If Not for You

Tony Stark stared at Billie as she tilted her head back to down the glass of alcohol he had handed her. It was obvious she was in a distressed state and he hoped that maybe by offering her a job that things would appear better, outlook wise for her. First he wanted to see what she would be good at business wise so he arranged the conversation in a casual manner that he could find out. Pulling out his cellular device, Tony showed her the plans for a new product, Billie looked at the screen while cradling the now empty glass.

“Emergency Generators? Ever think to get them to be test run and eventually tested for use at hospitals, they‘d save a lot of money using the alternative source of energy and probably would be more reliable.”

“That’s a good target market. You bring a nice slant on the project.”

“I guess, I thought it was logical to target hospitals. I mean you could market it to homes but its too pricey for the small scale. Focus on hospitals, manufacturers and green companies they are the ones with the money to make the conversion,” Billie spoke in an eloquent manner.

“You really do know your stuff don’t you?”

“More or less.”

“Want to get in on the project?” Tony questions.

“Don’t you have university graduates and other more qualified people to do this? I flunked two courses last semester.”

“You would have passed if you didn’t get kidnapped.”

“I’d have barely passed, accounting is not my strong suit,” she argues in a bitter tone.

“Hey but you’re pretty good at marketing and ideas. I could set up an internship at the LA location if that makes you feel more comfortable.”

“What? No, don’t do that.”

“Too late it’s happening you’ll be there on Monday 9 a.m. sharp,” he counters with a smile.

“You’re a pain in the ass Stark,” Billie state shaking her head at him.

“Don’t act like you don’t love me everyone loves Iron Man.”
“You’re a lot more generous than people give you credit for.”

“Well thank you, I try,” Tony grins. Billie stayed for a bit longer before heading out to talk to Jay who had been staying at separate room resting. She rapped her knuckles on the open door and Sergeant Joseph Vargas looked up from the cot with a small smile. Billie sat down next to him and gave a weak smile.

“How are you feeling kid?”

“I’m alright,” Jay spoke then looked at her examining her features. “You‘ve changed a lot.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why? You’ve always been pretty awesome B you’re just getting better with age. Look at yourself you’re a superhero. That’s pretty cool considering you used be constantly sick and shit when we were kids,” he states as he put his arm around her in a reassuring manner. “You’re looking pretty good too, if I didn’t know you personally I’d definitely tap that.”

“Wow, that is the nicest thing I‘ve ever heard you say to anyone,” Billie responds in an exaggerated manner.

“I know right? Feel special because I’m not this nice very often.”

“I’m aware of your fleeting sincerity with the female population.”

“You don’t count, I considering you a honorary man that happens to like dudes, it‘s okay I won‘t judge you for liking dudes,” Jay adds with a smile. Billie couldn’t help but laugh and she shook her head at him.

“You’re horrible,” she states.

“So what’s the story between you and the Captain? Another guy you don‘t tell anyone you‘re dating?”

“No, I’m not dating anyone, I’m trying to get my shit together.”

“So you two just casually piss each other off and exchange longing looks when you think no one is looking? Kinda seems like you‘re dating.”

“Well we’re not, I’m never good at that stuff. Better at being alone,” Billie responds.

“You’re right, you becoming a crazy cat lady spinster is much more appealing,” Jay replies sardonically.

“I’m allergic to cats.”

“Alright then spinster is far worse, I mean basically you are single, old, and nobody wants you but they think you‘re sad and lonely with saggy--”

“I get it,” she interrupts as she shot him a glare.

“I don‘t think you‘d really become a spinster though, maybe that cool old lady that sets the record for baking the world‘s biggest chocolate chip cookie,” he states. Billie let out a small chuckle shaking her head at him. He stared at her for a long time and she stopped laughing giving him a questioning look. “Thanks for coming after me B, its really good to know you have my back even though I can be a real asshole from time to time.”

“I‘ll always have your back Jay.”

“I know that now,” he spoke with a grateful nod of acknowledgement.

“Good,” she smiles. A wicked feeling crept up on her causing her to stand up and gave him a feeble smile. She felt unusually uncomfortable and cold. “I’ve got to do a few things.”

“So I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah,” Billie spoke quickly before heading out of the room. Never was she one to complain about the cold but now it was more noticeable. She didn’t feel very well as she walked slowly towards her room. Once back she crawled into the bed and curled up into a ball to sleep, hoping that she would feel better. Bruce knocked on the door to ask Billie if she was alright. When he didn’t get an answer he got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Knocking again he slowly opened the door to see her lying on her side unmoving.

“Billie? Are you okay?” Bruce questions nudging her gently. She barely moved in reaction but just enough to open her eyes and look at Bruce. Her hand raised up and grabbed his to pull him down. Bruce shivered at her cold touch.

“Sit.”

“You’re freezing,” he comments.

“I know its cold in here,” she states slowly sitting up and leaning against his warm frame.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m tired, cold and I want to go home.”

“You’ve become more prone to reptilian traits.”

“I think I can deal with the sensitivity to the cold, it’s the other things that are not settling very well with me.”

“What do you mean?” Bruce counters. Billie replayed the events, closing her eyes as she took in a sharp intake of air. She looked like she was about to say something but she didn’t. The truth fell short as it seemed to be doing in the past several weeks for her.

“I‘m tired,” Billie says quietly.

“Yeah I know what you mean,” he replies softly. He knew the exhaustion, the isolation and stress caused by becoming something else, something more dangerous than you used to be. The constant struggle to hold on to humanity while that dangerous thing takes over your body like a rapid fire. Bruce knew her tribulation, that she was changing and felt helpless to the change. He knew she needed someone who understood that and could honestly tell her if things got any better. That was the basis of their dynamic, the judgment was set aside and they could actually relax in one another’s company. It wasn’t romantic, it was friendship.

When the time came for Billie to finally get back to her apartment and more or less go back to living her life, she found herself looking back at the taxi that had just driven her home. Looking back she thought about the events that had occurred, including the kiss she shared with Steve. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy the kiss, it was that she didn’t know how to properly communicate her own feelings towards him. Pushing the feelings to the back of her mind she opted to focus her energies on other things.

Come Monday morning she had been ripped from her dreams of sleep by an alarm she hadn’t set on her phone. A familiar voice had taken over and she wanted nothing more than to find the particular person to murder him for waking her.

“Pinche culo metallic!” she curses as Tony sang horribly from her phone that was on full volume.

“Did you just call me a metal asshole in Spanish? Don’t make me go over there and get you for your first day of work.”

“I didn’t agree to this, I have other jobs and this is my sleeping time. Leave me be.”

“You really want to be a stripper to pay off your tuition and loans?”

“You’re an asshole,” Billie mutters as she got up from her spot to get ready. “What time is it anyways?”

“Five-thirty, open your door I brought coffee and donuts,” Tony responds. Billie let out a slew of more curses causing Tony to chuckle from the other side of the door. She unlocked the door and looked at Tony with a great irritation. He smiled at her holding up the coffee and donuts as an offering for her not to kill him. Billie took the box of donuts and walked towards the couch while Tony trailed behind her.

“You said to go at nine and you’re here over three hours beforehand.”

“I don’t know how long it takes you to get ready woman.”

“Not three hours, hell not even an hour,” she counters sitting on the couch as she opened the box filled with every donut she could think of. She grabbed the first one she saw and looked at Tony as he sat next to her. “So why can’t you sleep?”

“Who said I can’t sleep? I could just be a really great guy who is making sure you go to work.”

“Tony, this is a little out of the way to wake me up and get breakfast.”

“Maybe but hey you’re getting coffee and donuts out of my lack of sleep.”

“This is true,” Billie states before taking a bite of the donut. A low hmm of satisfaction escaped her lips as she sunk further into the couch. Tony handed her the cup of coffee and leaned back into the ouch as well. At times he was lonely and noticed that he could just sit with Billie in silence without the pressure of having to talk or do much of anything.

“So you going to show me what you‘re going to wear?”

“Gray suit, white shirt, simple as that.”

“That’s so boring.”

“Don‘t all my suit boring it actually fits properly for my short stature and proportions. Things aren‘t boring if they fit well,” she argues.

“Any other examples of things not being boring if they fit well?” Tony counters with a smirk.

“Clothes, I was aiming this towards clothes Tony.”

“Of course you were, you have a perverted mind Billie.”

“Your face, I hate it,” she replies getting up from the couch. “I’m going to get ready and all that jazz.”

“Well what am I supposed to do?”

“Entertain yourself, watch TV or something.”
Billie headed back to her bedroom with the coffee in hand and shut the door behind her. While she got ready or rather lied in bed half dressed, Tony got bored watching the television. He took notice of the desk in the corner of the room that held a mess of crafts. There was a leather bond book with light detailed engravings, it looked as though it belonged in a fairytale. On the cover it had the beginnings of writing and Tony wondered whether Billie had created the book herself. He looked up from the area when heard the door open and the click of heels hit the floor. Tony had to admit although it was a gray suit, it was fitted incredibly well.

“Alright you’ve proven me wrong. You look good,” Tony says taking in her business attire.

“I do like being right,” Billie responds with a small smile.

“Did you make this?”

“In the process of, it’s for my friends’ wedding.”

“It’s incredible work, when‘s the wedding?” he comments.

“Coming up in a couple weeks or so.”

“Sounds like good times.”

“I think it should be,” Billie states as she sat back down onto the couch. “I’m throwing them a party soon, even set up their favorite band to play at the venue.”

“What’s their favorite band?”

“Marina Mile, had to pull a couple strings but they agreed to come.”

“They’re fairly famous aren’t they?” he questions.

“I suppose so, it’ll be great though. You should show up with Bruce or something, I don‘t think anyone would mind. It‘s going to be in two weeks.”

“Might have to stop by.”

“You better be,” Billie says with a smile. Tony had a feeling that Billie was fairly good at throwing parties, if she put as much as effort as she did on the book then it was going to be one for the books no pun intended. They decided to watch some cartoons while Billie waited for the appropriate time to leave for the job Tony wanted her to have. Simple was what it was, simple enough to make her at ease with the notion of going to a more professional job. Sitting there she was half tempted to suggest to Tony that Steve should come along for the party as well but the temptation was not strong enough to do so. She looked at Tony during the commercials and gave a smile. “You can come over anytime Tony.”

“I just may take advantage of that statement.”

“Right well, I don’t really mind being around you.”

“Likewise,” Tony replies taking a sip of his coffee. Although he remained cool and indifferent he really appreciated being told he was welcome in her home, something he didn’t get very often with people. Billie knew the loneliness one felt when their personality was more prone to solitude. She knew she was the same way, liking her time alone but had bouts of yearning human interaction. All humans yearned for interaction because deep down they all wanted to be heard or acknowledged by someone. To find people who understood that was hard and to find people who didn’t act differently if they hadn’t seen you in forever, well that was friendship.

Even if Billie could be awkward she did her best to make sure others around her felt comfortable and welcome in her presence because she knew how much she hated feeling unwelcome. Billie lightly tapped Tony’s coffee cup with hers and gave a smile that Tony returned. Simplicity at its finest.