Status: Completed
I've Abandoned Control
Chapter 29
I sighed as I looked at the clock on the bathroom wall. It’s been exactly 3 hours and 45 minutes since Jana sat me down and told me what was going on with Shannon and his ex while he was away on tour. When she told me the news, it took my breath away. I felt physically sick.
“Oh that’s just great,” I huff as I pick up the empty bottle of Merlot beside the bathtub realizing it was now empty. I had just finished my 3rd glass when I decided just to take the whole bottle to the bathroom to take a nice long bubble bath to clear my thoughts. Soaking in the warm bath, I thought about what I was going to say to him when he called me just like he does every day. I thought about not talking to him ever again but I was too curious to know why he was stringing me along and filling my head with this nonsense of how he was falling in love with me. I have been so busy working and taking care of Jana that I’ve hardly had time to talk to him these past few weeks. Maybe that could be it, he’s starving for attention because I haven’t given him enough lately, but if that’s all it took to cheat on me then this was doomed from the start. Whatever it is, I’m not going to be caught in this ridiculous love triangle. We both were adults, I could deal with it if he wanted to be with her and he needed to quit playing games with me.
As I sat in the hot water I thought what would he want me with me anyways? I’m just a plain southern girl from Tennessee. I know absolutely nothing about music, I’m just a registered nurse, I look nothing like these stick thin models with fake blonde hair and fake boobs. The sound of my phone ringing startled me from my thoughts, making me jump, while splashing water all in the floor. I looked over on the stand next to me to see his name flash across the screen., my stomach was in knots as I answered the phone. “Hey babe.. I was just calling to tell you that I miss you,” he said in his sweet charming voice. I felt the blood rush to my face with anger. “Oh really,” I snap “well that’s not what your ex girlfriend was telling Jana!” Silence filled the line, then I heard him nervously mutter out, “What are you talking about?
I couldn’t believe he was going to try to deny it. He had some nerve. I was speechless, after a few minutes of silence he finally spoke. “Paige, I’m sorry. I can explain.“ This entire time I wanted to believe it wasn’t true, but there it was, in his own words, he cheated on me. I should’ve known better to think he wasn’t that type to do that to me, but once again I was wrong. I wanted so badly to curse, yell, do anything, at him, but nothing came out.
“Paige, I never meant to hurt you. I’ve just been so confused lately. I can tell you one thing though, I can’t lose you. Say something! How can I get you to forgive me?“ Hearing those words, all of the emotions I was feeling came crashing down on me. Before I said something I’d regret, I disconnected the call.
After I gained control of my emotions I got out of the bathtub and made my way to the bedroom to see Charlie sleeping peacefully in the middle of my bed. I curl up against him, while petting his head, I said, “your the only man I need in my life sweet boy.” It’s a bittersweet feeling knowing that Charlie will never hurt me but every time I look at him I’m reminded of Shannon.
The next few weeks I tried to stay busy as much as possible to keep my mind off of him. He still called and texted me almost everyday but I haven’t answered him yet. I couldn’t talk to him, not yet anyways. Going to his house almost everyday to see Jana doesn’t really help in blocking him from my mind. She’s been staying almost every night at Jared’s, and I try to hide it from her that how I’m feeling but she sees right through it. I just didn’t want her worrying about me, she already has too much on her plate as it is.
I wanted to explore the city more, I haven’t gotten the chance to really get out. I had met Shannon before I had time to really get settled in and gotten to know the city better. So some girls at work invited me to go out with them this weekend. I was more than happy they invited me to go because this week is when Shannon and Jared are supposed to be coming home from the tour and I don’t want to think about or be anywhere near Shannon when he gets back into town.
“Oh that’s just great,” I huff as I pick up the empty bottle of Merlot beside the bathtub realizing it was now empty. I had just finished my 3rd glass when I decided just to take the whole bottle to the bathroom to take a nice long bubble bath to clear my thoughts. Soaking in the warm bath, I thought about what I was going to say to him when he called me just like he does every day. I thought about not talking to him ever again but I was too curious to know why he was stringing me along and filling my head with this nonsense of how he was falling in love with me. I have been so busy working and taking care of Jana that I’ve hardly had time to talk to him these past few weeks. Maybe that could be it, he’s starving for attention because I haven’t given him enough lately, but if that’s all it took to cheat on me then this was doomed from the start. Whatever it is, I’m not going to be caught in this ridiculous love triangle. We both were adults, I could deal with it if he wanted to be with her and he needed to quit playing games with me.
As I sat in the hot water I thought what would he want me with me anyways? I’m just a plain southern girl from Tennessee. I know absolutely nothing about music, I’m just a registered nurse, I look nothing like these stick thin models with fake blonde hair and fake boobs. The sound of my phone ringing startled me from my thoughts, making me jump, while splashing water all in the floor. I looked over on the stand next to me to see his name flash across the screen., my stomach was in knots as I answered the phone. “Hey babe.. I was just calling to tell you that I miss you,” he said in his sweet charming voice. I felt the blood rush to my face with anger. “Oh really,” I snap “well that’s not what your ex girlfriend was telling Jana!” Silence filled the line, then I heard him nervously mutter out, “What are you talking about?
I couldn’t believe he was going to try to deny it. He had some nerve. I was speechless, after a few minutes of silence he finally spoke. “Paige, I’m sorry. I can explain.“ This entire time I wanted to believe it wasn’t true, but there it was, in his own words, he cheated on me. I should’ve known better to think he wasn’t that type to do that to me, but once again I was wrong. I wanted so badly to curse, yell, do anything, at him, but nothing came out.
“Paige, I never meant to hurt you. I’ve just been so confused lately. I can tell you one thing though, I can’t lose you. Say something! How can I get you to forgive me?“ Hearing those words, all of the emotions I was feeling came crashing down on me. Before I said something I’d regret, I disconnected the call.
After I gained control of my emotions I got out of the bathtub and made my way to the bedroom to see Charlie sleeping peacefully in the middle of my bed. I curl up against him, while petting his head, I said, “your the only man I need in my life sweet boy.” It’s a bittersweet feeling knowing that Charlie will never hurt me but every time I look at him I’m reminded of Shannon.
The next few weeks I tried to stay busy as much as possible to keep my mind off of him. He still called and texted me almost everyday but I haven’t answered him yet. I couldn’t talk to him, not yet anyways. Going to his house almost everyday to see Jana doesn’t really help in blocking him from my mind. She’s been staying almost every night at Jared’s, and I try to hide it from her that how I’m feeling but she sees right through it. I just didn’t want her worrying about me, she already has too much on her plate as it is.
I wanted to explore the city more, I haven’t gotten the chance to really get out. I had met Shannon before I had time to really get settled in and gotten to know the city better. So some girls at work invited me to go out with them this weekend. I was more than happy they invited me to go because this week is when Shannon and Jared are supposed to be coming home from the tour and I don’t want to think about or be anywhere near Shannon when he gets back into town.