Destined to Explode

*Ryla*

“You dirty, rotten, no good, son of a bitch! Do you have any idea what you just did?” I yelled advancing towards Zack only to be stopped by Alex. He looked just as pissed as I was if not more. Devon was his best friend and hearing all of that hurt him almost as much as it hurt B.

“She might have someone holding her back, but I don’t. I have let this go on for far too long because you are my best friend. But that girl you just broke is my sister. That man was the love of her life and he treasured her. That’s exactly how she should be treated and you should be ashamed of what you have been doing. Right now I can barely even look at you, that’s how angry I am. So if you look at, breath towards, or even think about my little sister ever again, I’ll do way worse than what I’m about to do,” Rian interjected. Zack looked confused before Rian pulled back his fist and slammed a punch into the side of Zack’s face. He crumpled into the ground as Rian walked over him and back to wear B had disappeared to.

“Well . . . I just don’t know what to do right now,” Jack spoke up from the couch. As pissed as I was at Zack, I broke out of Alex’s grip to get some peas for the bruise bound to form on Zack’s face. I threw them at his still crumpled form on the ground. He slowly grabbed it and pressed it against his face.

“You better hope that what you just did is fixable. If it’s not, I swear to God, Zack. What is wrong with you? How could you even do that?” Alex asked him. He was slowly getting up off the floor at this point and his face was a mix of pain and disbelief. The place where Rian had just punched was a bright red.

“I had no idea what I was starting. I . . . don’t know what I just started. She’ll never forgive me for this will she?” He asked looking to me with slight tear in his eyes. I could tell he was feeling regret for what he did but I had best friend code that told me not to help him.

“Of course she’ll forgive you. She doesn’t know any better. You’ll say your sweet words and she’ll believe them. But her brother isn’t that forgiving. You just messed with the wrong broken heart,” I replied walking back to the bunks where I knew Rian and B were. I heard the crying before I saw the two of them in the very back lounge. B was crumpled in Rian’s arms and he was holding back his tears.

“I was getting better, Rian. I was gonna be happy for him, and now I just don’t know what to do. Zack’s right . . . I’m not good enough. Those guys were pointing the gun at me, he should be here for you guys. He should have seen the new record and all the tours. But because of me he’s gone. Now I don’t know what to do,” B spoke softly, voice hoarse from crying. It broke my heart to see here like this again. It was just like the first couple nights.

“Boo, you are still gonna get better, he’s an idiot. He had no idea what he was talking about and he was trying to push your buttons because he likes you. He’s an immature idiot who doesn’t know how to deal with it but he likes you. And none of that is true, you are perfectly good enough. And you deserve better than him in this state,” Rian spoke trying to soothe her. I started to rub her back so she knew I was there.

“Honey, Devon was so in love with you it wasn’t even funny. And he would be devastated if he knew what you were going through right now. He went in front of you because he couldn’t imagine this world without you and that’s what that means and that’s what that ring around your neck means. He’s watching all of us right now and you know it. Those little moments you are always talking about are true and he’s here. Just because you can’t see him doesn’t mean anything,” I said softly trying to break her out of this funk before it started again.

“But he’s not here, is he? You keep saying that like I could touch him. Or I could kiss him. But I can’t do any of that because he’s dead. And this ring means that I will be alone for the rest of my life because I lost the one person that will love me? What am I supposed to do now? No man will ever compare to him. No man could fill his shoes!” She yelled at me while pulling away from Rian. Her face was covered in tears and bright red. The tears Rian had been holding in had been let go as she was talking and it was breaking my heart.

“Bellani Marie Dawson. Shut the fuck up. Now I love you just as much as the rest of them but I won’t let you talk like that. Devon fucking died because he loved you. He wanted you to live more than he did. Do you know what that even means? He wants you to be happy. He wants you to smile and when you hear his name he wants you to treasure those memories. And I get it, it’s hard. He was my best friend and he died saving my other best friends life. And as much as I miss him, I thank God that he did what he did. Because if I had lost you . . . if Ryla or Rian lost you, we would be broken. There might not be a band left for Devon to see. So because of him, we’re saved and you are saved. So treasure that, remember that. Cause if you don’t, Devon died in vain,” Alex spoke breaking his silence. He was so angry he was shaking. B looked shocked that he had just said that to her, but the glazed look in her eye was gone. That may have been exactly what she needed.

Alex made his way into the empty back lounge. I looked over to B for some sign that she’d be okay and she gave me a slight nod. I followed Alex and found him on the sofa with his head in his hands. Slowly I sat behind him and began giving him a slight back massage. I could feel him loosen up and begin to calm down.

“She needed that. I don’t know how you know exactly what she needs, but sometimes I wish I had the relationship and knowledge you did,” I admitted to him, leaning my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arms and legs around his torso and waist. There’s no hiding the fact that I had to world’s biggest crush on this fool. Everyone knew besides him apparently. I felt his hands slowly rub my calves and I fell in love with the butterflies erupting in my stomach.

“I had my own personal encyclopedia of all that is Bellani, actually I had two, but Devon knew every little thing about her. He knew exactly when she needed to be yelled at, and exactly when she just needed someone to listen. When they first started dating, he would tell me everything. Their first fight he came over to my place, and I had never seen him cry, but this dude was broken. He already knew they were gonna be together forever and he was lost. I tried all day to get him to snap out of it, but she called that night scared shitless of something and I have never seen him move so fast in my life,” he spoke softly and let a smile form on his lips. I knew exactly when he was talking about. She had called me right after it happened sobbing, can’t even remember what they were fighting about now, that’s how stupid it was. So I bought some ice cream and got over their as fast as I could. As we were watching some chick flick it sounded like someone was trying to break in and faster than I could even dial 9-1-1, she had Devon on the phone and on his way.

“It was that damn ice machine that never worked right. It made some rumbling noise and we were convinced someone was trying to break in. Devon gets there and checks all around the house to make sure no one was there. Finally, we walk in the kitchen to get more ice cream, and the entire ice maker is broken and has fallen down the freezer. I had never seen him laugh so hard in my life,” I admitted to Alex. We tried to keep anyone from knowing what exactly happened cause we were embarrassed. Bell gave him the puppy dog eyes and he swore that he wouldn’t tell. That man was more devoted to her than most husbands were even after 60 years of marriage.

“You have got to be kidding me? He never said a word. When he came back it was like the fight never happened and when I asked why he left so fast he just said that when the love of his life needed him, he was gonna be there,” Alex said while laughing softly. The tone in his voice was one I hadn’t heard him use before. It was like he was completely unsure that was he was saying was okay. I could tell he felt like he was walking on uncharted territory even though Bell wasn’t in the room. We never even really said his name before now.

“Just a few nights later he told me he loved me for the first time. He was fixing that damn freezer and he just stopped and turned to me. He told me that he would never love someone again. And I got really scared cause I thought that meant he could never love me. But then he walked over to me and grabbed me and told me that his heart would forever be with me and he had never been so in love with someone in his life,” we heard coming from the doorway. Bell stood there and spoke quietly as if she was afraid to remember. If I was unsure about Alex ever talking about Dev, I knew that I had not once heard her talk about any of their memories.

“You called me freaking out. Literally all I heard on the phone was screaming and I thought you were dying,” I remembered feeling Alex laugh in my arms. Bell smiled. It was one I hadn’t seen on her face since Dev died and I knew she was living in that memory right now.

“He was still there. He was downstairs still trying to fix that god damn ice maker. He heard me screaming and once again came running. He saw me on the phone and just started dying of laughter. He gave me the biggest smile I’ve ever seen and told me he was gonna marry me one day and he can’t wait to hear the phone call you got then,” she laughed and sat down next to me and Alex and grabbed his hand. He looked over at her with a small smile on his face, but I could see the gears in his head turning.

“I’m sorry for saying what I did, Boo. I just couldn’t stand to see you hurting like that. Dev died to make you happy, I just need you to know that,” he spoke while looking back at their connected hands. Sometimes it made me jealous how much he loved Bell. But I always knew it was never as more than friends. And since Dev died, he felt this need to protect her from all the bad that he could.

“Lexie, I needed that. You always know what to do to get me to snap out of it, just like Devon did. It’s like he wrote you a fucking book. Just reliving that day was hard. And sometimes I forget that he’s right here with me. That’s what this ring means, not that I’ll be forever alone but that I’ll always have him,” she admitted smiling softly, and holding the ring softly between her fingers. Some days she’d actually put it on her finger, I knew that it was because it made her feel close to him again. Before we could have anymore brilliant heart to hearts there was a knock on the door and slowly it opened to reveal Zack with his fresh black eye. Alex tensed up underneath me and I just stared up at the asshole who nearly broke my best friend.