Keeping Secrets

Cody looks over at his mom. Angie sets the suitcase in the trunk of Matt’s truck. Matt and his wife are sitting in the front seats. Cody, Greyson, Alli and Madelyn climb into the back with the suitcases. They are driving to the airport and then getting on a plane to Wisconsin. From there, they are going to find directions to every hospital in Wisconsin and figure out which ones have had patients with the most suicide attempts. All Cody has to do is find the highest suicide victims and ask them if the necklace is theirs.

It’s not going to be as easy as it sounds, and Cody knows this. In fact, everyone knows this but they are all still willing to stick by his side and help him. Not just help him, but also the girl. She needs them.

Cody runs his thumb over the necklace, sighing to himself. Brad walks down the driveway with an envelope in his hand. Cody knows what it is without asking. It must be the last letter she said she would write. Brad hands it to him sullenly.

“Be careful.” He warns Cody.

Cody nods, pressing his back against the truck and opening the envelope.

Dear Cody Simpson;
April 15, 2012

So it’s about time I explain everything to you. From the very beginning of when everything fell apart. I wasn’t always this girl that you’ve come to know. I was once happy. Once I didn’t have scars all down my arms. Once I didn’t care what people said and I had friends. No one bullied me back then. It all changed exactly six years ago today. I was with my mom and my little sister at the park. My dad was at home sleeping because he worked late. But anyway, we were having so much fun, when my sister did something that upset me. So I pushed her, and I didn’t realize we were at the edge of the cliff, and she fell. She hit her head and drowned. My mom hated me after that. She began to take all her anger out on me all the time. My dad came close to hitting me a few times. They became so angry and filled with hate that my mom couldn’t bear to look at me half the time. They began telling me I was worthless, and that in turn made me start feeling sick about myself. I started cutting. Then at school, people started noticing and making fun of me. It got to the point where I would typically be in the principal’s office once a week for being late to class due to being beat up by the popular kids. When I attempted suicide for the first time, my mom finally showed a little compassion. She was nice to me for weeks after it. It was nice, but then she went back to her old ways and I got frightened again. So maybe my attempting suicide was a way to bring out the compassion in her that I was longing; the attention that I was being denied. Soon, it became sort of like a game. The cutting became my way of coping with the kids from school. By my fourth attempt, I started to realize that I truly hated myself and my life. How can someone love themselves when everyone around them is always angry and bitter and mean to them? I tried to be someone I wasn’t. I tried to be someone people could like, but it only backfired and brought me further into oblivion. Cody, what I’m saying is that no one here loves me. No one wants me, and I guess I’m really hoping that just maybe you’ll want me. That you can bring me back and make me who I was before. I don’t want to be this way anymore, but if you can’t even care, then I guess I really don’t deserve to live. All I’ve ever wanted was to be loved, but everyone here has turned their backs on me. So, I’m going to try and give them what they want; a life without me.

-Anonymous.

Madelyn places her hand on Cody’s shoulder gently squeezing it. He didn’t even notice that she was reading it over his shoulder. Next to him, Greyson appears to be reading it. Cody hands it to him. Greyson moves it so both he and Alli could read it together. Madelyn glances at Cody sadly and turns to look back towards his parents just as the truck starts to pull away.

“You’re doing the right thing.” She says quietly. “We’re going to save her. You just have to believe in yourself and her.”

Cody nods, mentally appreciating the fact that she’s here. Madelyn has always been a sweet girl. The kind of girl to go out of her way to make sure other people are okay.

“I know,” Cody replies. “But I just feel like when we find her, it’ll be too late.”

Greyson hands the letter back to Cody, who folds it up and sticks it back into the envelope; slipping the packet into his carry-on bag. Alli shares a small glance with him, then pulls out her phone and pays attention to it. He can’t blame her.

“It won’t be too late. She’s waiting for you.” Madelyn responds, pulling her hand away and frowning down at her lap.

“She doesn’t even know if I’ve read the letters. She’s just assuming.”

“She knows, Cody. Somewhere inside herself, she knows that you’ve read them and that you’re coming. Trust me, Codes. She knows.”

Cody lets out a deep breath and nods. He is comforted by Madelyn’s words, mostly because Cody knows that if the girl killed herself, he would feel it. He knows he would, because even without him knowing her, he has a connection now. They are connected. Cody will give her love and hope and a reason to live, even if it has to be just him. He won’t let her down.

The truck pulls out onto the highway and Cody turns to Greyson.

“Thank you so much for coming.”

Greyson smiles softly at him. “No problem, Cody. You need me. That’s what best friends are for.”

Cody gives him a tight lipped smile and turns back to stare at the highway behind them. Matt’s wife agreed to come because Matt explained the situation to her, and when she heard that the girl’s mother walked out on her, she offered to help by being a mother figure. Cody has a feeling it might upset the girl a little more, but it was the only way Matt was allowed to come, so Cody agreed to letting her tag along. Honestly, he doesn’t care who comes, so long as they find the girl and save her.

At the airport, they go through the security and head over to their gate number. It’s a private plane, since mostly everyone is famous, besides Madelyn. She’s not really all that famous yet, but she’s getting there. They get on the plane, their luggage placed gently into the part of the plane where they put it. Cody sits himself down by a window seat, not surprised when Alli sits next to him. She reaches over and takes his hand in hers.

“Don’t worry, Codes. We’ll find her.”

She lets go of his hand and pulls out her IPod, placing the ear buds in her ears. Cody sighs and pulls out his own IPod. He closes his eyes and let’s himself melt into the music, all the while desperately hoping the girl is safe and sound, just until he can get to her.