Talk Is Cheap

After the night at the club, Nicole tried returning to her regular life. She tried forgetting about Niall, Harry, and the boys of ‘One Direction’. It was easier said than done, but she gave it a decent go. She avoided her phone for days, leaving it on silent and hiding it away in her knicker drawer. She avoided the T.V. and focused mainly on her school work because midterms were roughly a month away and she wanted to do extremely well.

She hadn’t talked to Sage much in the past few days. Her silvery, purple-haired flatmate was quite busy with work and her art pieces. Every morning when Nicole woke up, there would new piles of rubbish scattered around the flat and Sage would already be gone for her morning shift at the diner.

On this particular morning, something felt different. Nicole had been up all night studying for an exam and woke up closer to noon that usual. She probably would have slept longer if someone’s phone wasn’t going off every half hour or so, forcing Nicole to ultimately drag herself out of bed in order to turn the obnoxious thing off. Resting against the wall outside her bedroom was Sage’s iPhone. Nicole eyed it suspiciously, wondering how it ended up there and why her mate had forgotten to take it with her to work. Abruptly, the phone lit up and started blasting “Young, Wild and Free” while vibrating against the wall. It amazed Nicole that such a small device could create such an enormous racquet. Quite annoyed, she picked the phone off the floor and silenced it without paying any attention who was calling. Across the screen there were 23 missed calls displayed, causing Nicole to become quite confused as to why anyone would need so badly to get in contact with Sage.

The brunette walked further down the corridor and towards the living room, paying no attention to the mostly naked girl sprawled out on the couch. Just as she turned to the kitchen, a mess of purple hair caught her eye. Quickly she spun around and spotted Sage and it wasn’t clear if she was breathing or not. Her pale face was pressed against the back cushion, her long legs resting limply over the arm of the couch, and her arms were dangling awkwardly off to the side. Nicole remained stationary for a moment, completely taken aback by the situation. For all she knew, her best mate was dead. Harshly, she ran over to the motionless body and began shaking it until getting some response. Sage released a deep, heavy breath, causing Nicole to sigh in relief as she stumbled backwards, resting against the nearby coffee table.

“What the hell Sage?” Nicole exclaimed, flicking her mate’s arm in order to get any kind of reaction from her. “You obviously got too pissed last night, you had me worried shitless!”

Sage grunted, acknowledging her mate’s presence, but she was still too drained from the previous night to make an attempt at forming words. Nicole looked at the fair-skinned girl with an amused expression. Sage wasn’t the type to get bloody awful hangovers, so it was funny to see her so vulnerable. Nicole ultimately decided to let her get some rest before pressing her hands against the coffee table in order to hoist herself up. Her fingers became coated in a white, floury substance that Nicole immediately recognized. She began looking around the room, spotting the powder in various places on the table and floor. The contents of Sage’s wallet were scattered everywhere, including a few rolled up, 20
Euro bills and cocaine coated credit cards.

“Are you fucking serious?” Nicole screamed, forcing Sage to cover her ears with her hands. “You’re fucking coked out right now?”

“Calm your tits, Nick.” Sage managed to mutter, squeezing her eyes shut. She’d been up all night, letting the effects of the drug wear off as she worked like a mad-woman on one of her sculptures.

“Is that who’s been fucking calling all morning? You’re fucking dealer?”

“It’s just work calling me.” Sage replied, Nicole’s enraged behavior not bothering her slightly. “I missed my shift obviously.”

“They’ve called you a million times, so you probably got fired again, so my parents will have to pay this month’s rent all on their own again.”

“Sorry my parents don’t pay my rent Nicole, you have it so fucking hard.”

“That’s your own fault. If you hadn’t dropped out of school-”

“I’m pursuing my dream of becoming an artist-”

“Really? Because I haven’t seen you finish a piece in months. All I see is this shit lying around the flat, making it smell like a fucking garbage dump because you’re too busy supporting your coke addiction to accomplish anything with this rubbish!”

“Fuck you, Nick. You know I’m not addicted to fucking cocaine. Someone at work had extra last night and gave it to me for free. Sorry I decided to have a little fun.”

“You know how I am about drugs, Sage.”

“No, actually I don’t because you’re too fucked up in the head to tell me, your best mate, about what happened to your poor mummy back in secondary school. I’m only left to guess and tip toe around egg shells because you won’t tell me what happened. I’m fucking tired of it. You know everything about me, but I hardly know two fucking things about you.”

“You’re unbelievable, really.” Nicole said, finally standing up and walking towards the door. She pulled on the first jumper she could find and slipped into a pair of trainers. “If you do coke again, I will fucking move out and never talk to you again.”

“You’re mental Nicole. Ever since you started spending time with that over-rated, pop, boy-band you’ve been in a shitty mood, and I’m over it.”

Nicole didn’t bother replying; she stormed out of the flat before slamming the front door behind her. She ran down the three flights of stairs to the parking lot, tears streaming down her face, making her horrid appearance possibly 10 times worse. She wanted to tell Sage about her mum and all the shitty things that happened when she was 15, but it was too hard. It was almost three years since her mother’s death, but the tragedy still haunted her. She had frequent nightmares about it, each one more vivid than the last, forcing Nicole to practically relive the death a few times a month. For a while, she had been scared of going to sleep, scared that her mother’s dead eyes would appear in her dreams, but eventually she learned to cope with it. Only one person knew every horrifying detail involving her mum and the nightmares, and without him, Nicole wasn’t sure where’d she’d be. He saved her, and no one knew it, not even him.

She stopped running half-way to her car once realizing she didn’t have the keys. She bent over, resting her hands on her knees as she attempted to catch her breath. She screamed loudly, not caring who heard her, she was so emotionally broken that screaming felt like the most rational thing to do.

The cold, London air nipped at her nose and cheeks, and her ears began to ache as the icy wind blew past them. She ran her tongue over her cracked, full lips as she yearned for a tube of Chap Stick. After a few minutes of panting and shouting, she straightened her back and pulled at the sleeves of her white jumper until the fabric covered her fingers. She wiped the lingering tears away from her cheeks with the back of her hand before crossing the parking lot back towards the flat complex. She wasn’t ready to face Sage yet. The pair never usually got in fights, but when they did, they were explosive. By tomorrow, everything would be mostly back to normal, and in a few days both girls would completely forget every harsh word the other had said. Nicole truly did feel bad for completely blowing up on Sage, but watching a person she loves fuck around with the same bad habit that killed her mother and destroyed her family affected her more than she cared to say. All she knew was she wasn’t going to let that happen again. She wasn’t going to let a stupid drug kill another loved one, because if that happened, Nicole was sure she’d die along with them.

“Nicole,” a soft voice whispered, and she whipped around quickly to see who was there. For a second, Nicole couldn’t breathe. Her olive eyes traveled over the tall boy leaning against his black Audi, and she wanted scream or pull out her hair. Seeing him made her sick in her stomach. She was already having a shitty day without tossing Harry Styles into the mix.

“How do you know where I live?”

“Louis told me.” Of course, that idiotic arse had something to do with this.

“What the fuck do you want?” she snapped, not in the mood for chit chat. She was already so mad, and had never had the chance to properly tell Harry how badly he’d screwed her over, so it excited her that she’d finally get yell at him, face to face, and hopefully make him cry.

“To talk.”

“About what,” she demanded, hot tears welling up in her eyes again. She crossed her arms against her chest and narrowed her eyes in his direction. “About that 20 second phone call we shared two years ago? Or the fact that you spent all that time on the ‘X-Factor’ acting like you didn’t have an adoring girlfriend back home? Or, should we talk about that slag you kept dangling in front of my face the other night? Take your pick Harry, or would you like me to keep going?”

“I-I uh,” he stammered, unable to form sentences. She was clearly upset, and had every reason to be, but Harry couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more fueling her anger that just him.

“Are you going to say something? I thought you wanted to talk? I don’t have time to fuck around.”

“I-I’m s-sorry.” He muttered and Nicole began laughing bitterly. He looked at her with questioning eyes, wondering what she found so amusing.

“Seriously? You’re sorry? That’s all you came here to say? What does that even fucking mean?”

“I’m trying to apologize, Nicole!” he said loudly, shoving his hands in his pockets. She arched an eyebrow, and eyed him carefully. He expected her to just forgive him, after all this time he wanted her to forget how he treated her like shit and move on.

“It’s a little late for that, Harry.” She told him, turning on her heel to walk away, and she also didn’t want him to see her cry. She didn’t have time for his bullshit anymore. If he honestly thought a mere ‘I’m sorry’ would fix things between them he was way off course. Usually, she forgave easily, but not when it came to him or when the apology was a couple years too late.

“I fucked up, okay?” he called after her, and she stuttered her step, listening to him without turning around. “I treated you horribly, and you deserve so much better than that. I’m so sorry, and I wish I could make it up to you.”

Nicole listed to his feet drag across the pavement as he walked towards her, reaching to grab her shoulder when he was within arm’s length. His warm fingers brushed against her visible, cold skin, and she stiffened beneath his touch. Her eyelids fluttered closed as his soft, familiar hands ran down her arms and around her wrists before his reconizable, minty smell tickled her nose. A warm sensation made its way through her body, and she relaxed a moment, falling backwards against his chest. The minutes his strong arms wrapped around her waist she mentally cursed herself, and turned around quickly, smacking him in the face with her long hair. She hated the affect he had on her, even when the only feelings she had towards him was hate, she still couldn’t keep herself from missing him and wanting him back.

“Don’t you dare do this.” She demanded, balling her hands into fists. She began hitting him multiple times in the chest, her hands taking turns pounding against him with as much strength as she could muster up. Tears were falling steadily from her eyes, and she could barely see. He let her hit him, not even slightly attempting to get away. She needed to do this, and he understood. He deserved to be her punching bag for as long as she liked. “Stop making me miss you.”

Eventually, she collapsed in his arms, her body no longer physically able to hold itself up. He wrapped her securely against his chest, resting his head on her shoulder as she cried uncontrollably and soaked his shirt with tears. He hated knowing he made her feel like this. She didn’t deserve it at all. It hurt him to see her cry, especially knowing he was the reason for her tears. He’d caused the poor girl years of hurt, and there was nothing he could honestly do to make it even a little bit better. He knew what he had to do, even though it pained him more than anything to say it.

“You should be with Niall, he really fancies you.”

Nicole almost thought she hadn’t heard him correctly, after all she was hyper-ventilating quite a bit and everything was so mixed up at the moment. She pulled her head backwards enough so she could look up at him through her eyelashes. His green eyes looked sad, and were filled with so many emotions which made it hard for Nicole to read him.

“I promise not to act like an arse anymore.”

“Thank you,” Nicole muttered before hiding her face in his shirt again. If Harry stopped trying to make her jealous, she honestly thought she had a real shot at working things through with Niall. And maybe, just maybe, her and Harry could be somewhat mates again.

Harry peered down at the broken girl in his arms, wanting nothing more than to kiss all her tears away, but he knew he couldn’t be that person for her anymore, at least not now. As the pair remained standing in the middle of the parking lot, their bodies tangled together, all he could think was ‘if you love someone, let them go, and if they come back to you, they’re yours forever’.