Always Watching

I want to tell you that you’ve won, I’ve given up, I’ve given in.

You have what you want; I’m out of your life forever.

This is what you’ve been telling me for months and month’s right?

That I’m a freak and everything I like is all wrong in the world we live in?

Well I finally agree and there is no point me being here. I hate it and can’t take it.

The first time was in when we were first put on this place, do you remember? I didn’t know anybody here, I had just seen my parents be tortured and I never new what had happened to Clay. But you didn’t care did you, you found it an honour to be taken from you home, friends and family and put in a place were you didn’t know anybody!

I was so scared, but you and your ‘friends’ made it impossible for me to find anybody who I could talk to, I just didn’t know what to do. Every day we would be forced to different exercises while they pumped poison into our bodies.

The thing that pushed me over the edge was last week, that’s when I finally decided to right this letter to you and disappear.

I was at my own at lunch, as usual and I was just sketching in my art book. Pictures of Canemo, I had to remember, I had to think that we were still connected that we would never forget each other; even though I didn’t even know if they were still alive.

You came over and with that earth girl. Jessica.

You would always call me ‘emo!’ It was an earth word I didn’t even know what it meant!

I wanted to scream at you ‘I’m not a bloody emo!’ I wanted to but I’ve never had the confidence to stand up for myself, you took that away from me along with everything else.

You then grabbed my sketch book ripped out the pages that I had just been working on and ripped them in half and then half again in front of my eyes. I just sat there and watched you go back to your ‘friends’ who just stood there laughing at me acting as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

You ripped all I had, that was all I wanted my family and that was all I had of them and you took that away. I was living for them, I always thought while those picture were still around then they would always be alive. The pictures were gone and in my heart so had I.

So I will never see you read this or know the reaction of this letter, whether you will be, how I imagine, happy that you’ve finally rid of me; or show remorse for what you put me through.

Even though I imagine it will be the first I would like to think it would be the latter and that others don’t have to feel what I’ve felt from you.

I’m actually happy about this. I will be with my family, there is nothing left here and I will see Clay again. Also I know any world I go to know will be better then this.

Yours truly,
Emo Kid
xoxo