Chance Encounters

I didn’t know why I had decided to stay with Ellie. I was almost positive that if I was here, she and Mary would continue to watch me like a hawk. But at the same time, I did realize that they were just looking out for me. They were like the family I never had, in a way.

I lay in bed restlessly, waiting for numbness or exhaustion to overcome my body and compel me to pass out. But the tiredness I nonchalantly expected never arrived. I was continuously blinking my eyes, almost as an alternative to tossing and turning. My fingers tapped perpetually against the hem of my pajama pants. I tried to force an irrelevant thought into my mind, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t push the memory of Ellie pressing her lips against mine out of my head.

I wasn’t obsessed. I wasn’t scared or afraid.

I was confused.

How had I not noticed that she possibly had feelings for me?

How did I not see that it killed her as much as it did me when I started to leave?

How did I not realize that every fight we had made us connect even more?

And why had I been such a jerk to her? All she had done to me was shown me love.

I took a deep breath, channeling my thoughts and dealing with them. I couldn’t avert the problem anymore. I liked Ellie. She was potentially the reason that I was alive. There was no way I could pay her back, but I liked her. I would protect her, even with my frail body and small stature.

Before I ventured further into the back of my mind, I heard the crack of my door. A light in the hallway burst heavily into my room. I was blinded until the door had closed again. The figure that was now right next to the door turned on the lamp, nearing towards me. After moving my fingers away from my sensitive eyes, I could see that it was Ellie.

“Luke, can I talk to you?” She asked apprehensively.

I promptly sat up and smiled at her curiously.

“What for?” I asked, teasing her. When Ellie noticed my playful mood, she exhaled a breath that she had been holding for at least fifteen seconds and made her way to the bed. She crawled on top of the comforter and sat across from me, ceasing to make much eye contact.

She wore an attractive nightgown that went right above her knees. It was made of a thin, purple material. The lightweight spaghetti straps slid near the edge of her shoulders, giving her a careless, beautiful essence. I gazed near her knees, noticing a pattern of lace etched against the bottom of the gown. It was by far one of the most flattering outfits on Ellie. However, Ellie noticed that I was staring at her and wrapped her arms around her body.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be wearing this. I totally forgot about it,” she said self-consciously.

I smirked as our eyes met.

“It’s okay,” I said, still not comfortable with the fact that our relationship was not defined. Apparently Ellie could read my mind because she instantly spoke up.

“Right. I just ….I…I…wanted to apologize for the kiss,” she said, not sounding remorseful whatsoever. We stayed in silence for a couple of moments, enjoying each other’s company in the room. I can’t explain what it was, but we were somehow covering a connection. We both knew that we enjoyed the kiss, but we were acting like it was wrong. I needed to voice my opinion, or else everything would sprawl out into a mess.

“Why?” I asked simply. That was all I could say. It was short and simple; exactly what she needed to hear. I wasn’t going to go on in life knowing that we both had an interest in one another but never did anything about it.

“It was immature for me to do that,” she said, straightening out a wrinkle on the fabric. I glanced at her body once more, noticing the slight curves and smooth, tangible skin underneath her gown. She was ravishing in an imperfect way. Ellie wasn’t like a supermodel or a celebrity. She didn’t look fake and she didn’t try to look fake. When she smiled, her facial expressions would jump out at me, almost as if they were trying to reach me. Ellie was simple.

“It’s not immature. It was an action that you took because you felt like it was right. You shouldn’t regret that,” I said, watching as her look of guilt changed into curiosity.

“You’re not mad at me?” She asked, her eyebrows pushing against each other.

“No. It was a kiss. It’s not like you pointed a gun at me,” I replied. Ellie slouched down in despondency.

“Are you all right?” I asked after a couple seconds of observing her body language.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just…I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” She said, hastily steadying herself and pushing off of the creaky bed. The mattress bounced up after she had stood up. Ellie began to leave the room, but I didn’t know why.

I jumped off of the bed and followed after her, watching as her footsteps grew quicker and quicker and quicker. Ellie walked into her room and forgot to close the door. I walked behind her and waited until she turned around. When she saw me, she jumped back in fear. Her eyes widened before returning to normal.

“What are you doing in here?” She whispered, probably trying not to wake up Mary.

“Just because we have some problems to work out doesn’t mean that I don’t have an interest in you,” I said, making her stare at me like I was crazy.

Without any approval, I impulsively pressed my fingers against her cheeks and pushed us together, connecting my lips with hers. It was the same feeling as last time, confusion and awkwardness, mixed with hunger and desire. She separated her lips, waiting for me to continue.

My hands moved away from her velvety cheeks and against her waist. I wrapped my fingers around the gown, feeling the rough pattern and smooth, light weight fabric all at once. She cautiously glided her tongue on my lips, compelling me to part them. She twirled my hair with her shaky hands, spreading each strand apart. This was what I never had expected. We weren’t together. Yet, we were.

I kicked the door closed, my arms still tightly wrapped around Ellie. She seemed almost frightened somehow. I didn’t know if she was just confused, but I needed some clarity.

Ellie pulled away softly, reminiscing in what had just occurred. She bit her lower lip before opening her eyes and gazing at me. She swept a hand through her disheveled hair and frowned. She took a sharp turn on her ankle and sat on her bed, still eyeing me. She sighed, crossed her legs, and parted her lips.

“So, what does this make us?” She asked, not really expecting me to know the answer. But she did have a good point. What did those kisses make us? Did they mean anything? I couldn’t really come up with a satisfactory response, so I shrugged and sat down next to her.

“Well, we’re not dating,” I said.

Ellie nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear and lying back on the bed. I watched as her chest rose gently, and then shrunk down again. I lay down next to her, peering up at the empty ceiling.

“No, we’re not,” she said.

“And we’re not um, fuck buddies,” I answered, not having another word to use.

“Luke!” Ellie exclaimed, slapping me playfully on the chest and glaring at me. Ellie didn’t necessarily like when people swore in normal conversations. She thought it was dense and uncalled for. I smirked at her, realizing she still wasn’t smiling.

After a couple of moments had gone by, we were left at the same spot; staring at each other with nothing to say.

“I…I think I’m going to head into my room,” I started to say before Ellie tugged on my arm.

“Sleep with me tonight,” she said, carelessly curling up into a ball and hiding under a million sheets. Even though her idea of sleeping with someone probably meant literally sleeping, I didn’t know for sure. She was unpredictable in that way. But my eyes widened anyhow.

“You know Mary’s rules,” I uttered, attempting to not get on her Aunt’s bad side. Ellie huffed and turned away from me.

“Please?” She pleaded. “She doesn’t have to find out.”

“Fine,” I groaned, noticing I didn’t have a way out of this. I turned off the light by the bed and pulled up the sheets. Crawling into bed, I could feel the warmth radiate onto me. As soon as I had wrapped the blankets over my body, Ellie huddled up close to me. I was uncomfortable at first. She wasn’t usually like this.

“Um…Goodnight,” I called quietly. She pressed her hips against my thighs, making me feel even more awkward.

“Night,” she said, turning her head and strangely kissing me. I started to pull away, but she continued, rotating her body and facing me. She climbed on top of me, still managing to keep our lips together.

“Ellie,” I huffed as she grinded her hips against mine. She smiled, the edges of her lips pointing upwards. She started to tug at my shirt, requesting me to take it off.

“Are you sure?” I asked hesitantly.