Feet First

“Has he texted you yet?” Sam asked from probably the seventh time since All Time Low had gotten off stage.

“Nope.” I didn’t want to be sassy about him asking again, because I knew how excited they were.

They’d met the band before after shows, but never hung out with them like they were about to, and this was truly exciting for them.

I looked around at all of them eagerly waiting for my phone to buzz.

Frankly, I thought it was really awesome and adorable that they could get so excited about this, because I for one, was not.

I’d avoided their questions about the guys, like “What were they like in high school?” or “We’re you guys really close?”

They avoided the topic of Annie because they knew I didn’t like talking about it.

I thought back to how Alex was so nice to the boys and me. He was so genuine about liking our set, and it was nice of him to even stop by and watch it. And it was so sweet to offer the guys to hang out with his band, beyond sweet really.

He’d changed a lot since high school, well at least I thought he had.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.

All the guys heard it and jumped up, asking me what it said.

“He says we can all climb aboard their bus whenever, it’s the third one down in the first row of buses.”

“Okay, we’ll go in a minute, we don’t wanna seem to ready.” Matt said.

“Matt, this isn’t a date, we’re not playing hard to get.” Sam said.

“But we wanna be friends with them not like, creepy fanboys.” Andrew commented.

“Okay, okay. I see your point we’ll go in a minute.” Sam agreed.

I smiled, it made me happy how happy they were.

All sitting around with big smiles on their faces, all so ready to get up and run onto that bus.

After about two minutes they all got really anxious and decided to go.

We all gut up and they made me knock on the door of the bus.

Jack opened it.

“MAGGIE!” He yelled, pulling me up the stairs so he could hug me.

“Hi!” I said, trying to sound excited. ‘This is my band, Matt, Sam, and Andrew.”

“Hey guys! Come on in!” He said, motioning for all of us to get on the bus.

The next who saw me was Rian, I’d always thought Rian was the nicest out of the group.

“Hey girl! How are you? It’s been forever!” He hugged me.

“I’m good! And yes it has, weird coincidence though.”

Then Alex saw me, and pulled me into a hug.

“Hello again!” He said, clearly excited to see me.

I smiled, and then I saw Zack behind him.

I’d always liked Zack too, he was always nice to me even though he didn’t talk to me much.

“Hey!” He said, giving me a quick hug.

“Hi Zack!”

I introduced everyone to my band, and everyone was very welcoming to them.

Once everything simmered down, I ended up sitting on a couch with Alex and Jack and we talked.

“So when did you start a band?” Jack asked.

“Well they needed a singer around a year and a half ago and I’d been friends with Andrew so he asked me and it all went up from there.”

“I never knew you liked music.” He said.

Well you didn’t really know me well, I wanted to say, but I didn’t.

“Yeah, I love it. How has the band been doing since high school? Obviously well if you’re headlining. ”

They both talked about their albums and how awesome of fans they had and how much they loved it.

I smiled and nodded and occasionally commented, but I was just happy they weren’t asking me questions, I wasn’t much of a talker.

“What are their names?” Alex asked me pointing to Sam an Matt.

“The one wearing red is Sam, he plays guitar, and the one in yellow is Matt and he plays bass.”

He smiled.

“They remind me of a younger Jack and I.” He said.

“Who’s who?” Jack asked.

“Matt’s you and Sam’s me.” He said.

“Well I might have to talk to them and find out if I agree or not.” Jack said.

“They’ll be really excited to hear you said that.” I said.

They both smiled, and Jack got up to talk to Sam and Matt.

I looked over at them.

Andrew was talking to Rian about Travis Barker and how awesome he is.

Matt and Sam were talking to Jack and Zack about something.

But they all looked like they were having the time of their lives. The only time I’ve seen them happier, is when they’re playing music.

I felt myself getting this huge dumb smile on my face.

“They’re cool guys.” Alex said. “And you guys are good enough to go places.”

“Thank you, that’s a big compliment coming from someone who has.”

He smiled.

“Wanna go for a walk?” He said.

I didn’t wanna say no, so I nodded and we walked off the bus.

“I like it at night in the summer. It’s colder and the air is crisp.” He said.

We walked down the row of buses.

He was right, it was cooler and the air was crisp.

The sun was nearly setting, but we couldn’t see it because it was blocked by the many rows of buses.

I looked at my feet, not knowing what to say to him.

I wished I could ask him why he was being so nice to me now, because he hadn’t been when we were younger.

He hadn’t been mean exactly, he just never really acknowledged I was there.

But in some ways, he was mean to Annie, and I didn’t know if I could let that go; because even though my sister and I weren’t even remotely close she was still my sister.

As if he could read my mind, he asked, “So how’s Annie been?”

“I think she’s good.” I said, still looking down at my feet.

“You think?” He asked.

“Yeah, you know she and I were never really close.”

He was silent.

We reached a picnic table at the end of the row of buses.

He sat down, so I sat down across from him.

We sat in silence for a second, so when he spoke, it kind of surprised me.

“Some of your songs, the lyrics, they’re really powerful. Can I ask what you write about?”

This caught me really off guard, and I didn’t want to talk about this with him, but I couldn’t be rude, so I gave him a half assed answer.

“Oh, well, I kind of went through a really rough time my sophomore and junior year of high school. And senior year was hard, but it was better.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Did Annie know? She never mentioned anything to me.”

“No.”

I got a little choked up.

I felt dumb for getting choked up, but I did.

I traced the patterns of the wood on the bench, trying to give myself a reason not to look at him
in case I teared up.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah.” I said.

“Maggie, it’s okay, you don’t have to bottle it up.”

That was one of my lyrics.

If I keep this inside any longer my dear, I’m afraid my mind will crash and burn.

He really had been listening.

“It’s just, I don’t want to sound mean but, she was kind of too busy with you to notice, trying to make you like her. And when she wasn’t with you, she didn’t care. She was off being the perfect Annie Collins.”

I finally looked up, to judge his expression.

He looked confused.

“Maggie, I’m sorry.”

I got up.

“It’s fine. And will you call me Olivia please? I left Maggie behind in high school.” I said, and I
walked away.

I walked away because I didn’t want Alex Gaskarth to see me cry.