose to be easy, if it was, you wouldn't be together, things wouldn't be as endearing as they are."

"Do you think I'm just...being too hard?"

"Yes, I do." She smiled, "Relax and take a breath."

"I don't want to hate him."

"You don't hate him, he's just getting on your nerves because that's how he is. I'm sure you do things to annoy him."

"I'm like his mother, so I probably do."

"You two need a little space, or maybe to talk things out."

I shook my head, thinking, "I think Pete and I should talk."

"See? That's all, and it'll be easy; go home and sit him down and talk."

I nodded to myself, "Yeah...you're right."