Keeping Secrets

Destiny hugs her legs to her chest, looking out of her window from her bed. It’s been two days since she sent the letter to Cody after that horrible day at school. Austin and his friends have been lying low the last two days as well, almost as if they know she talks about them. She sighs heavily, as it starts to pour rain.

Her phone rings, the music piercing the silence in which she was sitting in. Destiny reaches over and grips her phone, bringing it back to her original position and answering it hesitantly.

“Hello.” she says softly.

“I’m not coming home tonight.” her dads raspy voice says on the other line.

“Okay.” Destiny replies, her voice still soft and hesitant.

He hangs up and she sets the phone down next to her. Still no calls or a sign of her mother, but Destiny doesn’t care anymore. She’s sick of caring about anything. The silence crushes her, and she feels as if she’s suffocating. Suddenly, she can’t seem to stand the silence at all. Destiny moves to the edge of her bed, placing her feet steadily on the cool floor. She strides across the room, plugging her IPod into its speakers and throwing on Last Resort by Papa Roach.

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort, suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arms bleeding
This is my last resort,

Destiny heads into the bathroom while the words shout through the speakers, loud enough that the neighbors will probably call the Police to complain. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t care about anything. Destiny opens her secret drawer, pulling out the sharp razor and smiling sadly at herself in the mirror. Her curly dark brown hair is matted, a huge mess. Her light blue eyes are dull with a spark of craziness. She doesn’t feel anything right now. She’s empty.

Do you even care if I die bleeding?
Would it be wrong, would it be right?
If I took my life tonight,
Chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight
and I'm contemplating suicide

She blinks at herself in the mirror, willing the sad girl away. How did she get here? How did she become this person? Destiny bows her head, the razor clutched in her hand tightly. She breathes deeply.

The music flows down the hallway, wrapping around her.

'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

Destiny looks up again, the eyes staring back at her wide and bright. She lifts up her pants, placing her foot carefully on the edge of the bathtub. She raises the razor up to look at it for a second. What happened to me? She thinks as she lays the razor on her upper thigh, pressing deep and slashing across.

Instantly blood wells up and spills over, and she can feel again. The pain travels up from her leg to her brain, telling her that she’s in pain, but because of her sickening way, it’s a good pain. She watches it bleed for a few seconds before she reaches over and grabs a towel, pressing it against the gash.

I never realized I was spread too thin
'Til it was too late and I was empty within

Destiny pulls the towel away, lowering her leg onto the ground and rummages through the cabinet, finding a bandage to wrap around it. She proceeds to wrap it up, then she allows her pant leg to fall back down to hide it.

She limps back to her room, as the song finishes up. She turns off her IPod. The silence is welcoming now. She makes her way downstairs, looking around. The rain outside pounds against the windows, and thunder rumbles across the sky, following after the streaks of lightning. She heads to the front door and goes outside, rain instantly soaking her to the skin.

She continues forward until she’s at the end of her driveway. She looks left and right, no cars in sight. Destiny sighs heavily, moving further to the edge, the rain melting into her, becoming one with her. Tears start to flow down her cheeks, but no one would have been able to tell because of the rain.

Destiny closes her eyes; feeling sobs in her chest, but chooses not to let them out. It’s deathly quiet, no traffic or movement in any houses. Most people would be asleep or relaxing with their families. Not Destiny. She stays alone, if her father is around its bad news. She doesn’t know what love is. She lost herself years ago.

A honk sounds, alarming her into opening her eyes. She gazes into the eyes of Austin as his car swerves and knocks into her. She opens her mouth and screams, not feeling anything. Then, she drifts into nothing but black.