Chance Encounters

I sat in the car, trying to avoid having a panic attack. We weren’t really where I thought we were. Luke had said we were going to the park. This wasn’t the park. He made a wrong turn. He was lying. I tried to rationalize it. Somehow cope with the terrifying truth that was staring me in the face and crashing on the sand. I had crossed my arm over my seat belt and planted my feet on the floor. Luke could stand at my door for another 5 minutes for all I cared. He could stand there all night, but I was not moving of my own volition.

“Come one Ellie, get out of the car.” Luke said for the 5th time. I shook my head. If I were to speak now I wouldn’t be pleasant. Luke made a noise in the back of his throat and I looked at him. H leaned into the car, Leaned over me and undid my seat belt. “Get out Ellie.”

Panicking I redid the belt and shook my head again sending my waves of hair flailing around my head. Not happening I thought clutching tightly to the strap keeping me in the safety of the car. I tried to Avoid Luke’s gaze but I could see him out of the corner of my eye and his gaze was determined. No no no no no no no no no no. I chanted in my head. I was not going onto that beach. Never. But the option, it seemed wasn’t even an option. Luke leaned over me again and undid my belt once more. As I let go of the strap to redo the belt he scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder.

“Luke!” I panicked and squeaked hitting his shoulder to try to get him to put me down. “Let me down!” I cried my heart beat thudding against my rib-cage and in my throat and head. A couple of strangers who were still on the beach were starring at us, the probably thought we were some cute couple doing something. I didn’t want someone to come over but at the same time I wished one of them could stop this. With every step Luke brought me closer and closer to the water. “Stop stop stop!” I pleaded silently but frantically. I was about to start crying. Why Luke? Why did you lie? How did you even know?!

Slowly and Carefully Luke put me down on the sand about three feet away from the water. I closed my eyes and buried my head in my knees. I felt Luke sit down next to me and he put his arm around my shoulder.

“Are you okay?” He asked calmly. I shook my head, my hair falling in front of whatever was left visible of my face. No, I wasn’t okay. My heart felt like it was trying to force its way through my rib-cage, my vision, if my eyes were open would have been blurry, I was shaking, and I couldn’t control my breathing. Luke scooted closer to me and pet my hair softly, I think he was trying to be calming but it wasn’t quite working.

“Why?” I whimpered still speaking into my knees. I could hear the waves crashing on the sand and the sound was amplified in my ears. I could hear the water as if it was pounding down on top of me.

“Mary, she told me that you were afraid of water.” Luke said and I turned my head towards his voice and was using my hair to block the view of the water, but I knew it was there. “She wouldn’t tell me why, I… I wanted to try and help.”

“By bringing me here and giving me a panic attack?” I asked my voice cracking again. I closed my mouth tightly and pulled my knees closer to my body.

“I didn’t plan on the panic attack.” Luke muttered. HE sat there quietly for a moment and I looked at him again. His arm was still wrapped around my shoulders and I leaned into him slightly. Being closer to him was comforting. “Why are you so terrified of water?” Luke asked blatantly. I stiffened for a moment then tried to loosen up a little bit. “You don’t have to tell me, it’s just I want you to be able to share everything with me. You’re there for me through so much, I just want you to have the same thing.” Luke said, He looked down at me with his blue eyes. Those eyes you could get lost in and I felt myself melt a little bit. Even in the midst of all my horror, he could still do it.

I tried to take a deep breath to stop some of the hyperventilating but the breath I took in was shaky, and the breath out wasn’t much better. He wanted me to be able to rely on him. He wanted me to trust him. I would try.

“I was 6,” I started. I felt Luke shift as I started to speak. I wasn’t looking at him, but instead I was picking up the sand around my shoes and letting it slip through my fingers. “My dad, my dad used to love going camping. We would do the whole thing, with tents and sleeping bags and roasting marshmallows with sticks. We would do it almost every other week. I really liked it too, I was little and it was a huge adventure for me you know? Exploring the camp ground and sleeping under the stars?” I had made a pretty good size pile of sand but I kicked it over with the tip of my sneaker.

“Well, one week, my father’s business partner told him about this great camping spot, it was supposed to be a really great and unknown spot. Not a lot of campers in RVs and all those people who don’t really know how to camp. Well, when my father heard about that he knew he was taking us there. That weekend he had us all loaded in the car and heading up to this amazing camping site. It was about a three hour drive out of town and up in some pretty secluded areas of I don’t even know where. I remember I had to use the bathroom really bad, but my dad said there weren’t any bathrooms nearby except at the campsite. It felt like it took so long to get there,” I was trailing off, I was avoiding the real reason for the story. I grabbed another handful of sand and started again.

“Okay, so when we got there my dad realized why it was such a secluded camping site. It was because, those people with RV’s usually have kids, and people with kids, don’t want them playing around huge, really fast River. My mom was upset, I remember that, she was pissed that my dad hadn’t asked why the campsite was so empty before he dragged us out there. She couldn’t convince him to drive another four hours to go to our normal camping spot though. So she pulled me aside and warned me to stay away from the river. I told her I would. And that was that. We spent the night at the camp site and everything was great. We had our marshmallows and went to bed.

“I woke up first in the morning. The air was so cold. I remember wanting to just crawl into the sleepingbag again but mornings were the best time to go exploring. So I grabbed my jacket before crawling out of the tent. The wind was really strong when I was trying to pul my jacket on. It kept blowing the sleeve I needed away from me, then I got the idea to turn around and put the jacket on, because then the sleeve would be blowing towards me. I’m not sure how, but the wind caught my jacket and blew it towards the river. I thought my mom was going to be pissed if I lost it so I made sure I didn’t hear them and ran after my jacket.

“It wasn’t too close to the river so I felt safe. I caught up with it and tried to grab it. I grabbed onto the sleeves but the wind kept trying to blow the jacket away from me. I managed to grab ahold of it mostly, but when I started walking back my foot slipped on a patch of moss on the rocks. First I fell forwards. I dropped my jacket and felt onto my stomach. I freaked out, my feet were over the edge and I could feel the water about a foot down spraying my legs. I tried to get a grip of the rocks but they were all wet and covered in moss,” I held up my fingers and looked at them, “But they kept slipping. I would catch a grip and then loose it again in a second. And the longer I was there the more of me was slipping over the edge.

“I don’t know why it took so long for me to do it, but I called out for my dad, I could barely hear my own voice over the roar that the river made so I screamed it louder, and louder, and louder. Finally I heard something coming from my parent’s tent, but I was so far over the edge then, and my fingers were cold and wet, and they hurt so much, I couldn’t hold on. I saw my mom’s face before I lost the hold completely. I fell back into the water.” I was shaking again and Luke pulled me closer to him.

“Ellie,” He said, “if you don’t want to, you don’t have to keep going.” He lifted my chin and I looked at him. His face was concerned and I saw something I needed in his gaze. I knew that I couldn’t stop though.

“No, I’ll keep going.” I muttered. “The water was really cold, It was like jumping into a tub of water filled with Ice, except a tub of water doesn't push you like the river did. I knew how to swim, but the water was moving faster than I could go, I managed to stay above water for a few seconds, I was choking and breathing in water, but I was above it. But that only lasted for a few seconds and every second the river kept taking me farther away from my mom and dad. My arms were already tired from trying to hold onto the rocks and I couldn't keep treading water or whatever I was doing.

“ I started to sink under water I was like a bobbing lure, and when that happens your body does this thing where it tries to get air every time it surfaces, but you don’t know for how long you’ll be above the water, so half the time you’re just breathing in more and more water. Then you stop surfacing. And when you stop surfacing you hold your breath, for as long as you can, you feel like your head is about to explode, and your lungs are about to crack open, and all I wanted to do was cough up the water I had already swallowed and grab the biggest gulp of air I could. But I couldn't move my arms.” My eyes started tearing up and I wiped my arm across them to try and stop it. I buried my face in Luke’s shoulder as he squeezed me tightly.

“And then I couldn't see anymore. Everything was colors and light. I stopped feeling cold after a little bit and I didn't feel the pain in my head anymore. Then I just blacked out. The next thing I know I’m laying down on some hard rocks and my dad is giving me CPR and Everything is hurting. Things that I never knew existed were hurting and I was puking up water, tons of water. I had to go to the hospital for two days, and my mom and dad had the biggest fight ever outside of my hospital room while they thought I was asleep. And me being six I thought it was because I had lost my coat in the river.” I gave a halfhearted laugh and hugged Luke tightly. I felt exhausted and I just wanted to cry. “I’m sorry I didn't tell you.” I said quietly and clung to him.