Take This to Your Grave

The next morning, Saturday, I woke up to my dad knocking on my door. I had totally forgotten it was locked; "Naomi! Open the door, why is the door locked? Are you okay?" His words were fast and sputtered.

I jumped out of my bed, "Sorry dad! I'm up." I rushed, unlocked the door and opened it, "I'm sorry... My bad."

My dad smiled; I think, my eyes still had sleep in them and I was blurry. He exhaled, I heard, "Why'd you lock the door?"

"Habit," I mumbled a lie, "Uh, I used to do it at my mom's... Keep the kids out."

"It's okay," I could see him clearly now, "I'm going to meet a friend of mine about some property, do you wanna come?"

"I gotta walk Princess." I explained.

He gave a nod, "Alright. It's only noon," he looked at his watch, "Eat something, I'll be back around 3."

I gave him a thumbs up, "Will do."

He chuckled, "Be careful."

"Always. See ya dad."

"Bye Naomi." He waved as he walked down the hall and to the stairs.

I turned back, going to my bed and falling onto the messy covers and sheets. I couldn't fall back asleep, I wanted to, but my head was already up. I got up and decided to shower.


I had Pete's shirt in one hand as I walked over. He was in the yard, kicking around a soccer ball; "Hey." He said once he saw me.

"Hi. I came to return your shirt and get Princess."

Pete squinted in the light, "Keep the shirt."

I raised a brow, "Why?"

"Looks better on you than me. Besides, I got a million shirts."

I tilted my head at him, "You sure about it?"

He smiled, still squinting, "Yes, what's the big deal?"

I shrugged, "Dunno... It's your shirt, is all."

"Don't worry about it."

"Thanks, I guess."

We just stood there for a moment, quiet. Pete turned away from the sun, "I need to take Pandora out too. Mind if I walk with you?"

I smirked, ready to quip back, but he nudged his head slightly to the left. I looked over slowly and saw Mrs. Wentz watching us from the living room window. She wasn't obvious about it, she was dusting, but watching us.

"I guess." I replied.

"Thanks."

The two of us went inside, where I was greeted by the scent of chocolate chip cookies. I let out a "oh my God" when I got a whiff. Mrs. Wentz came from the living room, "Hello Naomi."

"Hi Mrs. Wentz," I waved. "I'm here to take Princess out."

"Sure thing. But first, do you want some cookies? I made some to send to Hilary away at school."

"I would love some," I muttered without thinking.

Pete laughed, shaking his head, and walking away from us. Mrs. Wentz smiled, "Follow me."

I followed her to the kitchen, setting the t-shirt over my shoulder. Mrs. Wentz put some cookies into a zip-lock bag for me and turned back to me; "What's that?" She pointed to the shirt on my shoulder.

I tried to keep composure. I knew how to lie; I lied to my mom all the time. "I found this in the backyard. Pete says it's his."

Mrs. Wentz sucked her teeth and shook her head disapprovingly, "That boy."

Pete entered the kitchen, "What about me?"

"How did your shirt get in Lee's backyard?"

Pete chuckled; I knew that chuckle. He was laughing at me and my lie. I bit back a smirk. "I was sunbathing."

She rolled her eyes, "Uh-huh. Go on, get outta here. Go take Pandora out."

"I am, I am." Pete went out first, waving to me shortly.

Mrs. Wentz looked to me, "Pete is such a smart-aleck. Don't tangle with him."

I swallowed, "I'm not... He's too old for me anyway."

She smiled, "Age is just a number, Naomi. Charm is all it takes."

I forced a smile back at her, "Yeah, I know what you mean."

She gave me a small pat on my back and sent me on my way. I took Princess's leash, cookies in one hand and left the house. I wasn't sure where to go, since Pete was nowhere insight. I went the usual way, and was surprised to see him at the corner, waiting with Pandora.

(Pandora was a Doberman that was trained so well. She was sweet and very loving. She was kind of dopey, like a puppy almost. She and Princess got along well)

I met Pete; "Did she grill you?"

I shook my head, "She told me not to get tangled up with you."

Pete let out a "ha!" and took the zip-lock bag from me. He grabbed two cookies, handing me one; "Even my mom's against me."

"It's all about parents', Pete. She doesn't want you to get me into trouble and have any beef with my dad."

He looked at me, head tilted as if I had grown an extra head; "Beef? What the hell?"

"You never heard the term Beef before?" I asked.

"No. Not in the terms of having "beef" with anyone." He laughed that infectious laugh.

"It means to have a disagreement, alright? In New York, you pick up habits."

He laughed still, "Beef; that's my new word."

"Well, you're welcome for teaching you a new word."

He shook his head; he was always laughing. Always. At nothing, but I didn't mind it. He seemed to be happy. That smile was a sight for sore eyes.

"Hey," I began as we got quiet and headed to the following block, "Do you have a girlfriend? I mean, you never talk about yourself, I was wondering."

Pete didn't answer right away. His eyes were down, and then he looked up; eyes forward. "There's this one girl... Leah. We've been together, off and on for about 2 years."

My eyes widened, "Wow."

"Nothing to be thrilled about. In those 2 years, I think we've only been together 6 months in total."

"Oh." Was my dumb reply.

"Leah is nice, y'know, but she gets jealous to easily. Remember when you first came over to walk Princess?" I nodded with a small hum. "She got pissed because I talked to you. We're off right now."

"Do you love her?" I asked suddenly; surprising myself.

"Thought I did... I'm just going through the motions, y'know?"

"Not really." I answered truthfully.

He sighed, "Uh, well... I sound like an asshole." We paused so Pandora could mark her territory on an old shrub. "She's just there for me... Y'know?"

His use of "y'know" didn't comprehend with me well. I didn't know... Kind of. "You're just with her to have sex, aren't you?"

He smile sheepishly, "Yeah."

"That's mean." I mumbled, "It's... Barbaric. You can't just string her along--"

"You don't know her like I do, Naomi," Pandora began to walk, so we followed. "Leah... She makes me feel good and she makes me feel like shit. She's the good and bad in my life."

"That's destructive," I retorted quickly, "It's not healthy."

"How would you know?" He quipped back sharply.

"I'm not a fucking idiot!" I snapped back at him. "Just because I never had a relationship with anyone doesn't mean I don't know. My dad had a relationship like that, and it was all bad. This woman used my dad and he got hurt," I confessed, and then repeated: "It's not healthy."

Pete looked forward, and then he sighed, "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay." I mumbled, biting the cookie crumbling in my hand.

After a moment, he asked; "How did your dad handle it?"

"I told you I didn't come visit for two years. My mom said it was to discipline me for being so disobedient, but I know what it was. My dad needed time alone; my parents seem to be friendlier than they want me to believe."

Pete was quiet again, we turned a corner, towards the park. We crossed the street and began to walk around the perimeter of the park.

"I don't like to be alone." He said softly.

"What person does?"

He looked at me again, "I feel like no one understands me."

"Join the club."

All of my comebacks were small, they were in monotone. I didn't know how I came up with quick answers.

"You feel like this, Naomi?" He turned his head forward once more.

I exhaled, "Not all the time, but most of it, Pete. But, I write and paint and listen to music. I keep myself busy."

"It's easy for you, your mind isn't constantly running like mine."

"What do you think about?"

Without missing a beat, he replied; "Dying."