Status: Completed
I've Abandoned Control
Chapter 37
The benefit show was nothing but awkward for me. Every time Evan looked my way I could feel Shannon’s eyes burning a hole through me. I tried not to look at either of them, but when I did make contact with one of them, I shot them a friendly smile. Since Shannon and I had worked things out he’s been a bit over-bearing, the trust that we used to have is gone. When he’s not with me my mind wonders to if he’s sneaking around with Maria again. A part of me, can’t really blame him, since we dove in head first in a relationship, I never really took a moment and thought if he still had feelings for her. His behavior was still inexcusable, but I gave in and gave him a second chance, his last chance.
My nerves have been all over the place here lately, I’m constantly worrying about Jana and the baby. If anything happens to her I really don’t know what I will do. We have been best friends since we were kids, we’ve never been apart for more than a few weeks at a time so losing her would be like losing a part of myself and I don’t know how I would deal with that. I lost my appetite weeks ago, I can’t hold anything down. I’ve became depressed, I don’t want to go anywhere or much less do anything. So when Shannon called asking if I wanted to come watch movies at his place, I was more than happy to. I loved nights like this just laying in his arms for hours while he ran his fingers through my hair and snuck in kisses every so often. Looking up at him I gave him a tender kiss on his lips, I could feel his hand slide down to my hips and stop. He pulled away from me and sighed, “Okay, Paige we have to talk about what’s going on with you.” I looked at him with a puzzled look on my face.
“You don’t eat hardly anything at all and now you are losing weight so fast! I’m worried about you. I think you need to see someone about this!” he shouted.
I could feel the anger rush through me from hearing his words, “I think you can kiss my ass! I don’t need to go see anyone. Excuse me for worrying because my best friend could die!” Before I knew it he had me in his arms hugging my tightly, I dug my face into his chest and I could feel the wetness on his shirt from my tears. Stroking my hair he said, “It’s okay to worry about her. We all are worried about her but you can’t put yourself through this. I feel like I’m watching you slowly wither away. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you Paige.” He took his fingers and lifted my chin up to where I was looking him in the eyes and said, “I love you Paige”, and pressed his lips to mine.
My mind went into overdrive, I was no where near ready for this. I knew I cared deeply for him, but I hadn’t thought about the L word. In a panic I pulled away from him and started gathering my things up, “I can’t do this Shannon. I’m not ready, I’m so sorry!” I slipped out the door without looking back.
After laying on my bed, thinking about his words, I decided I needed to get out for awhile. Surprisingly, he hadn’t tried to call or text, which was good for me right now. I needed to do a lot of thinking and I didn’t need him pressuring me. So, I texted the only person who could make me laugh and forget about the world for a moment, Evan.
My nerves have been all over the place here lately, I’m constantly worrying about Jana and the baby. If anything happens to her I really don’t know what I will do. We have been best friends since we were kids, we’ve never been apart for more than a few weeks at a time so losing her would be like losing a part of myself and I don’t know how I would deal with that. I lost my appetite weeks ago, I can’t hold anything down. I’ve became depressed, I don’t want to go anywhere or much less do anything. So when Shannon called asking if I wanted to come watch movies at his place, I was more than happy to. I loved nights like this just laying in his arms for hours while he ran his fingers through my hair and snuck in kisses every so often. Looking up at him I gave him a tender kiss on his lips, I could feel his hand slide down to my hips and stop. He pulled away from me and sighed, “Okay, Paige we have to talk about what’s going on with you.” I looked at him with a puzzled look on my face.
“You don’t eat hardly anything at all and now you are losing weight so fast! I’m worried about you. I think you need to see someone about this!” he shouted.
I could feel the anger rush through me from hearing his words, “I think you can kiss my ass! I don’t need to go see anyone. Excuse me for worrying because my best friend could die!” Before I knew it he had me in his arms hugging my tightly, I dug my face into his chest and I could feel the wetness on his shirt from my tears. Stroking my hair he said, “It’s okay to worry about her. We all are worried about her but you can’t put yourself through this. I feel like I’m watching you slowly wither away. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you Paige.” He took his fingers and lifted my chin up to where I was looking him in the eyes and said, “I love you Paige”, and pressed his lips to mine.
My mind went into overdrive, I was no where near ready for this. I knew I cared deeply for him, but I hadn’t thought about the L word. In a panic I pulled away from him and started gathering my things up, “I can’t do this Shannon. I’m not ready, I’m so sorry!” I slipped out the door without looking back.
After laying on my bed, thinking about his words, I decided I needed to get out for awhile. Surprisingly, he hadn’t tried to call or text, which was good for me right now. I needed to do a lot of thinking and I didn’t need him pressuring me. So, I texted the only person who could make me laugh and forget about the world for a moment, Evan.