Destined to Explode

“Robbie!” I yelled as I ran into the arms of my big brother. The comfort of his arms got me to start thinking, about when it all started going wrong. Right before I lost everything. Before I lost . . . him. That was the first step in my life completely crumbling. It was one thing after another. I had thought life after graduation would be so much easier, but it wasn’t. It was so much harder than I ever could have imagined. All my friends had left me, besides one, and they were all going to far off colleges and I was staying behind. I was so broken that I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where to start to fix myself.

“I told you I hate being called that,” He spoke into my ear softly, like he was afraid if he spoke too loudly or let me go I would shatter. My best friend in the whole world was my older brother, Robert Rian Dawson, drummer for the one and only All Time Low. I was the luckiest girl in the world to have those three in my life, and I say three because me and Mr. Zack Merrick are on less than friendly terms. Which may be shocking since he’s just so sweet. Please note the sarcasm. He’s a dick.

“Yeah, but you love me more than you hate it,” I told him pulling away and offering a soft smile. I was hoping it actually looked like a smile because it was hard to remember how at this point. They had been gone for the better part of 3 years. I saw them for a few weeks here and there but it wasn’t the same. I felt terrible that it was all because of me they were back now. But I love the fact that they are home.

“What do I not get any love?” I heard the smooth voice of my second love. Alexander William Gaskarth, the man with the lovely voice. If there was anything I felt uncomfortable telling my brother, he was always the first person I went to. I trusted him with my life and my secrets and he trusted me with his.

“Of course you get love, but shouldn’t you be saving that love for Ryla?” I asked him wiggling my eyebrows and giggling. These two brought out the best in me. I finally felt alive again as I saw him roll his eyes at me. I swear those two were meant to be, they were both in denial though. They just wouldn’t accept that you can cut the sexual tension with a dull spoon. But whenever anyone brought it up they would both just blame it on me and Zack. I think they confuse sexual tension with the undeniable urge to castrate someone.

“Shouldn’t you be saving your love for Zachary?” He replied smiling like it was the best comeback in the world. I just rolled my eyes and jumped into his arms. He pulled me tight enough that my back cracked and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I missed you too best friend,” I breathed out, treasuring his scent. It smelled like home. I pulled away, and grabbed both his and Rian’s hand while dragging them into the house. Of course Rian was very familiar with this house since it was his, I began staying here while they were gone. Our parents didn’t necessarily care what I did, they knew Rian had scolded me and taught me well.

“God it feels good to be home. It has been way to long,” Rian sighed as he fell onto his couch. Alex and I were quick to follow. Being without them these last couple of years was terrible. Not having them around me constantly was an absolute nightmare. I never had friends my own age because I was always around them. I never even acted like a normal teenager cause I didn’t want to make life even more difficult for Rian. He loved me so much he always wanted me around him and his friends and when you are so much younger a lot of them ditched him when we were younger. Finally, he found these guys and we both got the best friends in the world.

“It feels good to have you home, you have no idea how much I missed you,” I spoke softly as I looked down at my hands. I didn’t want to make them feel any worse than they already did for being gone. I loved that they were doing something that they loved.

“Hey, we were gonna wait til dinner to tell you this but I think we can both agree that we need your beautiful smile right now,” Alex started as he grabbed my hand and was softly rubbing the back of my hand. It was the most comforting thing anyone’s done for me since the day it started.

“When we go back on tour, you are gonna come with us. Flyzik said you could come out and be his assistant, learn the ropes, and help him out. What do you say baby boo?” Rian finished. I looked in both of their eyes hoping that this wasn’t just some sick joke. Both pairs of eyes held only seriousness. I screamed as I threw myself at both of them, crying tears of happiness for once.

“This was not supposed to make you cry, Bell-Bear. I thought we were gonna get you to smile!” Alex exclaimed while wiping away my tears as quickly as they were falling. I couldn’t help but laugh at his frustrated expression.

“These are happy tears. I cannot believe that I get to come with you. This is the best thing that’s happened to me in a really long time,” I told them as my tears slowly stopped flowing. I had the biggest smile on my face and I was starting to see the light again. I needed these boys to pull me out of the darkness that I had gotten lost in.

“It gets even better,” Rian started waiting for Alex to finish his sentence. I was finding it extremely hard to believe that it could even get any better. I looked at them in anticipation and watched as they looked back and forth at each other.

“RYLA’S COMING WITH US!” My two favorite men yelled. My mouth dropped and I quickly engulfed them in hugs once again. I knew that being on a tour bus with my least favorite person would probably be balanced out with the fact that my three favorite people will me there as well. Even though I wanted this so badly that my bones ached for it, I couldn’t help but be a little anxious.

“No way! Wait . . . when do we leave?” I hesitantly asked, they had never told me how long they were staying. But I knew that it couldn’t be long, they had a record to record and a tour soon.

“Uh . . . three days,” Alex replied softly. I couldn’t believe that I had to be ready to leave in three days. This was about to be a very interesting three days followed by the most interesting couple of months I have ever been through.

“Well, let’s get this part started,” I replied a huge smile. The boys looked at each other probably realizing that I was starting to look like the girl they used to know. But I knew better than to be too hopeful. There was only so long that this could last.